I will not smoke, I will not smoke, I will not smoke....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearts and roses, Aug 20, 2008.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    That is my mantra right this very minute. I've quit smoking and I want so desperately to go down to the mini mart and grab a pack....difficult child had a meltdown this evening and first threatened to kill herself, and then H. I had gone to the gym and afterwards met a friend for a drink (I know, nice combo;)). It was only 8PM...she called me freaking out, crying. Despite keeping my cool, she flipped out and said she was going to go insane if she was trapped here with H. I said, "I will be home in one hour - we'll talk then" and she said some not so very nice words and hung up on me. As I was pulling into the neighborhood, she called my cell and said she'd gotten a ride and was staying at a friend's house....meanwhile,

    ...all the way home I was imagining the worst...the house surrounded by cops and ambulances...me calling the cops when I found her bloodied body in her room, her funeral, would I cremate her?...finding H bloodied in bed, difficult child gone. Oh my Goodness, such horrible thoughts were rushing through my head...I of course, talked myself out of them because we all know she was just calling my bluff - trying to get a rise out of me. I wanted to turn my car around and go buy that pack of cigarettes, but I forced my car home.

    When I got home, she was leaving. There was a note on the table - an apology, mostly to H.. Apparently, they had some strong words for one another in my absence. I don't even care if H yells at her, but I do wish he wouldn't use curse words. I just think that's stooping to her level and we shouldn't do that. ANYWAY. It's not so much about that right now...

    I will not smoke, I will not smoke, I will not smoke............
  2. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    ARGH .. High drama, followed by maddening semi-normalcy. been there done that. How about another drink instead of a smoke?! LOL
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    OMG Jo......I can soooooooo relate.

    I quit smoking 6 years ago and still think about it almost every day.

    I'm proud of you for not smoking. You go, girl!

  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like my house, before Miss KT moved out. I can so relate.

    Stay strong!
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm proud of you for not smoking. :D :D :D
  6. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    You don't want to do that because then you will only be angry with yourself and you don't want that. You will not smoke, you will not smoke. Eat a carrot, chew some gum. You can make it.

  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    You can do it -- it gets easier in time. We're pulling for you.
  8. stepmonster

    stepmonster New Member

    been there done that too, it's horrible, but you can do it. It's a very hard road, but it's worth it. I'm almost five years now and I miss it everyday. But, I will not, I will not go through quitting ever again.
    My gig was the four D's:
    -Deep Breathe
    -Drink Water
    -Do Something else

    Oh yeah, and I knew where all the sugar-free candy is!!!
    Oh, I thought of something else, it's kind of silly, but it REALLY helped me!! There is a line of computer games called SIM. My husband has a couple, sim city, sim tower, sim safari. I traded my addiction for awhile and numbed my self with those for a couple weeks. I truly think that got me through some stressful psychological withdrawals!!!!
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

  10. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Good for you!


    Wishing well!

  11. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I quite smoking, for good, about 13 1/2 years ago. I still miss it, at times. However, I don't miss spending the $ (nowadays $$$!) and the smell that permeates everything.

    For me, I made the decision that smoking is NOT AN OPTION UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Not one cigarette, not one puff, and not one drag.

    Throwing lot of cyber support your way. It's tough, but you will never regret it:thumbsup:.
  12. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Hope you are doing better. I quit in May of this year (cold turkey). You CAN do it.
  13. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    I've smokes and quit and smoked and quit more times than I can count. Mine is a stress level thing. I don't smoke a lot, but damn sure when I need it...I need it. I know that is a whimp way out. I've gone years without smoking, then stuff happens and I start again out of depression or anger. I know I need to find some other avenue to address these issues.

    I wish you the best. Next time you get the urge to stop at the PM Market, just email me and I'll do it for you. Ha!!

  14. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


  15. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    You will not smoke, you will not smoke, you will not smoke.

    Good for you Jo, for quitting.

    It's coming up on 15 years that I stopped. The first few weeks were the hardest, and then it got easier and easier with each passing day. Occasionally I would have a wicked-bad craving for one, but it would pass. I haven't had a craving in more than 10 years.

    You CAN do it! We're right here with you, rooting for you.
  16. VickiL

    VickiL New Member


    I too know how hard it is to quit. I quit when I was pregnant with both of my boys, but FINALLY quit, for good, on November 3, 2007 after 3 months on Chantix. I miss it at times and like you, mostly stressful times. And I still get that craving now and then...BUT, I feel so proud of myself and physically feel so much better since I quit. husband quit almost 7 years ago, but he smokes cigars now. Eeeewwww, I can't stand the smell, but he will go outside or to another room to smoke them. I can't believe how much my senses of smell and taste have come back. I can smell cigarette smoke a mile away now and everything tastes so much better!! And I love the fact that I smell good and that my hair smells good all of the time. It's the little things that I've noticed that are better in my life :)

    I'm rooting for you!!!! You can do this!!!!
  17. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    That reminds me...one of the coolest side effects I noticed when I quit smoking, about 2 weeks in...I completely changed colour. My skin used to have sallow and grey undertones, but after quitting I developed a rosy pink undertone that was quite lovely, and it has never gone away.

    You can do this Jo!