Ick....ugly day yesterday

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Jun 24, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Against doctor's orders I crawled upstairs yesterday ~ I wanted to see the work done in my upstairs bathroom. Well I also found that kt had trashed the entire upstairs. Clothes from the top of the stairs, thru the upstairs sitting area & into her room.

    I couldn't tell what was clean & what wasn't. :2dissapointed::embarrassed: I'm running a/c like crazy to keep the upstairs cool so kt can sleep; the workers stay cool & the like. No less than 6 windows open. :angrygirl::stopglass:

    Suffice it to say I closed the windows - took the stairs back down on my bum & called Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker (couldn't come in to work with kt); then called PCA who can come in when kt isn't here & clean her area & do her laundry.

    Well on the way to getting the upstairs cleaned & her bedroom empty of nasty dirty dishes (she's sneaking downstairs during the night to get food) kt came home & flipped. In fact it scared the big burly plumbers & the carpenter. (What wusses!)

    I stated a few facts to her & let her scream it out. About the time I was going to call crisis line kt broke down & cried. "I miss daddy" After an hour long cry with my daughter the 3 of us started working together (me on laundry) PCA & kt upstairs. Done in a couple of hours (except laundry) & I sent kt out with PCA to see a movie.

    Today kt is bringing a friend home (along with PCA) & they are hanging out in the cool upstairs (likely karaoke) & I found an old version of the board Dating Game. It's a hoot to play.

    kt made her bed this morning, started the sprinklers for me & headed out to school in a good mood. :whew:

    The level of emotions along with construction is driving me close to a breakdown. :919Mad::slap:
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Wow. How much longer untill the construction is done? It would be good to solve one issue, and that seems to be the most likely.
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am truly impressed once again by how you handled this.
    The mess alone would have sent me over the edge, let alone all of the windows open!
    It is nice that you were all able to work together to get things picked up.
    I hope you did not over do it healthwise to yourself?
    It seems like this is all coming out in little bursts and fits for KT, missing her Dad and the emotional impact of it all. It is still good that it is coming out.
    She really is mature is many ways. (Not all) ;)
  4. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    Your level of stress must be high enough to reach the clouds. I deal with the AC/window problem too. In my case, for some reason the AC doesn't reach one room upstairs even when all the up stair bedroom doors are shut, so my teen will open his window (thankfully he only has 1 window in his room). I don't really mind when he is home...but he leaves it open all the time he is gone, in rain, always. I am seriously considering getting a small window AC unit just for his room. I was wondering if that would help you as well? Of course, he would leave it on when he was gone, ugh. I'd be forever shutting it off and you can't do the stairs so maybe not. I am wishing the remodelling goes amazingly fast and you can get your house back a bit.
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2009
  5. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    Been there done that with construction! I don't envy you, but very much hope it's almost over. It's amazing what we can deal with isn't it? I hope today is a better day!! At least the plumbers know not to mess with you!!!

  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Isn't it more than possible that she uses the "I miss Daddy card" when she wants you to get off her case? Sure sounds like it to me. As a Board family member I think she's taking advantage of your weaknesses which causes me concern since you have your own health battle to cope with.
    Sending hugs. DDD
  7. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Linda, I was kind of wondering the same thing as DDD. I know she really does miss her dad terribly and has a lot to work through, but is it possible that she could sometimes be using it as an excuse for bad behavior?
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a horrible day, I'm sorry it was so rough. Glad she was in a better mood this morning. I hope your construction is done soon!!
  9. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    There is no doubt manipulation comes into play with both of the tweedles ~ that's one of the "big" Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) things. Was I being manipulated ~ at this point I'm not the one to ask.

    PCA was here & she felt it was very real emotion. The hard part was the acting out before expressing what was really going on ~ more like a toddler on my hands & then kt snapped back to kt.

    I have to tell you that at this time, it's all hit & miss with kt. I've let all the pros that I'm in over my head with her right now. Risk management SW informed me that even thu I'm not feeling very effective what I've done to date seems to be making a big impact. If it weren't kt would be running or out on the streets ~ she's got many kids like kt that are out there.

    In the end kt used her self calming & did the work. I never expected her to complete the entire mess herself or with-o supervision - it would have never happened.

    Hit & miss.
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    There has never been a New York minute that I didn't sincerely believe that you have consistently done an awesome job in your efforts to bring the kids into the normal life range. Not one.

    on the other hand, from personal experience, I know that parental health often is put on the back burner when a needy child expresses needs. As a result I often
    share with you my thoughts that focus on making yourself the number one issue so you will be healthier and more functional for a longer period in the
    lives of your family.

    by the way, kids who have no serious issues manipulate for their own benefit all the time. I was "a delightful child" :redface: and I recall having sudden stomach aches,headaches, and stories of peer rejection when it was "my turn" to wash the dishes etc. etc. My big sister would say in exasperation "Mom, she is just trying to get out of work!" My Mom would opt to comfort me. Although I felt a little bit guilty...I still did it when I could. DDD