If you had a magic wand

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by house of cards, Oct 24, 2008.

  1. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    I hate stealing, hate it, hate it, hate it.

    If you had a magic wand what 1 behavior would you use it for to change in your difficult child?
  2. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Only one behavior??? Since I wouldn't be able to pinpoint just one bad decision she makes I would have to say I would change her disrespectful attitude. I would stop her from cursing myself and my family out on a daily basis. Her mouth is horrible, she says disgusting mean things to all of us.

    When you find a magic wand that works - let me know. :)
  3. Pookybear66

    Pookybear66 New Member

    I think I broached this subject a week or two ago. I would not necessarily change a bad behavior because my ds is mostly good. But when he gets frustrated he yells and that is just getting to me.

    I think what I would do for him is make it so that reading came easily for him. That way he wouldn't get so frustrated and I would be done with the whole "learning problem thing" which is the biggest headache for me. Even if he does get diagnosis'd with something additional, I think it won't be so bad as we've been through the worst when he was born. I have to keep remembering it's mostly downhill after that. 10 more years and maybe he can do it on his own by himself.
  4. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    The non-stop haranguing when she doesn't like the answer. Hours and hours of the same argument, even if I don't engage. If I leave, she just starts when I get back. I guess you could say I found my magic wand -- she doesn't live here any more so I don't have to hear it and it is a huge relief.

    Oddly, I hated the lying and stealing but I understood it. Had I known then what I know today, I would have handled it differently. I would have made her pay for the thefts, apologize to those from whom she stole and made them do a chore for them but I wouldn't have punished more than that. For the lying, I did get the message and quit asking questions. I would simply state what I knew and here were the consequences for those facts. If I was wrong and she had truly not done whatever, I would simply say I was sorry that she got an unfair consequence but that's what happens when you do things you shouldn't. It really did stop a lot of the lying since it was obvious I was not going to listen.

    I just ignored the disrespect. She walked in the door with the attitude and it nevr went away. We did have a quarter jar for all curse words, regardless of who said them or why. Since my kid loved money, she rarely cursed, even to this day.
  5. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    My difficult child hits the walls and/or breaks things when he's angry/frustrated. There's at least one hole in every wall of his room. We live in an old house and the wallboard is old and thinner than new so you can put a hole in it pretty easily. I refuse to fix any of them until he's moved out so may be years yet. He doesn't do it as much as he used to, but he still does. Now it's mostly hitting the wall or throwing his computer mouse when he gets mad playing a video game. husband does the same thing and I haven't been able to get him to stop, and I say to him how am I supposed to teach difficult child not to do that when you do the same thing? difficult child is becoming better at controlling himself than husband. I wish husband had gotten some therapy when he was younger.
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    For N I would say it is her Anxiety that makes her obsess over things for a long time. You can see how hard it is on her. It makes me so sad to watch her.
    Even tonight, we have our Fall Festival for School, she has been obsessing for over a week about the *games* they have like the obstacle course, she is scared, but wants so badly to win a prize. SO we will work through this with her tonight and show her it is OK.... but it will start all over again with something else.

    For K, I wish I could slow the Chaos down in her head. The racing thoughts, the confusion, the hallucinations all add to it. She has too much in that little head of hers at such a young age...
    Her teacher has been having one of the really troubled G'sFG (T) stay with her at lunch in the class, she invites another child to come as well. They in turn get to invite one friend. SO it is 4 total. It is supposed to be *fun* not make T feel bad. She used K as the *good* difficult child example!!!
    But K said to me last night, I hope I can always go to Miss. T's class at lunch, because it helps keep my head calm... less (she grabbed her head and shook it all over making a blaech sound)! She said it was better for her, less noise.

    I am SO glad she see these things, but if I could take away just a little bit of the chaos I would....
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Oh yeah and I would Make myself HOT and I would be able to eat CHOCOLATE all day long....
    I would end DEBT!!! I would give everyone Health Insurance, Call it socialized if you want....
    Promote research on all nuerological Brain disorders. blah blah blah...
  8. Woofens

    Woofens New Member

    I would stop the violence. No more hitting, kicking, be it someone or the walls, etc. Scares me now more than ever.
  9. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I would wave that magic wand and both my difficult children would be able to regulate their emotions. When something is hard, or frustrating, or if they do not get their way, they could be upset but not scream, cry, and destroy property.

    My life, and theirs too, would be so much more peaceful and productive.
  10. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I like Totoro's wishes better than mine. Especially the chocolate eating hot chick!!!! lol :)
  11. maril

    maril New Member

    Oh, man! The guys in my house have the same problem... :angry-very: I grew up around a houseful of tempermental and strong-willed guys, too. Anybody see a pattern with me? LOL.

    As far as if I had a magic wand . . . I would get rid of difficult children insecurity and replace it with self-confidence.
  12. Jena

    Jena New Member

    If that wand could be used for me, it would be lotto!! Yet that wasn't your questions, was it?? lol

    For difficult child, i would take her anxiety away. Than i'd handle the rest.


    good question to throw out
  13. wethreepeeps

    wethreepeeps New Member

    I would give him about ten more IQ points so that he had a better chance to gain the skills to live independently someday. The anger he at least has a chance of outgrowing someday, but a borderline IQ is going to be a problem the rest of his life.
  14. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    The violence. Absolutely the violence.
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The violence! If I had one other to pick (which I know I don't) I too, would give difficult child about 10 more IQ points, who knows, maybe that would help with his violence?
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    The violence and constant, underlying agitation and anger.

    I would wisk the wand in front of him and have him smile and be happy all day.

    I could deal with-the mild Learning Disability (LD), the "not getting it," the know-it-all attitude, and general argumentativeness if he were just being impish. :)
  17. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    It's not a behavior but I would make Duckie healthy because it's compounded every problem we've had.
  18. Feeling Helpless

    Feeling Helpless Oldie but Goodie

    If I had a magic wand I would take away my difficult child's anger and frustration and make him a happy little boy.
  19. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    Thanks for your answers, it was interesting to see how our difficult child's can have different issues yet share much in common.
  20. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Coming in late, but...I would like Miss KT to treat people with more respect and caring.