Californiablonde
Well-Known Member
Well guess what? My damn doctor cancelled on me AGAIN! This is the second time he has done this. So far I have only seen him once. Twice now he has abruptly cancelled all of his appointments claiming to be "out of the office" that day. I am so mad I could scream. I read up some not so good reviews about this guy online and now I'm starting to believe them. This doctor never returns phone calls and is always unavailable. I think it's time for a new doctor.
In the meantime, I am weaning myself off the Brintellix. I can't stand it anymore. Not only are the panic attacks really bad at work, but they are also really bad at home and exercise is not helping anymore. Yesterday I was so anxious and restless I went for my walk and I was having panic attacks while I was walking. That never used to happen! So without this doctor's approval I am taking myself off this medication because honestly I felt better with nothing than these pills.
SWOT, to answer your question, I am not actually sure which type of bipolar I am. I never really asked. In the past I have gotten super manic with little to no sleep, and I would do foolish and stupid things like spend my rent and food money on new clothes and meet random men off the internet and bring them home. I also do a lot of cutting and I have the scars on my wrists to prove it. Totally dangerous behavior, but when manic I have no conscience whatsoever. And when I'm depressed I feel like I'm too worthless to live and I sleep 20 hours a day.
So whatever type of bipolar it sounds like, that's what I am. Thankfully My bipolar medications are still working really good so I haven't been manic or depressed in about three years. It's this anxiety that's killing me. I have had minor anxiety all my life, but since I hit 40 a few years ago it's become unbearable. I keep having my thyroid checked and my doctor has checked out my female hormone levels and everything keeps coming back normal. IT was literally when I turned 40 that my whole life fell apart, physically and mentally. I just want to feel normal again. As normal as it gets for me, anyway!
In the meantime, I am weaning myself off the Brintellix. I can't stand it anymore. Not only are the panic attacks really bad at work, but they are also really bad at home and exercise is not helping anymore. Yesterday I was so anxious and restless I went for my walk and I was having panic attacks while I was walking. That never used to happen! So without this doctor's approval I am taking myself off this medication because honestly I felt better with nothing than these pills.
SWOT, to answer your question, I am not actually sure which type of bipolar I am. I never really asked. In the past I have gotten super manic with little to no sleep, and I would do foolish and stupid things like spend my rent and food money on new clothes and meet random men off the internet and bring them home. I also do a lot of cutting and I have the scars on my wrists to prove it. Totally dangerous behavior, but when manic I have no conscience whatsoever. And when I'm depressed I feel like I'm too worthless to live and I sleep 20 hours a day.
So whatever type of bipolar it sounds like, that's what I am. Thankfully My bipolar medications are still working really good so I haven't been manic or depressed in about three years. It's this anxiety that's killing me. I have had minor anxiety all my life, but since I hit 40 a few years ago it's become unbearable. I keep having my thyroid checked and my doctor has checked out my female hormone levels and everything keeps coming back normal. IT was literally when I turned 40 that my whole life fell apart, physically and mentally. I just want to feel normal again. As normal as it gets for me, anyway!