I was remembered....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, May 11, 2009.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I just wanted to write a post that would let those of you who hurt over yesterday know that there is hope.

    So in the last 18 years of his life - the first 5.5 years were with my x and Mothers day was a Stupid holiday. So there was never any mention of me, a card, or a little something from my son.

    Then the last 13 years? Well I save everything - I've gotten 2 cards - both at the urging of DF, 2 African Violets and 2 plush animals. One year I got a wild rose bush. But I've never been recognized or appreciated in my mind.

    So Saturday Dude and I went to the flea market. What started out as a day I figured I dread turned into a fun and profitable day. I told him at the onset I had one rule for the day - he rolled his eyes - and I said "WE must have fun." That changed the tone for the entire day - and we worked together and did have fun. I took it as my Mothers Day.

    Well who would ever think = Sunday would have anything in store for me? I was quite satisfied with just changing the day to our fun on Saturday and even told everyone (I was so excited) that I had my Mother's day on Saturday.

    Sunday - I got to sleep in. I didn't figure anything special was going on - but DF and Dude had gotten together and decided turkey dinner was good for the day. Then about 4:30 - DF went to get Dude and I rode along. He gave me a boquet of flowers and a card. I've never gotten flowers from him. We got in the car - and I needed to run into the grocery store and he handed me a box - I opened it and it was a rose gold and sterling necklace that said Nana in script with a heart around it. For my Mom!
    I cried. He laughed and I said it was the sweetest thing he's ever done. No one TOLD him "MAKE SURE YOU GET GRANDMA something." he just did.

    Later than night - he gave me a very lovely card - that said My Mother is a Blessing - and well - It should have come with a box of Puffs or a dish towel - he even hand wrote his own sentiment in it about how I've always been there for him, and he appreciates me and thanks for not giving up.
    Okay gals at this point I'm a mess.....and then he takes another little pink box out of his pocket and it's got a butterfly necklace - rose gold and sterling....and he said - Thanks for giving me my wings Mom.

    I'm now sobbing - and I'm not an emo kid.

    But I have waited 18 years - for some incling, some sign - something - and while I said I don't like when other Moms go on and brag about their good days when they know I've had a bad one - I wanted to share this with those of you who are hurting. We've had SO few holidays together in his life - I can nearly count them on both hands in 18 years. Most were spent in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s or psychiatric hospitals, or juvenille jail - or foster homes.

    I never expected this - but it could happen for anyone if it could happen to me.

    I hope no matter how bad your day was - you know that despite these kids being able to tell you they appreciate and love you - they do.

    Hugs -
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    That's precious, Star. Way To Go Dude and DF.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Star...I am so glad this happened. I know exactly how you feel. So many holidays spent in some sort of care. Us doing the care packages so they will feel special.

    Like I said on another post, I never dreamed we would get to the point after the last several years that we would be liking Cory again. I actually have moments when I want to go see him and I look forward to him coming over here. That is the biggest gift of all.
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

  5. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Aww, STar,
    What a wonderful Mother's Day weekend you had...Love the part about you giving dude his "wings".

    I too had a nice Mother's Day...Both of my sons got me cards and both of them wrote in their "own" words what I have and do mean to them...it was very heartwarming.
    I hear you on how dear having them with us is when they have spent so many holidays and special days in a facility of some type or another. It is truly a blessing to make it to the "other side" with all of us in tact.

    Love to you and your dude,
  6. tinamarie1

    tinamarie1 Member

    that is awesome Star!
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Star, how very very wonderful.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Lovely. DDD
  9. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am so happy for you.
    Our kids respect us, even if some of them take 18 years to learn how show it. You are so much better for giving in to your true feelings when Dude was ready. Not becoming a hard shell.
    It must have been such a wonderful family moment.
  10. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Pass me the tissues. How nice.

  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    (said blubbering) Here - )passes box of tissues( I still get choked up when I see the butterfly necklace on my neck in the mirror at work.

    Good grief what a blubberpuss. :sad-very::redface:
  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    How wonderfully sweet! Proud mama...you so deserve it!
  13. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Pass those tissues my way. Sniff.
    That's really beautiful, Star. I'm glad he finally expressed that he appreciates you. That's HUGE!
  14. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Oh, Star! It's amazing when good things happen to those who deserve them!
    You give me so much hope for our difficult children. Thank you for sharing this. I needed the tissues as well.
  15. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    give me the Puffs next.........
  16. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Oh my goodness! You always bring me to tears! If my difficult child ever does that for me it will be on the front page of the paper. That is amazing. He did call and say happy mothers day - can you come and get me. At the time I couldnt - I was somewhere with my daughter - but I told him maybe later. He never called again. It would be so nice to get something from him - anything I could keep. I worked the hardest for him - more than the others - they remember but he just doesnt think about that part. Anyway, I am glad that happened for you.
  17. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Dangit Star....you made me cry. I HATE to cry.
  18. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Not crying...dust blew in the window and got in my eyes.....

  19. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Star, how wonderful! I have tears in my eyes and it does give me hope. Thank you for sharing this.
  20. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Dragged my husband to the computer and he cried as well, though "discreetly"...you know how men are.