husband has been in California for a month training getting ready to go to Afganastan. He will be there until June next year. difficult child has been in RARE form since husband left. We homeschool and he lies to me every day when he says he did his work. I go check it and guess what, its not done. I walk by the table frequently and hes staring off into space. He won't get up in the AM when I tell him to. This morning he laid on the floor and wouldn't move. He has spent 90% of his time on restriction since husband left. This morning I called husband hoping he could motivate his son to get the blank up off the floor. husband begins yelling in this drill instructor voice, cursing, telling difficult child that he will call the police if he doesn't straighten up. difficult child gets off the phone and bursts out crying, runs up to his room and locks himself in there. Gee, thanks husband! that was a huge help! My mother in law told me last week that I shouldn't "burden" husband with all that is going on at home, because if thats what hes thinking about over in AF then his life is at risk. A small part of me agrees with her, but a BIG part of me is like, umm no no no, just because he chose this job does not excuse him from being a parent. He doesn't get to forget about all the drama going on at home and think everything is honky dory. Thats not fair to me. I have taken difficult child to a counselor and he acted all sweet and respectful to her of coarse. then she calls me in and tells me a. hes not worried at all about his dad b.) he would love to join boyscouts and be with- more kids (after which he tells me he lied about that to get her to shut up, she wanted to know what interested him) and c) that he would try harder with- school ~ that hasn't happened.This is the same counselor that easy child and I see also. A few times I have come very close to telling difficult child to get dressed and we would go enroll him back in public school. I don't know how much more I can take. But I feel in my heart that if I put him back in school, things will go from bad to worse. He was constantly in trouble in school, didnt do his work, etc. The only thing it would do is put a little distance between us during the day. Which don't get me wrong I would love that...but is it worth all the drama and dealing with- admin / teachers at school. I just want to detatch...I want to live in la la land. I can deal with husband being gone. I can't deal with- difficult child by myself..if that makes sense.