What kinds of testing have you had done, if any? We can't say for sure that he is or isn't bipolar or anything else, but the fact that you are here means that there is something going on, in my opinion. There is always a reason for a rage or meltdown even if we AND the child can't say what that is at t he time Is there a reason you suspect bipolar specifically?
Given the physical violence, I would go to the pediatrician or whomever his regular doctor is and push for an evaluation by a neuropsychologist, an occupational therapist and a speech language therapist. What do those docs/therapists do? The neuropsychologist is a psychologist with very specialized training in how the brain and behavior are connected and in how to do many types of testing properly. Many of us have found that they do very thorough testing, between 6 and 12 HOURS of testing to get a full evaluation. This is broken up into several appointments over several days or a couple of weeks. If school does some of the testing then you spend fewer hours with the neuropsychologist, but the school's testing will evaluate how the problems impact your child while at school only, NOT how they impact his entire life.
The speech therapist evaluation is to see f there are speech or hearing (auditory) problems. There are a lot of different types of speech and auditory problems that can appear to bre the result of manipulation or stubbornness or other things. The Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation is for sensory problems. Does he have trouble with tags in his clothes, certain tastes, textures, sounds, smells, etc? sensory issues often don't sound like they should be a big deal, but they truly CAN make life miserable for him and be the trigger for MANY meltdowns. Some people avoid certain things and others seek those things. I have very significant sensory issues of my own and so do all my kids. (NOT saying it is hereditary - no one knows) There are a LOT of different ways to handle the various problems but you MUST know what you are dealing with before you start trying to help.
There are some great books that can be a big help to you. First is The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. This is a very different type of parenting and it seems counter intuitive but if is what WORKS with difficult children and that is the name of the game, in my opinion. It is a fairly easy read and when the things described in the book are done, the results can be great
Just as helpful, What Your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell You by Dr. Doug Riley is crucial because it truly helps you figure out what triggered the rage and when yo u know that you can work out ways to keep problems from happening. It is a great book and many of us have found that learning what the triggers are is a HUGE step toward preventing the rages.
As you are concerned about bipolar, The Bipolar Child is one of the BEST books that you can have. It has a LOT of information about the disorder and the different types of treatments and how childhood (aka early onset bipolaror Early Onset Bi-Polar (EOBP)) bipolar is very different than adult bipolar.
There are two books on sensory integration disorder that are wonderful. Both are by Kranowitz. The first one, The Out Of Sync Child, describes sensory integration disorder and the many different ways to help the person who struggles wth this. the 2nd book, The Out of Sync Child Has Fun, is packed with ideas to provide the sensory diet that Q needs and that they will actually TEACH him rather than isolating him and leaving him to his own devices. The activities truly ARE fun, and the book includes ways to make almost any equipment when you don't have much $.
Last I recommend Parenting your Child with Love and Logic by Fay and Cline. It stresses using natural and logical consequences while strengthening the loving bond between parent and child. they have quite a few books and you can learn more at their website:
www.loveandlogiccom .
Most important of all, trust your instincts. Parents have these instincts for a reason - to help us care for our children and to help them. I have found that the biggest mistakes I have made with any of my children all happened wehn I didn't heed that little voice in my head that said NO! this is WRONG!!
This is a great online family because we have been there done that and don't pass judgement on you, but rather share our experiences and what helped us so that they can help you with the rest of your lane. Welcome to our family!
