i'm about ready to blow

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by musiclady, May 19, 2012.

  1. musiclady

    musiclady New Member

    my daughter i'll call her Nicole really pushing things today.
    1. first thing strait after breakfast refused to put her dirty washing in the machine, and tried telling me it wasn't washing day.
    2. at the coffee shop this morning, I gave my other daughter $2 to buy 3 small packets of bisicuts. Nicole broke in and told me not to do this, and she would pay, and when I told her I'd already done it, told me I was mean for not letting her spend her money.
    3. At lunch, she decided to soulk because she didn't get the sandwich she wanted.
    5. When when washing was done she took 3 times of me checking to put it away. First time washing was hidden on the closet floor. second time in the wash basket for the dirty washing. Then my other daughter put the underpants and socks away and there was no one single pair ofrom underpants or singlets from Nicole. She then just told me I was mistaken, that I was lying, that the underpants were in the wash.
    Results: I am about ready to blow. It's this sort of thing all day every day.
  2. musiclady

    musiclady New Member

    anyone have any ideas .
  3. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Sorry, it sounds like life at my house on most days. I just start taking away objects that they will miss... and they get them back once the chores are done. I have been known to take all the dirty clothes and throw in trash sacks and put in storage area for a week. When they are begging to do laundry, then they can do it.

    Most the time I try incentives first. Like, let's watch that movie you wanted to see, but first, put in a load of clothes. Halfway thru the movie, I pause and have them run down and switch to dryer. Then after the movie, we can sit around and fold together. But it is a chore to actually get them to put them away.

    been there done that KSM
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    Is this your 8y/o? If so, it's sounds pretty normal - at least for this board. "our" kids need a LOT more reminders than the average kid. Their brains are wired differently so they learn and respond differently as well.

    Have you had any evaluations for her? The follow up on the other thread seemed to indicate sensory issues - the touching and chewing of EVERYTHING. pediatrician can only rule out medical stuff. You need to take her to an Occupational Therapist for the sensory issues.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome.

    We need to k now more to help. How old is she? How was her early development? Any unusual occurances in her childhood or family life? Are you and her father together?

    It's just hard to answer a question with no info. If she is six this behavior is different than if she is sixteen.
  6. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    I think the child is 8, MWM, and the poster gave more information about her in another thread (keep up at the back of the class, please :))
    Have to say these "irritations" sound more minor than major to me, but then I wasn't there to witness them - and sometimes I know it's the little things that ARE the irritating ones. Or maybe... I am just too used to life with my own difficult child and my thresholds and expectations have radically altered!
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    difficult child 1 needs to have something to look forward to in order to work. All the other kids have to have me working with them. There are times that even with a very big carrot difficult child 1 will still need me working with him in order to get a job done. It just depends on the day.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh, ok, thanks, Malika. I see it now.

    in my opinion, eight is a little young to expect the laundry to be done. I honestly would have had a heart attack if any of my kids had done the laundry, let alone well, at that age...lol.

    I agree with Malika that the problems seem rather minor. But, like her, I wasn't there. What sort of things do you expect of your child? Maybe the posters here can brainstorm for ya.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I think these issues alone would probably make many of us here with difficult child's think, I'd like that to be my problem, but put together with your last post teaching these kinds of skills??? I suspect you will need some unique (not to us here, but not common in m ost houses) kinds of teaching.

    One idea is to put pictures/words she can read on each drawer and the closet. Yes, she may already know, but it will help her organize her thinking while she is doing the chore.

    Again, you can have a laundry checklist....what you want her to do first, second etc. Or, sometimes it works to teach the last thing on the list first. (called a backward chain)....so you get it all r eady, in the basket, bring it u p and then hand her piles to put in each drawer/spot....ask where it goes....after she does great with that, no cues.....then she takes them out of the basket, once confident she has that, have her bring the basket up....etc etc etc...going back in steps until she is doing it all. She can probably do all of the steps...so this may seem like overkill but this kind of direct teaching can help differently wired kids to get the routine down better, they then dont get so overwhelmed and lose their place. At her age some kids can help with laundry and some dont do so well but it is still within normal range, I agree with others, not to do much laundry yet, still... she sounds like (from your other post) she may really be a kiddo who will need alternatives as you said (not the reward chart necessarily, though it is nice to give a treat, hug, whatever works for your individual child, at the end of a task board as you probably already do.... to help her to be motivated to learn)....

    Those are a couple of things I have done and mine is developmentally about where yours is in those kinds of tasks.
  10. musiclady

    musiclady New Member

    Thanks for the replies... Most helpful. I should clarify a few things. We are talking about a few dress and maybe a jumper or 2. About 5 or have items at most. The 5 youear old puts away the underwear and socks and obviously I do the baby's washing and the adult washing. She is NOT expected to do the intire load, just put the basket in the machine and that's it. I think budy had a great point about creating a chain for the steps in it. Because I'd found she does well with a general routine. We have a board with all daily tasks writen on it, i the order they need to be done. That seems to be working well.
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Oh, five items. She could manage that, sure.

    I think writing it out is a good idea too. If one has a poor memory, one has to write EVERYTHING down (I am that person). It's good for her to learn this great coping skill as early as possible.