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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 653285" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>He Stevesmom,</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you've done everything you can and you also know none of it is helping. The longer you continue to enable him the harder it will be for you to let go, and you are doing more harm than good by not detaching from him.</p><p></p><p>You've been doing this for 10 years and nothing has changed. He's 30 now. Look down the road another 10 years, he will be 40, and so on. There will come a point when you won't be around and then what??</p><p></p><p>It would be better that he start learning how to deal with taking care of himself now. Again, the longer you wait the harder it will be.</p><p></p><p>My son is 33, homeless / couch surfing. I tried for many years to "help" my son. I have come to accept the fact that he will never live the life that I had hoped he would. I don't like it, but I do accept it.</p><p></p><p>It is very freeing to let go and detach, to break those chains that hold you back. I will always love my son but his life choices are his and I need to live my life for me.</p><p></p><p>I feel for you. I know how hard it is.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 653285, member: 18516"] He Stevesmom, It sounds like you've done everything you can and you also know none of it is helping. The longer you continue to enable him the harder it will be for you to let go, and you are doing more harm than good by not detaching from him. You've been doing this for 10 years and nothing has changed. He's 30 now. Look down the road another 10 years, he will be 40, and so on. There will come a point when you won't be around and then what?? It would be better that he start learning how to deal with taking care of himself now. Again, the longer you wait the harder it will be. My son is 33, homeless / couch surfing. I tried for many years to "help" my son. I have come to accept the fact that he will never live the life that I had hoped he would. I don't like it, but I do accept it. It is very freeing to let go and detach, to break those chains that hold you back. I will always love my son but his life choices are his and I need to live my life for me. I feel for you. I know how hard it is. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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