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Substance Abuse
I'm back, and things aren't getting better
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 725817" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am very glad he is getting help at a residential place. This is good for him and for all of you. I want to encourage you, your husband and your other son to go to NarAnon or AlAnon meetings for help. I know you did not use, but you learned patterns of behavior that let you live with an addict. It will take time and work to learn new patterns of behavior, ones that are healthier. This will let you have a much healthier and happier life and it will help you to not enable your son's addiction in the future. It will support him in his efforts to be clean.</p><p></p><p>Addicts with family members who attend 12 step meetings are 30% more likely to get and stay clean in the long run. So even if this rehab doesn't work, over the long run, you improve your son's chances significantly if you get into recovery. </p><p></p><p>Think of it like this. If he was in school and had a failing grade, a 55% in each of his classes, and you could help him, you would have thought about it. If you attended regular meetings, more often the first month and then once or twice a week after that, then he would get an 85%, which would raise him from an F to a B, what would you do? I know what my parents would have done. They would have made me study more (lots more!) and they would have attended every one of those meetings. </p><p></p><p>This is what NarAnon or AlAnon meetings can do for you. I include AlAnon meetings because in some small towns they don't have NarAnon meetings and AlAnon is very similar. These meetings actually will help you and your son, as well as the rest of your family. It might not seem like you should have to go to meetings, after all you are not the addict. It is his problem, not yours. Sadly, addiction is a disease that infects the entire family. The rest of the family just shows different symptoms and needs a different antibiotic. Your antibiotic is NarAnon/AlAnon meetings. Your son's antibiotic is rehab and AA/NA meetings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 725817, member: 1233"] I am very glad he is getting help at a residential place. This is good for him and for all of you. I want to encourage you, your husband and your other son to go to NarAnon or AlAnon meetings for help. I know you did not use, but you learned patterns of behavior that let you live with an addict. It will take time and work to learn new patterns of behavior, ones that are healthier. This will let you have a much healthier and happier life and it will help you to not enable your son's addiction in the future. It will support him in his efforts to be clean. Addicts with family members who attend 12 step meetings are 30% more likely to get and stay clean in the long run. So even if this rehab doesn't work, over the long run, you improve your son's chances significantly if you get into recovery. Think of it like this. If he was in school and had a failing grade, a 55% in each of his classes, and you could help him, you would have thought about it. If you attended regular meetings, more often the first month and then once or twice a week after that, then he would get an 85%, which would raise him from an F to a B, what would you do? I know what my parents would have done. They would have made me study more (lots more!) and they would have attended every one of those meetings. This is what NarAnon or AlAnon meetings can do for you. I include AlAnon meetings because in some small towns they don't have NarAnon meetings and AlAnon is very similar. These meetings actually will help you and your son, as well as the rest of your family. It might not seem like you should have to go to meetings, after all you are not the addict. It is his problem, not yours. Sadly, addiction is a disease that infects the entire family. The rest of the family just shows different symptoms and needs a different antibiotic. Your antibiotic is NarAnon/AlAnon meetings. Your son's antibiotic is rehab and AA/NA meetings. [/QUOTE]
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