First off, Diva is really a pretty good kid. Great grades, Jr. Honor Society, student council, participates in sports/cheer year round, band, school play, Girl Scouts, etc., etc., etc. She's like the Energizer Bunny when it comes to outside activities. Does homework without prompting 99% of the time. We get nothing but positive comments from teachers, coaches, and other parents about how helpful she is, how mature. She's not terribly helpful around the house - part of it is my fault; being the type A control freak that I am, I don't ask the kids to do much. Chores are extremely minimal, but any request for her to do anything (feed guinea pigs/cats, empty dishwasher, take her clothes to the laundry area) is guaranteed to provoke snarky sigh, rolling eyeballs, and borderline nasty response. I also have to ask her many many times to get her to do anything. I can deal with- this without getting too aggravated (thank you, difficult child, LOL). She's pretty strong-willed and definitely has her opinions already. We had an incident last year with her planting her little 11-year-old self in front of me and screaming that it was her life, I was ruining it, and I just needed to let her live (all over her wearing leggings and a t-shirt when it was 28 degrees outside - I actually debated with- myself before engaging her on that - logical consequences vs. my responsibility to ensure she was dressed appropriately for the weather. I chose the latter, and all heck broke loose). End result was she ended up losing a lot of her activities, as well as beloved cell phone, before she finally put on appropriate clothes. I *hate* taking her activities away, but it seems to be the only thing that gets her attn. She has also turned into a simply stunning young woman. It's actually very alarming. I had promised her 2 years ago that this school year (7th grade) she could start wearing make up. I kept my promise but I really regret having made it. She's tasteful and quite skilled at the make up, but the end result is I have a 12-year-old who easily could pass for 17/18 (she was asked about her college plans by a nurse at recent dr. appointment for Boo). She did not inherit her mother's stick figure physique. She is modest and doesn't want to wear revealing clothes, thank goodness, but she is getting a whole lot of attn from boys, and therein lies my problem. Steadfast rule has been for years no dating before at *least* 15. It's not been a problem with- the boys - Boo and thank you for obvious reasons, Wee because he is a rather self-contained kind of kid and is not yet (that I know of) terribly aware of the opposite sex (but can never be sure with- him - he could very well be prom king and we'd never know it, LOL). It's going to be a huge problem with- Diva. We've already had 2 freshman want her to be their "girlfriend". I nixed that fast. So I get a text from her last night that she's been "asked out" and she wants to say yes. She was on a field trip to Springfield so was on a bus at the time. I gave her my standard response - not until she's at least 15 (and even then... well, I'm not thinking about it). And she starts debating me, via text. It's not fair, yada yada yada yada. OMG!!!! This is not negotiable to both husband and me, but given her mopey demeanor this morning, she's going to make us pay dearly. Her logic is that we're saying no because we don't trust her. That isn't it. We don't trust the boys, LOL. No, just kidding (kinda) - I just feel in my gut that she is waaaay too young and I'm not going to change my mind on that. We've told her her job right now is to keep on doing all the stuff that she's been doing, that 12 (13, 14, 16, 20, 25, LOL) is just too young to date. Where I need help is - I know she's going to escalate this to the point of me having to start taking activities away, which I really really don't want to do. I told husband last night there is not a chance in heck I am going to fight this no-dating battle on a daily basis for the next 2 years (she'll be 13 in Feb). I'm tempted to just buy her a dozen t-shirts that say "Don't ask me out, my parents are intent on ruining my life." I'm also worried because she's strong-willed enough to try to do what she wants without our permission, though she knows the consequences would be catastrophic for her if she gets caught. (Am I smart enough to catch her???) There is no room for compromise on this - I feel very strongly about it. She has ample opportunity to interact with- boys at school, in all her various afterschool activities. I know she texts with- several boys and I do spot check her cell phone (have had a gazillion talks with- her about photos, etc.). Anyone have a sure-fire way to convince her that we mean business, the answer is an absolute "no", without me having to resort to start taking stuff away? She's one of those kids who thinks she knows it all, thinks she's street-smart (NOT), and thinks she can handle everything on her own. We know the next several years are going to be challenging with her, but I am hoping to keep her in check without having to resort to extreme punishments because really, she's a great kid and has the world by the tail.