IEP tomorrow

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, May 2, 2013.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Tomorrow morning is difficult child's annual IEP at the new school. I have spoken with her teachers and so far they say she is doing well despite her missing so much school due to her ulcers. Unfortunately we have other issues to be addressed like her coming in to the office when I'm around and going to the nurse's office too much. difficult child already missed two days this week due to her throwing up and not feeling good. I tried my hardest to make her go to school because usually once she throws up she feels better. But she argued and cried and refused to get in the car so I let her stay home so I could go to work on time. Today I convinced her to go to school. Right away she said she felt ill before her first class and wanted to go home. I told her she needed to tough it out and make it to class. During first period she felt sick and got released to go to the nurse's office. In the nurse's bathroom she threw up. Afterward she came to my office and cried that she wanted to go home. I took her to the nurse's office to see if I could get her help in getting her to go back to class. The nurse couldn't convince her to go, so I called the school psychiatric and asked him if he could talk to her. He had a talk to difficult child and convinced her to go back to her first class. But come break time, difficult child was back in my office crying and begging me to go home again.

    She kept arguing with me until my supervisor finally yelled at her to get back to class. So difficult child huffed off and left. Then my supervisor apologized to me and told me she was only being the bad guy cause she wanted to help me out. She said she knows I must be frustrated at having difficult child disrupt my work and argue with me. So she figured her stepping in and getting difficult child to listen would help. And I really am grateful for it because I am the last person difficult child will listen to. So difficult child goes to her second class, and within fifteen minutes she is back in my office asking to go home. I tell her if she is really feeling sick she needs to go back to the nurse's office and not disrupt me in my office. So she goes in to the nurse's office and a few minutes later I have the nurse plus the assistant principal in charge of special education come up to my desk. They say difficult child is in the office crying loud and uncontrollably begging to go home. The nurse tells me she thinks difficult child isn't really sick enough to go home. The assistant principal tells me she can no longer come to my office for any reason, including break time, and before school. She tells me we will discuss a game plan tomorrow on how to handle difficult child when she comes to the nurse's office wanting to go home. We are going to have the first part of the IEP without difficult child, and after we figure out a game plan we will be calling her out of class to tell her the new rules.

    I am hoping we can all come up with something that will work. I don't know what to do anymore. I never thought moving difficult child to my school would be this hard. I hope difficult child will follow the new rules and give not give me too many problems, but she is a difficult child so I am keeping that in mind and hoping for a decent outcome. So wish me luck tomorrow. In general I dread IEP's but now that she is at my school I am dreading this one the most.
  2. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    At least the situation with the supervisor has seemed to approve and they aren't blaming this behavior on *you*. Even though its a negative situation it sounds much better then it did!
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Yes I feel better with my supervisor on my side. Now the principal wants to meet with me before I leave work today to discuss some things. Hopefully I'm not in too much trouble.
  4. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I agree that the supervisor stepping in was a good thing. You know that difficult child doesn't listen to you when you tell her to go back to class, so adding a different voice of authority, can only help.

    How did the IEP meeting go today?
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh gosh, hope things are ok. I simply would never consider working in a school where my child attends. I know we discussed it before she moved, but I worry if you disagree with their ideas on her iep.

    What will you do if they want to move her?

    I'm hoping they will have some ideas for positive rewards for appropriate behavior...

    In the mean time, if she is really sick.....whatever the treatment plan's not working. What does the doctor say? Frequent throwing up is not good either. There must be options.......

    I'm so sorry for the challenges. There are solutions, it may take a while but you are a fighter.
  6. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    Good luck today CB! I hope it goes well!
  7. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    IEP went okay. We discussed her attendance, or lack thereof, and I was recommended to go to family therapy with difficult child to get her to come to school more. The nurse was there and we came up with a game plan that if difficult child is sick, she can have an aide walk her directly up to the nurse's office without stopping by my office and she can throw up in the trash can. She will not be allowed to vomit in the restroom any longer due to the fact that we need to make sure she is not faking to get out of class, and if she does throw up the doctor says we need to monitor what color it is. Brown or red could indicate a bleeding ulcer so we need to check and see what it looks like. After difficult child gets throws up she tends to be okay for the rest of the day. The school nurse agreed that if she doesn't have a temp, she will be allowed to rest in the nurse's office for fifteen minutes then she will be escorted back to class by either the school psychologist or the assistant principal. If she throws a tantrum like she did the other day, they will provide a safe room for her to calm down. As far as academically they say she is doing okay but her attendance needs to improve in order for her to complete assignments. She is struggling more in her elective classes than in her academic ones. She is taking art and ceramics and both classes require a lot of note taking. Writing is one big huge struggle for difficult child so the school psychiatric is going to look into getting her an alpha smart so she can type instead of write. It was also discussed that difficult child will no longer be allowed in my office at all for any reason. She was pulled out of class today and the school psychiatric plus the assistant principal explained the new rules to her. The psychologist told us all to be prepared for difficult child to fight the new rules for awhile. He says it will probably take a few weeks for her to get the picture that we are serious and we won't back down. So he told me to not give up if she does not follow the rules right away. So I am prepared for a fight and we will see how it goes. It's going to be a long ways till summer.
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If she is struggling that badly with writing, an alphasmart isn't going to do it (sorry, been there done that) - at least not as a primary means. She can use that for whatever she CAN capture, but she needs a "note-taking service". They do that here (and we are NOT lavish with services)... there is an aide in the class who takes notes every day, and each child who needs the note-taking service gets a copy (sometimes it's a kid who's off sick for two weeks, because the notes help the home-bound teacher keep kid on pace with the rest of the class... it's not all IEP kids). It's one of the accommodations that had the biggest impact for difficult child... because it isn't just about the "writing"... it's about managing "input" and "output" at the same time... and some kids just cannot listen and take good notes, at the same time.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Sounds like they are going to back you up, that's great!
    I Was worried she might be making herself vomit some of the times, sounds smart to say they have to check it so use the can....

    I have ulcers and I'm sick and in intense sweaty pain when I is like hot pokers. I wouldn't be fine after but I know everyone is different.
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Have they given her antibiotics for the ulcers? Or if they don't want to do that, tested her for the bacteria that causes them? The cause of the ulcers is usually a bacteria that is very treatable and it does NOT take years to treat. That might go a LONG way to solving these issues so she hasn't got the pain and the excuse. I am more than aware that there are a small percentage of people who get ulcers for other reasons as I fought them for years due to overuse of NSAID medications. I was taking them as prescribed but had a doctor who didn't really care that they caused ulcers, at least not enough to warn any of his patients about this or to give any medications for the stomach issues. Mine were NOT bacterial, but most are. If you don't have another easily visible cause (and generally stress is a contributing factor but NOT the root cause - makes it worse but something else is usually the cause) then at least around here the general treatment is to give the course of antibiotics and proton pump inhibitors (prilosec, prevacid, etc..).

    You also need to ask ehr doctor for an rx for carafate tablets. It is okay to take them as tablets with a lot of liquid, and you used to have to dissolve them in water before takng them. It is the best medication in many ways because it creates a barrier between the stomach and the acid (or close enough to that) and it is very very effective at helping protect and heal ulcers and the early signs of them as well as the later treatment of them. It is available in generic in the tablet form, but not the liquid form. The name is sucralfate for the generic. It is also used for anyone with a hyperacidic stomach after a virus or similar bout of stomach problems. I don't know many who have not had huge relief from it.

    I like that they will not let her into your office. Your supervisor did a good thing and I am glad she was helpful. It is over and above, so maybe a small thank you would be nice and keep you on her good side.

    If she has these fits often, ask them for an FBA and a BIP. Functional behavior assessment and positive beihavior intervention plan. These are tools to help keep her from getting to that point of tantrum. It is going to be a tough few weeks, and you are going to have to ignore her if she won't leave when you tell her to. Call for help and then just pretend she is not there until they get her out. Go about yoru business because arguing with her, listening to her, etc.... rewards the behavior.
  11. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Great advice as usual Susie. I do think she said they tested and it's not bacterial darn. My esophageal ones aren't stinks.
  12. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Glad the IEP went well. Your school really seems to be working with you.