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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 634749" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>CB, neither your mother nor people at your school understand mental illness. Sorry, but if they think that being more structured would have made your daughter perfect, they are talking silly. I don't care how many people tell you that, or if it's a stranger or your own mother, they don't get it. You may want to tell your mother that the topic of your child is off limits or you will have to discontinue the conversation. She is from another era, and mental illness is an evolving science. Theories from her day are old and theories from today will become old fast. Nobody truly understands human behavior yet. I have found schools to be be some of least helpful professionals around...they are educators, not psychiatrists, yet often teachers think they "know" all about children because they have been exposed to them. When they used to tell me what is wrong with my children or that they needed medications or may have the famous ADHD (the buzzword of my day when any child acted out), I asked them politely if they had a medical degree. When they stammered, "no," I told them I would not be able to help them then and that our family would deal with any issues with medical professionals.</p><p></p><p>Teachers didn't like me very much, but they knew I was dead serious about helping my kids. I would bring in people over them, like from the Dept. of Public Education and advocates. One teacher told my daughter Jumper, "There are about ten teachers here who n ever want to talk to your mother again." Well, that was good and I got everything I wanted for my children and they were treated like royalty. Both got excellent supports and great educations.</p><p></p><p>Trust your own gut and knowledge. Don't tell your mom abgout your daughter if she is going to make silly allegations about your parenting to you. I would not listen to educators either. They are trained to educate, not to diagnose problems with any of the children they teach. I have never gone to a psychiatrist who said, "Wait! Before I make a diagnosis, I have to talk to the teachers to find our THEIR diagnosis."</p><p></p><p>I would lay a boundary on Mom calling school. A strong one. This is none of her business. She raised her kids and my guess is they were all easy to raise. It is not her place to interfere. Can you possibly find another job, away from your mom?</p><p></p><p>Your daughter has inherited mental health issues. You did nothing to cause them. You are trying hard to help her. You are a great mother <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 634749, member: 1550"] CB, neither your mother nor people at your school understand mental illness. Sorry, but if they think that being more structured would have made your daughter perfect, they are talking silly. I don't care how many people tell you that, or if it's a stranger or your own mother, they don't get it. You may want to tell your mother that the topic of your child is off limits or you will have to discontinue the conversation. She is from another era, and mental illness is an evolving science. Theories from her day are old and theories from today will become old fast. Nobody truly understands human behavior yet. I have found schools to be be some of least helpful professionals around...they are educators, not psychiatrists, yet often teachers think they "know" all about children because they have been exposed to them. When they used to tell me what is wrong with my children or that they needed medications or may have the famous ADHD (the buzzword of my day when any child acted out), I asked them politely if they had a medical degree. When they stammered, "no," I told them I would not be able to help them then and that our family would deal with any issues with medical professionals. Teachers didn't like me very much, but they knew I was dead serious about helping my kids. I would bring in people over them, like from the Dept. of Public Education and advocates. One teacher told my daughter Jumper, "There are about ten teachers here who n ever want to talk to your mother again." Well, that was good and I got everything I wanted for my children and they were treated like royalty. Both got excellent supports and great educations. Trust your own gut and knowledge. Don't tell your mom abgout your daughter if she is going to make silly allegations about your parenting to you. I would not listen to educators either. They are trained to educate, not to diagnose problems with any of the children they teach. I have never gone to a psychiatrist who said, "Wait! Before I make a diagnosis, I have to talk to the teachers to find our THEIR diagnosis." I would lay a boundary on Mom calling school. A strong one. This is none of her business. She raised her kids and my guess is they were all easy to raise. It is not her place to interfere. Can you possibly find another job, away from your mom? Your daughter has inherited mental health issues. You did nothing to cause them. You are trying hard to help her. You are a great mother :) [/QUOTE]
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