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I'm a failure
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<blockquote data-quote="JaneBetty" data-source="post: 705564" data-attributes="member: 20814"><p>Lucy, you are not a failure as a parent, and feeling numb to your son after all you've gone through sounds like a normal coping skill.</p><p></p><p>I agree with the others that talking with a professional would help a great deal, and if you can manage to present a united front with your husband on the same page, you will be in a much better position to deal with your son.</p><p></p><p>My husband is not an enabler, but he is retired from a career of helping people, so he was able to put up with our daughter's behavior for a long time, and was a good example of patience and forebearance for me during many rough episodes. However, when things got out of hand and my daughter was charged with assaulting me, everything changed.</p><p></p><p>I can relate to your feelings of not having feelings towards your child. You are not Superwoman and need time to heal. Personally, I would be struggling with feeling fear towards my child if I were in your situation (in fact, everytime I think about finally seeing and speaking to her in person, I panic. I have not had contact with her since last August).</p><p></p><p>Take care of yourself. If your son is still living with you all, I imagine you are on pins and needles, waiting for the next problem to start up. That's not healthy. Your son needs help, and he may have to get to a point where he is forced to seek it on his own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JaneBetty, post: 705564, member: 20814"] Lucy, you are not a failure as a parent, and feeling numb to your son after all you've gone through sounds like a normal coping skill. I agree with the others that talking with a professional would help a great deal, and if you can manage to present a united front with your husband on the same page, you will be in a much better position to deal with your son. My husband is not an enabler, but he is retired from a career of helping people, so he was able to put up with our daughter's behavior for a long time, and was a good example of patience and forebearance for me during many rough episodes. However, when things got out of hand and my daughter was charged with assaulting me, everything changed. I can relate to your feelings of not having feelings towards your child. You are not Superwoman and need time to heal. Personally, I would be struggling with feeling fear towards my child if I were in your situation (in fact, everytime I think about finally seeing and speaking to her in person, I panic. I have not had contact with her since last August). Take care of yourself. If your son is still living with you all, I imagine you are on pins and needles, waiting for the next problem to start up. That's not healthy. Your son needs help, and he may have to get to a point where he is forced to seek it on his own. [/QUOTE]
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