I'm Bitter right now

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by IKeepPraying, Mar 24, 2008.

  1. IKeepPraying

    IKeepPraying New Member

    I am on that emotional roller coaster still. I go from being mad, crying uncontrollably, scared and now....well, I am just BITTER...I am frustrated because my cousin seems to believe that my son is this nice kid right now and by talking to her, I get the feeling like she doesn't really believe me, its like when I tell her something, she comes back with some sort of defense for him. but I guess he is charming her. She said that he doesnt seem to be on anything, I hope that is true, I am hoping that he IS changing...it is just hard for me to believe. Maybe now that he is out. in his mind maybe he is in shock that I put my foot down the way I did, and maybe is having a "wake up call". I guess I can only hope right. Oh and I discovered something else that went missing....some thing else that I never wear. My husband bought me a "golden bear" diamond pave ring about 3 years ago. If anyone is from colorado or been to Vail, you would know what that is. Was in my Jewelry box, yes and now its just gone.

    I know...I know...I should file a police report..I am just struggling with it....I really am. I dont want this to turn into a big family feud with other family members. Maybe I will take that step and ask the police if I make a report, what is needed to try to get my stuff back if it is at a pawn shop.......baby steps
  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    It's amazing how well our kids can honeymoon at another home. Not forever, rarely even a long time, but enough to lull someone else into a sense of false security and, of course, make us look like idiots and bad parents. Have no fear, your son will show his true colors to your cousin. Sadly, it will probably at the expense of them losing several things of value.

    As to your things, I'd file the police report. You don't have to accuse your son but I'm sure they will be able to fit the pieces together. At least this way you have a small chance of getting things back. Also remember to check online sites, especially, eBay to see if any of your things are being sold there.

    You have every right to be bitter and angry. Your son has stolen so much from you -- not just things, but hopes and dreams.

  3. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    IKP: It sure does seem that our kids have a "charm gland" that goes into overdrive when they're in need (think the "Puss in Boots" scene from Shrek 2, just before Puss goes postal...)

    My wife often asks "why are you so mean to (McWeedy)? He hasn't done anything to you today, and you're acting like an A__H_LE to him." My reply is always the same: "Because I don't trust him. Today he's okay, but tomorrow he won't be. And I'm not falling for the big eyes and charming smile again, only to get hurt later. When he proves it's for real, I'll let my guard down, but not a moment before".

    I get the same thing from many of the parents of McWeedy's PotHead Posse, er, "friends". "He's such a charming young man". "He's so nice to have around". And, my personal favorite, "I'm so glad he's around my son, we need a better role model for <...insert random posse member name here...>".

    I feel your pain, and I understand your distress over trying to figure out if it's "real" this time. And having a family member trying to convince you only muddies the waters further. But, as other wise CD members have told me, you know your child best. Trust your feelings first, seek guidance from those you trust, and do what you think is right.

    Also, if you truly believe he might have taken your jewelry, you could file the police report but not say you think he did it. If it's distinctive, and you have a picture, many PD's have a stolen items DB that many (but not all) pawn shops and other "recycled" dealers can check. It may turn up that way. Funny story - I had a Schwinn 12-speed bike stolen from me in 7th grade, and I got a call from the police 6 years later that they'd found it and I needed to come pick it up; it was in their stolen property database. It wan't in great shape, but they did finally get it back to me when they found it :tongue:.

    I have a hunch from your post you know what's really going on, but are afraid to miss the one time it may be a real change. It's just my humble opinion, but with McWeedy I've decided that it's going to take more than "one time" to convince me that any change is real. And, if I mistake that "first time" for yet another con job, then I can balance it against the years of lies, deceit, defiance, and drug use. I think I'm owed one or two mistakes in return. If McW's really trying to change, he won't quit because I don't do backflips the first time he makes the right choice. And, by the second or third time, I'll probably start to get the hint. But for me, it's on his shoulders to convince me, not the other way around. He lost his right to any "benefit of doubt" a long, long time ago.

    But again, that's just me. Take it with a shaker of salt, add some lime juice, and you can have a virgin Margarita on me...


  4. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    Oops, sorry MB, just read that you said the same thing. Guess difficult child parent's minds think alike?

  5. IKeepPraying

    IKeepPraying New Member

    Love your post Mikey...Very true..and gave me a little laugh too, which I haven't done in a while...