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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 729472" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am sorry you are sad. Your daughter caused this though. She is 35 and nobody, including you, is required to house a drug addicTed adult who chose a man over her kids.</p><p></p><p>About the kids. Is the father around? Does daughter collect child support? I am wondering if the kids could live under one roof with Dad?</p><p></p><p>I am sure your daughter can be nice but it sounds like she has been pampered like a child and not made to work,sustain herself and kids, and stand on her own two feet. This is important because none of you will live forever. She WILL be on her own. Nobody is obligated to take her in. Many of us have or had homeless adult kids. There comes a point when they in my opinion should face the consequences of bad decisions, and she made one BAD decision!!!.</p><p></p><p>My daughter did drugs and we made her leave at 19. She got straight and is now 34 with a boyfriend of twelve years, a three year old princess, her own house, a two year degree, etc. It was very hard for us to make her leave but she sure learned to grow up fast. She is totally independent now.</p><p></p><p>I suggest counseling to help you stop thinking of your daughter as your little girl. She is close to middle age and you are probably getting too old to be s stressed. Many of us need to stop seeing our adult kids as children.</p><p></p><p>I think it's a terrible idea to leave your husband for grown daughter. He in my opinion is a priority now and will be there when daughter is not. He is very reasonable to not want your addicted daughter living with you. You may want to give her addresses of shelters and food pantries. It is time for her to do things herself and not rely on elderly grandmother, aunt's and parents. You can not take care of her forever. I would stop listening to sisters. You are not a bad mother at all. If anything you are TOO involved. </p><p></p><p>Sounds like maybe your family gets overly involved in everyone's business? You are grown up too and dont need to please them. Your mother had every right to sell her house. Your daughter being on a pedestal like a young child will hurt her...she needs to have ar realistic view of herself. If not she may think she is helpless to take care of herself.</p><p></p><p>Love and hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 729472, member: 1550"] I am sorry you are sad. Your daughter caused this though. She is 35 and nobody, including you, is required to house a drug addicTed adult who chose a man over her kids. About the kids. Is the father around? Does daughter collect child support? I am wondering if the kids could live under one roof with Dad? I am sure your daughter can be nice but it sounds like she has been pampered like a child and not made to work,sustain herself and kids, and stand on her own two feet. This is important because none of you will live forever. She WILL be on her own. Nobody is obligated to take her in. Many of us have or had homeless adult kids. There comes a point when they in my opinion should face the consequences of bad decisions, and she made one BAD decision!!!. My daughter did drugs and we made her leave at 19. She got straight and is now 34 with a boyfriend of twelve years, a three year old princess, her own house, a two year degree, etc. It was very hard for us to make her leave but she sure learned to grow up fast. She is totally independent now. I suggest counseling to help you stop thinking of your daughter as your little girl. She is close to middle age and you are probably getting too old to be s stressed. Many of us need to stop seeing our adult kids as children. I think it's a terrible idea to leave your husband for grown daughter. He in my opinion is a priority now and will be there when daughter is not. He is very reasonable to not want your addicted daughter living with you. You may want to give her addresses of shelters and food pantries. It is time for her to do things herself and not rely on elderly grandmother, aunt's and parents. You can not take care of her forever. I would stop listening to sisters. You are not a bad mother at all. If anything you are TOO involved. Sounds like maybe your family gets overly involved in everyone's business? You are grown up too and dont need to please them. Your mother had every right to sell her house. Your daughter being on a pedestal like a young child will hurt her...she needs to have ar realistic view of herself. If not she may think she is helpless to take care of herself. Love and hugs. [/QUOTE]
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