Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TerryJ2, Jul 29, 2008.
Wow. Me too.
I went to school with a girl who's mother was up to 14 or more. The girl took a poll at school to help Mom name it. All the kids had names starting with the letter T. Mom had run out of ideas for a name. sheesh I guess so!
How does one afford that many kids? I could understand it if you were a millionaire or something but most of the people who seem to do this arent. Look at those people who are on TV...the ones whose kids names all start with J. The Dugans or something like that. The dad seems to be doing ok but he isnt rich. I dont get it.
From Russia with Love????
At what number do you just squat and out comes baby?
I could never keep the names straight. I have a hard enough time with 2.
At no number do you just squat and out comes baby! I have had eight, and the births do not necessarily become easier, I can tell you from experience. Every labor is painful and long and difficult. It doesn't say there in the article that they are asking for handouts. People do all sorts of things to survive, maybe all the children when they reach the age of 10 or 11 or 12 do odd jobs, do babysitting, wash cars, all sorts of things, in order to help the parents and to help the family. In my opinion, that is very educational. Maybe their children just aren't used to having what other people think can't be done without. Maybe their children don't ask for things and know that they can't have everything. Obviously the clothes get handed down, and probably shoes too.
I have five married children, and on Saturday night one of my daughters-in-law had a baby girl, so now I have nineteen grandchildren. I cannot tell you how blessed I feel. I never asked for handouts. I was pregnant and carried on working, including doing extra jobs late at night at home (proofreading etc.) in order to pad out our income. We have never been able to make ends meet and have never been able to really spoil ourselves. We never ever have gone away for a holiday to a hotel. Compared to some, you would say our lives are quite spartan. So be it. Everyone chooses what he/she wants. I have chosen children (my difficult child is the youngest), and I am not sorry. I have my reasons for wanting to have a large family. Luckily, I live in an environment and in a country where very large families are one of the accepted norms.
I loved that picture of the family. I counted -- five children were not in the photo!
If I had been able to have more children, I would have.
Just my two cents worth.
I know, I get all discombobulated and call my son by the dog's name, and the dog gets excited and wants to go outside every time we go out for coffee. (That's what we get for naming him Starbucks. The dog, not my son.) I also call my son by my husband's name when I'm angry with-him. Freud would have something to say about that.
My husband and I were talking the other day about a guy at the gym, named J*sus. (I'm not even sure if I can type it here.) We were thinking that could be problematic. "J*sus! You wet your bed AGAIN!"
And you could never tell him to go to h*ll.
I would think you'd have the same issue with-Islam, since everyone is named Muhammed.
Hmm. Names that start with-a T. You'd have to start delving into foreign languages or animal names ... Turtle, Tiger, Tyrannasaurus (that would be my difficult child).
Esther, you are an angel.
And, having only given birth to one, which was enough to make me adopt the 2nd time, your note is confirmation that I did the right thing.
Some of us are just not made of the right stuff (I would probably have had 9 mo's of bedrest and a C-section.)
I, too, thought it got easier with-more births. There were 5 in my family and my mom could never answer that question because she was heavily sedated ea time. That's what they did in the Olden Days.
Janet - The American family with all the kids also have zero debt. Their house is paid for, they paid cash for their vehicle, etc. They live frugally and manage a lifestyle all of us should have - debt free. Kudos to them.
Esther - I don't think anyone here was suggesting that that family was asking for handouts. Just knowing how expensive it is to raise 2 kids, I can't imagine how expensive it is to raise 18. I guess you become an expert at being thrifty and managing money - making every penny count.
If I hadn't married a difficult child, and had difficult child kids, I would have loved to have more kids... but it's just too hard.
It was shortly after the birth of #3 that #1 got his first diagnosis and I was highly suspicious of #2 -- and of course I'd known for a looong time that husband had issues, but I was in de-ni-al. And that's right around the time of my little breakdown!
Sadly, not all of us are blessed with genes for mental stability...
Our neighbor when easy child was born had at least 12 kids, her 10th or 11th was born months apart from easy child. The oldest 2 were adopted, but the rest were natural. I remember talking to her before she had the one that is the age of easy child how she had asked her doctor to give her fertility drugs so she could have twins, her doctor told her he thought that would unethical. They didn't want to stop at a uneven number. Dad was a gym teacher a local Christian school and Mom was a NICU nurse at the children's hospital - which is where she adopted the 2 older kids from. All of the kids went to the Christian school. I remember not knowing how they could manage that many kids. It was amazing how well their house ran - each child knew what their responsibility was.
I could only read the first 1.5 paragraphs...it is just too much to take in. It is interesting how years ago families had much larger families and were able to cope well. I did some research on this not too long ago and families today having larg (er) families tend to be religious ones. So, faith seems to play a factor. In addition, these moms told me that older siblings tend to help out and often children help one another. I think if you have a true difficult child in the mix, it will get MUCH harder. Throw in two difficult children...well, you could get chaos. by the way, I had a friend (she moved) with seven children. She had the money to get nearly full time help. During the early years, she did very well. But as she got older and some of her kids entered their teen years, her stress level hit the roof and many days (not always) it was obvious it took everything she had to keep it together. I do think these things are a lot more possible when there are no difficult children, lots of good health, at least a little extra money available , lots of extra helping hands (support) as well as the obvious stuff... lots of love...good attitude/sense of humor/faith. This seems like a talll order...but I suppose it could be done.
Funny that this should come up today. Was having a similiar conversation last night with friends. My husband came from a family of nine kids which is hard enough for me to keep track of all the extended family that way, however his mom was the oldest of 21. That was not as long ago as you would think either. I haven't even met a lot of his aunts and uncles. Just isn't a venue large enough for get togethers.
I didnt mean to imply that anyone was taking handouts or that it cant be done or that people with fewer kids are picking material things over kids.
I had three kids and we were darn near dirt poor. They sure didnt have many things they didnt need. I dont think we could have afforded more which is why I stopped. Probably should have stopped sooner really.
My SO and my dad grew up in really large families which were very poor. My SO in what would be called Apalachia in a family of 6 and my Dad in the depression in a family of 8. They loved being part of a big family.
I found this on a google search. So........now she doesn't seem like she has so many. SEVEN SETS of QUADS? -
I can see reality TV now - "Quick get rid of John and Kate plus 8" we have "Natasha and Feodor plus 69". NOW THERE is a show I would have watched!
It said in Google:
The greatest officially recorded number of children born to one mother is 69, to the wife of Feodor Vassilyev, a peasant from Shuya, Russia. In a total of 27 confinements between 1725 and 1765, she gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of quadruplets (the greatest number of multiple births in one family). Only two of the children failed to survive their infancy.
So basically, the woman never had just one kid.
She always had multiples.
And its a medical miracle that in the 1700s a woman could have birthed multiples, with the lack of medical knowledge and technology back then.
The world's most prolific living mother is believed to be Leontina Albina from San Antonio, Chile, who reproduced her 55th and last child in 1981. Her husband stated that they were married in Argentina in 1943 and had five sets of triplets (all boys) before moving to Chile. Her husband had 18 more children with a second wife.
In Canada depending on your income level there is a monthly cheque for all children under the age of 18. It's not just a little bit of money either, I just received my July Child Tax Credit for my one son it's $277.66. So, if a person had 18 children all under the age of 18 they would get a monthly cheque in the amount of $4,997.88. An annual income of just under $60,000.00!!! without having to step out the door each morning to go to work.
I have known a large number of very large (eight or more) kids. I just sat here naming them in my head by family. Very often the larger the family the younger the older kids helped out or got jobs, and the more organized and less cluttered the house was.
I am amazed to know that now, with 3 kids, many people think that I have a "lot" of kids. I grew up in a Catholic school and MOST of my friends had 3 or more siblings, of my classmates. When my youngest was born, difficult child's doctor had already told me she would abort if she had 1 child as difficult as difficult child and was pregnant. Then difficult child's other docs (not pediatrician, but tdocs and psychiatrists) all got together and told me he NEEDED to be an only child.
Who decided that and what was it based on??? In the larger families, the kids all seemed to work together more - especially the older ones. But, alas, this was NOT my difficult child's dynamic. All the other difficult children in our extended family (as far as I can see) are either youngest or 1 of 2 sibs - never ever the oldest. But my son has to be himself, and we love him anyway.
As the youngest of 2 kids, I was always fascinated by my friends siblings - older and younger. And of the ones I became re-acquainted with as an adult, MOST of htem have MORE kids than their parents - very strange for urban US, as far as I have ever seen.
Families are cool, aren't they? Even when they drive you nuts, they are still fascinating!
Esther - you are a QUEEN among women. I've known that for a long time now.
I love big families and used to think I would love having 10 kids! I have 42 first cousins, two families of 11 kids each. I used to work with a woman who was one of 17!
I'm another one that would have had a big family if circumstances had been different ... settled for two. I got a late start and was amost 30 with the first and almost 35 with the second. Had we been able to afford it and if my marriage had been more stable, I would have had more kids.
Esther, I admire you so much for raising such a large, wonderful family! My kids went to school with kids that were from a really huge family ... thirteen children and the first twelve were all boys! When #13 was a little girl, they called it quits. There was one of their kids in just about every grade - one of the older boys graduated with my daughter. This family raised 13 kids in a double-wide mobile home! They are very religious but not fanatical. They all did very well in school, were decently dressed, all polite, well mannered and respectful. You never heard of one of their kids being in any kind of trouble. The older ones helped with the younger ones. In their case, I think it helped them by taking on responsibilities, helping out where needed, and not being showered with material things. The one who graduated with my daughter works where I do now, and is doing very well. He's married and has three kids of his own now (all girls!) and you won't find a nicer young man anywhere!
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