Along with my typical concern about getting ripped to shreads and humiliated again in front of my son and complete strangers, etc, I got a letter from difficult child yesterday. It says that he did let people put cigs out on his body in three different places/times..but he was high at the time. (Does that make it better in his mind??) He apologizes for hurting me physically (he actually didn't hurt me but of course, did scare me), and emotionally. He says none of this is my fault and that he thinks maybe I've been right- maybe it is an issue about him not knowing anymore how to get thru a day without peers around. He also says he's not able to cry anymore, something he brought up before, too. But says he does get sad then it turns to agitation and he doesn't know how to get thru it so he gets up and ends up doing something to make matters worse for himself. He said he thinks something is wrong with him but he doesn't know how to fix it. He knows I have told him that if he really means this stuff, he needs to tell a therapist. He was allowed to call last night and all I could do was cry thinking about his life going down the tubes. I know that's a bad thing, even though I did not say they words to him. I told him when he gets to Department of Juvenile Justice processing he will probably get another MH evaluation and he should be honest this time, no matter how hard it is. He also said that neither his def attny or GAL had come to talk to him and that did tic me off because the GAL assured me last week that he would go see difficult child withing a few days and he knew difficult child had asked to see him. difficult child was allowed to call again today because he has court first thing tomorrow. He said they didn't see him today either but he needs to talk to them because he is thinking about asking for a continuance. WHAT?? Ok, he has reason to ask for this if the attnys have not even talked to him. But first of all, it sounded like this is why he'd been wanting to talk to them so it makes me wonder what he wants them to shoot for. And, if he ultimately gets sentenced to state Department of Juvenile Justice again, this time in detention while awaiting court and continuing the case does not count toward his time. I go see him in a few mins because I promised him I would see him before the trial tomorrow. It will be interesting to find out what his plan is. Let's hope it's not DSS. I don't know what to make of his letter, much less him forming a plan for court at all. Oh..I just remembered a comment he made when I saw him before, shortly after getting arrested this last time: He said he is better off incarcerated because he can experiement around with the same things and do what he wants to in there and not get in trouble for it. ITRW, he gets in trouble for it. The only thing he can't do in there is have sex with a girl.