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Parent Emeritus
I'm a son who became criminal and wants to reconnect with parents. I need your help.
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 707475" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>As a parent, if what you are doing is still illegal and can/may/will eventually lead to another arrest, I could not have part of it. I am assuming, like others, you deal marijuana. It would not be a moral thing for me - but I could not open myself up to anyone doing anything illegal, regardless of my personal feelings on it. However, if it is legal or you could make it a legal enterprise, for me it would be a nonissue as long as you were healthy, happy, self supporting, and non destructive to yourself or others. </p><p></p><p>From your description, your parents are perhaps not so open minded. I agree with the long distance contact without demands. Nothing that is an attempt to buy their love nor demand or manipulate your way back in. For me, I am always looking for the manipulation, the gotcha, with my daughter when she comes back into my life.</p><p></p><p>You don't give much history. Have you come in and out of their lives more than once? Have you struggled throughout while they tried to help you as you grew up? Have you betrayed their trust? All of those become factors once an estranged child comes back....that fear of replaying old hurtful scenarios and driving down dead end roads again. I am just letting you know what it is like from the other side, the parental side. So your overtures may not be welcomed or acknowledged at first. If not, don't be discouraged. If you are true in your intent to reconnect, don't give up. Broken trust takes a long time to rebuild. Continue to show your true intentions by continuing your attempts, regardless of how long it takes or how hurtful it feels if it isn't welcomed in the beginning. Give them whatever time they need to come to peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 707475, member: 19905"] As a parent, if what you are doing is still illegal and can/may/will eventually lead to another arrest, I could not have part of it. I am assuming, like others, you deal marijuana. It would not be a moral thing for me - but I could not open myself up to anyone doing anything illegal, regardless of my personal feelings on it. However, if it is legal or you could make it a legal enterprise, for me it would be a nonissue as long as you were healthy, happy, self supporting, and non destructive to yourself or others. From your description, your parents are perhaps not so open minded. I agree with the long distance contact without demands. Nothing that is an attempt to buy their love nor demand or manipulate your way back in. For me, I am always looking for the manipulation, the gotcha, with my daughter when she comes back into my life. You don't give much history. Have you come in and out of their lives more than once? Have you struggled throughout while they tried to help you as you grew up? Have you betrayed their trust? All of those become factors once an estranged child comes back....that fear of replaying old hurtful scenarios and driving down dead end roads again. I am just letting you know what it is like from the other side, the parental side. So your overtures may not be welcomed or acknowledged at first. If not, don't be discouraged. If you are true in your intent to reconnect, don't give up. Broken trust takes a long time to rebuild. Continue to show your true intentions by continuing your attempts, regardless of how long it takes or how hurtful it feels if it isn't welcomed in the beginning. Give them whatever time they need to come to peace. [/QUOTE]
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I'm a son who became criminal and wants to reconnect with parents. I need your help.
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