Hi all! Let me begin with a bit of an introduction. I am the mother of an extremely complicated 35 y/o daughter. We have struggled with her since birth. I knew after 2 other children something was not quite right. At the age of 13 things began getting out of hand. We began the longgggg tangled mess of doctors, medications and diagnoses. The police became involved when she struck me and stole my car at 15. At that point we had her hospitalized for 2 months and she was given the diagnosis of ODD. It was around that time I found this site. Oh my it was a Godsend. Without all the advice and support, I believe I would be in the nut hut myself. Through the next years we dealt with bipolar diagnosis, drug abuse, alcohol, coming out of the closet, a few lovers (One hanging herself) add PTSD, loss of jobs , multiple car wrecks, DUI, hospitaliations along with other stuff I am to exhausted to remember. During this time, I have grown old and tired. Which brings us to today. I'll actually go back the past 2 years. Again she seemed to be stable after joining AA. Is on SSD and has a part time job, and is going to a tech college. Being the negative Nancy I have become, I actually discouraged her from this, as I know she does not have the personality or temperament to work in the medical field. But here again I am the bad one because I am not supporting, and know she has no means to pay for this. I'm assured that she has a grant. So I keep my mouth shut and pretend to be supportive. She did graduate. Hood winked my mom out of $8,000 behind my back.(my mom passed soon after) Was placed into a position which lasted 2 weeks because they were all so mean to her she had to quit. She has yet to find another job in her field. Can not get along with roommate, working part time in retail, I co sign for an apartment for her. One bedroom very small and cheap. Yup, I did it. I figured no matter what I will always pay her rent because I can not have her home with me. As of now she is not working. They were mean to her. She is on SSD and I supplement each month. Throughout all this my husband has open heart surgery. The day he came home, she has herself admitted to the hospital for suicide. Everything seems to evolve around her. 7 weeks ago I had a hip replacement. While I was in the hospital she came to see me to tell me she needed to admit herself. There I am in pain, can hardly move and she wants my help. I told her to do whatever she needs to do, but leave me and her dad out of it. We have nothing more to give. That very evening she calls me from the very same hospital I'm in to let me know she has been admitted and wants her dad and I to take her dog! Oh my gosh I can not even tell you the fit she threw when I told her no. Each time something like this happens, a bit of my heart is destroyed. After many years of these incidences, I am not sure how much compassion I have left. Which that in and of itself leaves me with guilt. It seems like I go through the motions and do what needs to be done. There never seems to be any reasoning with her. In her mind she is always right, and things are everyone's fault. It's extremely difficult to have a real relationship with someone like that. That's the saddest part, knowing you will never have a mutual beneficial relationship with your own daughter. Thanks all for taking the time to read my story. I know there is really nothing that can be said. It just feels good getting it off my chest.