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If you have personality disorders in your family, including difficult child...
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 628760" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Good point, COM. </p><p></p><p>**************</p><p></p><p>MWM, in the fullness of time, your sister will come back. They always do. But it doesn't matter whether she does or not. </p><p></p><p>This is not about her.</p><p></p><p>This time of self discovery is your gift to yourself, MWM.</p><p></p><p>I think it is more important for you to become firmly rooted in this new identity that is opening for you as you choose to let go of the roles you were forced into in your family of origin than it is for you to tell your sister how your feelings for her have changed. </p><p></p><p>It just isn't about her, MWM.</p><p></p><p>That feeling that we need to check out our feelings with someone else before we can believe we saw what we saw is how this whole thing started in the first place.</p><p></p><p>Just sit with everything for a time. </p><p></p><p>Journal about it, post about it. Thank your lucky stars (like I do, too) that you did not have to live your whole life believing that what they taught you was true.</p><p></p><p>What a blessing to see in this new way, MWM!</p><p></p><p>And what I am finding, and what you will find too I think, is that as you let go of those old, constricting beliefs your family of origin somehow managed to find a crazy kind of legitimacy in, that energy released will belong to you. You will be stronger, more alert, happier.</p><p></p><p>That's how this works, I think.</p><p></p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>It isn't an easy thing to do at all, MWM. But you are worth it, and so am I.</p><p></p><p>Who knew our families of origin could have been so mean, so cheap and chintzy and wrong? We believed they were correct, MWM. That affected who we thought we were. We thought WE were the ones somehow out of balance.</p><p></p><p>Turns out, it was them, all along.</p><p></p><p>Now, we are choosing to see clearly. It isn't easy putting all those little puzzle pieces together correctly.</p><p></p><p>But oh boy, is it worth it.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 628760, member: 17461"] Good point, COM. ************** MWM, in the fullness of time, your sister will come back. They always do. But it doesn't matter whether she does or not. This is not about her. This time of self discovery is your gift to yourself, MWM. I think it is more important for you to become firmly rooted in this new identity that is opening for you as you choose to let go of the roles you were forced into in your family of origin than it is for you to tell your sister how your feelings for her have changed. It just isn't about her, MWM. That feeling that we need to check out our feelings with someone else before we can believe we saw what we saw is how this whole thing started in the first place. Just sit with everything for a time. Journal about it, post about it. Thank your lucky stars (like I do, too) that you did not have to live your whole life believing that what they taught you was true. What a blessing to see in this new way, MWM! And what I am finding, and what you will find too I think, is that as you let go of those old, constricting beliefs your family of origin somehow managed to find a crazy kind of legitimacy in, that energy released will belong to you. You will be stronger, more alert, happier. That's how this works, I think. :O) It isn't an easy thing to do at all, MWM. But you are worth it, and so am I. Who knew our families of origin could have been so mean, so cheap and chintzy and wrong? We believed they were correct, MWM. That affected who we thought we were. We thought WE were the ones somehow out of balance. Turns out, it was them, all along. Now, we are choosing to see clearly. It isn't easy putting all those little puzzle pieces together correctly. But oh boy, is it worth it. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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