my son has always been difficult. He's an only child after several failed IVF treatments to give him a sibling. Trying to play with him when he was growing up was always hard as he had to be allowed to win or all hell broke loose. Behavior problems started in school. Too chatty, sometimes disrespectful to teachers etc. Mid way through grammer school he was always the one sitting next to the teacher etc. By junior high, daily calls from the school for behavior problems (drug use started here) and by high school, daily calls, suspensions, cheating all culminating in him cutting pretty much every day. He only graduated as I begged a teacher to pass him with a D- as I always thought (someday he'll get it and not graduating highschool is a life long stigma). His childhood friends all went on to college which wasn't an option for him. Now he's 20. Has dropped out of 5 junior colleges that we've paid for. Has become a pot dealer, and has decided that being horribly disrespectful and now violent towards us will be his new goal in life as he's miserable because his friends have outgrown the screwup and the warnings we gave him about not changing his behavior have all come to fruition. He was adored. There was never a more wanted or loved baby. He was a beautiful blond haired, green eyed baby who we loved more than life. My mother bonded with him from the second he was born and would literally have done anything for him. He was coddled and catered to his whole life yet after each one of his failures, he blamed us. He NEVER took ownership of any of his deeds. Not his bad grades, failures in college, his disrespectful behavior etc. He met his first real girlfriend last year. A nice girl from a good family but the drama started with her shortly after. Angry, blaming, destructive. Threatening to kill him self etc. she finally found the strength to end the relationship ship. So now the cycle has started again with us. Flying off the handle over nothing. He doesn't work or go to school. He sells pot we think and stays out all night and sleeps all day. He doesn't do anything around the house. He doesn't talk, laugh or socialize with us at all. If he's home he's in his room. The other night he decided to give away his dresser. It makes no sense, we bought it, and now he has nowhere to put his clothes. I mentioned to my husband that I didn't want the empty dresser blocking the spare bedroom in our house. It wasn't angry or threatening, just a statement to my husband. He overheard it and went crazy. Threatened to kill us over and over (again he's 20 years old). Broke things etc. his rage was mostly at me but he was screaming at my husband too. I left so my husband could try to calm him down and finally ended up calling the police. This is his second 5150 call. He refuses any help or counseling. His failures are NEVER his fault. Won't work or go to school, then culminated the night by mocking my grief for my mother who died two years ago and calling me a fu**ing c**t. Anyway I'm done. I'm exhausted. I'm tired and worse of all, I simply don't care anymore. I just want him out of my life now. His sole ambition is to make us miserable because he screwed up HIS life. Has anyone else simply fallen out of love with their kid and want no relationship? I don't wish him ill will, I just feel nothing and feel you just can't come back from the things he said. I literally don't want to know him. There's nothing there but bitterness (all self inflicted) and again he refuses help so I'm ready to resume my life away from him. Does that make me horrible? My husband is a classic enabler so unfortunately that situation isn't healthy either but it's my son I'm referring to now. Any advice?