if we have no iep meeting before school starts...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Aug 16, 2009.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    do I send him on the first day>?

    There is an iep. It is questionable in nature. I am not even certain that the copy I have is the actual copy on file at school. I have at least 3 copies of the same IEP with different info in them...from being given the wrong ones...and figuring it out by asking the SpEd director questions about things missing in my copy that were in hers...

    I do not know what their plan is. The director wasn't even sure, on Friday, if there even was a plan, other than what they were doing last year. The SpEd teacher won't be back until late Tuesday, at best. The idea of having a meeting on Tuesday is off. She most likely won't be back until Wednesday.

    I am still pretty angry about this. When wee difficult child went to the early intervention preschool, with the highly trained teachers there, he was a model student. That teacher wanted him mainstreamed with an aid "for a while". The district refused the aid 3 years ago...he was going to have to fail before they would give him the aid. I'm going to schedule a meeting with the SpedDirector and remind her of this. They have bucked me for 3 years now...and back then, we were pretty sure he would only need a part time aid for a few months to fall into the routine of school after coming out of the early intervention school... Yet, the individual that worked with him, even then, was the key...we sent him to summer school and it failed miserably. Private school worked til the 2 teachers that could work with him weren't available...then that fell apart. What more evidence do they need? (sorry, preaching to the choir, I know).
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2009
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    When is the first day of school?

    I know it's not great for your kid, but in your shoes, I'd send him the first day. It's not your problem to provide FAPE. It's theirs. They don't have a plan. Their problem. Let them see that it's in their best interests to come up with a plan PDQ.

    Hugs. I can only imagine how hard this is for you and difficult child.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?


    Short of a miracle, there will be no meeting prior to school starting.

    I am all for sending him except he's had such a good summer, and I do NOT want to start him off on the wrong foot and ruin the great attitude he has with deja vu... As far as I know, his paras will be the same two...including the not so great one.

    And while they need to get it...I don't want it to be at his expense.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Then I'd call your state Department of Education and complain. There's no excuse for not having a temporary plan until the final plan can be put into place.
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hey! I'd pop this onto the Special Education forum as well if I were you. Marty and Sheila have a lot of great insight on these types of situations!

    Talk to you later!

  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You know Shari, there are a lot of factors that could change the answer to your question.

    Certainly that IEP meeting should have been held before school even let in June. You are in a tough spot.

    Sending your son to school without proper supports in place is risky. One of the posters replied that you should send him because it's not your responsibility to provide FAPE. I agree in theory, but in reality, there is much at risk.

    The beginning of the school year can set the mood for the remainder of the year. Starting out on the wrong foot could affect not only his attitude, but his anxiety level. Having confidence at the beginning is a big key to our difficult children.

    Let me ask you this; what is difficult child thinking about school starting? Is he excited? If difficult child is in a positive state of mind, I would definately call the DOE for your state, let them know what is going on (following up with an email that cc's your school prinicipal), then I would call the principal and say, "I am sending my son to school, against my better judgement, without a valid IEP. I have contacted the DOE so they have a record of the brick walls I've been hitting trying to get difficult child the services he is entitled to according to the law. I would suggest that he have a para with him at all times until we have an opportunity to sit down and write the new IEP. Should you not be able to provide that for my son, I will put him on a modified day so that he can have a record of success to begin this new school year. I expect no attendance ramifications on this decision. I expect our IEP meeting to be held by Friday. I am available before, during, and after school hours for this meeting."

    You can make this an email if you want rather than a conversation. I'm just saying that this is what I would do. I would make it so my son had a most positive experience at teh beginning even if it meant him just having a half day. Sometimes our kids struggle much more in the afternoon.

    My main concern would be my difficult child. To heck with the principal, the school system, the Special Education director. They are there to educate and serve your son.

    Lesson to be learned for you. Never, ever, ever leave a meeting without a signed copy of your IEP. If it's a planning meeting, never leave without a list of the attendees, notes and signatures. Never, ever, ever leave empty handed!! If you don't agree with the IEP and don't sign off on it, still get a copy with the other signatures minus yours on it. Before you attend this meeting, you type of a list of your concerns and suggestions and request they be added to the parent input section of the IEP notes. Make notes on their replies (excuses) to your requests and have that copy be the official attachment. I do that every time. That way they have a record of what I wanted to discuss or what I was asking for, and hand written notes as to what their replies (excuses) might have been as part of the official record.

    Another suggestion. I am thinking it might be a good idea to request a copy of difficult child's official records. It's always a good thing to have a look in there and see whats whats.

    Sorry this is so lengthy. Getting a 1:1 is a really toughy subject with me. My difficult child would never have survived school if a wonderful team of teachers and administrators stood behind the 1:1 request five years ago.

  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Sharon has made some excellent points, and I wholeheartedly agree with her. But rather than an email or phone call (because Martie and Sheila always advise against modes of communication), I'd hand deliver a letter to the principal today detailing your expectations for your difficult child. Your difficult child deserves a plan that will work for him.
  8. Christy

    Christy New Member

    So sorry for all the stress this is causing you! The first day of school is an exciting time for most parents but for difficult child parents it can be a huge source of anxiety.

    I would try YET AGAIN to get someone to talk to you about a plan prior to school starting. Maybe going to the school in person and asking to see the principal. If he refuses to see you, state that it absolutely necessary that you meet with him prior to the start of school. Still no meeting, go over his head and file a complait with the school board and department of education.

    I know that you don't want to start difficult child off on the wrong foot but it is unlikely that things will fall into place at this late date and I think it is important for him to be a part of the beginning days of school. Otherwise, he'll miss out on all the class rules, routines, procedure for putting things away, getting to know each other activities, etc... and it will add to his discomfort level. Unless you are concerned for his safety, I'd send him. I would also write a note saying that you expect that difficult child will be going a full day and riding the bus home. Call or email the teacher on the first day and ask to meet with her/him as soon as possible. Should difficult child get into any trouble, state that you feel he needs additional adult suppoort in the classroom and would benefit from a 1:1.

    Good luck!
  9. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! When did you request the initial IEP review? They only have 60 days to have the meeting.

    Also, when was his annual review due? Did you have one?

    They could be in violation of the IEP.

    Just a thought!

  10. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Beth, there is an IEP. A month ago, I asked to get the meetings planned for this school year and never received a reply.

    16 days before school started, when I still had heard nothing, I requested a meeting to review/dispute/discuss the current IEP. Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought they only had 10 days to pull that meeting together because I was addressing a specific issue in the IEP. 10 days has long passed. And maybe I'm wrong.

    Sharon, that is exactly my concern. The first few days could make or break the whole good run that difficult child has going. He is excited for school...he popped up this morning thinking this was the first day, but its not. I dont' want him to miss the first day, but I want the first day to be planned for, or it won't be good.

    I thought about not sending him. That's not fair to him. So I think I will send him and I will go with him. They relied on me as his para last year... If they suddenly have a plan and tell me to leave, I will refuse until I know what that plan is AND approve of it. That's my thought as of this morning. And I think I'll modify your letter just a bit to say I'll be bringing him and send it. Thanks.

    An added kicker...we went to OK yesterday to get another recommendation from the 2nd opinion DevPed there. On the way there, last year's SpEd teacher called me. She had been accussed of not turning in a signature sheet that she knew I had a copy of. She was also trying to make a schedule for the paras for her incoming kids and she wanted to know if I knew what the plan was for wee difficult child. She has been trying to get info from the new SpEd teacher, to no avail. And the SpEd Director had JUST told her they'd been in contact with me all summer. NO ONE has talked to her about wee difficult child (how can they have much of a plan if they have not talked to the one person on the staff that actually knew him!)

    She at least extended the offer to come in with wee difficult child and use her room as we did last year on the first day so that he can at least be a part. She is also very concerned about the setup to fail.

    So in addition, I am going to print a copy of all of my emails to the school this summer, and all of their replies. I am also going to print out my phone records, which show the number of incoming calls, and highlight the school. May not need it, but it might be good to have.
  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree Sheri, gather all that supporting paperwork - a warrior mom is always forearmed!