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I'm a failure
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 705562" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Hi Lucyxyz, and welcome. I am sorry you had to find us but glad you did.</p><p></p><p>You are not a failure, you are not horrible and you are not alone. Many of us have "gone cold" when our children have gone off the rails as your son has. For some of us it is temporary, for others permanent, and for others it is a day-to-day thing. But I think all of the above can relate to what you said.</p><p></p><p>Somewhere Out There, the wise woman who posted right above my post, once said something so meaningful I put it in my signature: As parents, we too hit rock bottom.</p><p></p><p>I think you are spot on when you say we need to resume our lives without them. I think that is absolutely necessary, whether or not we are still in contact with them. That is the key, I think. We need to find ways to resume OUR lives and stop living THEIRS.</p><p></p><p>Are you seeing a counselor, Lucy? It might be a good thing to do, with you and husband not coming from the same place. Not only is is stressful, but difficult children can be quite masterful at triangulating their parents.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting and reading, Lucy. It helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 705562, member: 17720"] Hi Lucyxyz, and welcome. I am sorry you had to find us but glad you did. You are not a failure, you are not horrible and you are not alone. Many of us have "gone cold" when our children have gone off the rails as your son has. For some of us it is temporary, for others permanent, and for others it is a day-to-day thing. But I think all of the above can relate to what you said. Somewhere Out There, the wise woman who posted right above my post, once said something so meaningful I put it in my signature: As parents, we too hit rock bottom. I think you are spot on when you say we need to resume our lives without them. I think that is absolutely necessary, whether or not we are still in contact with them. That is the key, I think. We need to find ways to resume OUR lives and stop living THEIRS. Are you seeing a counselor, Lucy? It might be a good thing to do, with you and husband not coming from the same place. Not only is is stressful, but difficult children can be quite masterful at triangulating their parents. Keep posting and reading, Lucy. It helps. [/QUOTE]
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