"I'm depressed since I'm on this diet."

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MidwestMom, Sep 26, 2007.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Gee, I feel bad. I hope he doesn't think I'm punishing him. I keep telling him it's just because I'm concerned about his health, but he said he was depressed since the diet. Since he doesn't have the interest in looking good that other kids his age have, it really has to seem like torture for him. It's not like we don't feed him. He gets three means a day and snacks. They're just regulated and healthy rather than three bags of Cheetos or one whole pizza. Any ideas on how to explain to him why this is being done? We are also making him ride his bike for at least fifteen minutes a day (it's a start, plus he has gym at school). I feel like a mean mom...lol. Help?
  2. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    I don't have any advice on how to explain it to him. My youngest difficult child hates his diet too. So, just (((Hugs))) and some understanding for ya. Sorry you feel like the mean mom. You are doing what is best for him!
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    kt has some weight issues & a budding eating disorder. We don't use the word diet ever. I really push healthy eating choices.

    kt's therapist is teaching kt about portion control. 5 ritz crackers = one serving. 6 midget tootsie rolls = one serving. kt is beginning to watch & ask what a portion serving is on her snack. She is also beginning to choose yogurt along with graham cracker sticks as a snack.

    All this has taken at least 7 months. She knows that if she makes herself throw up, her priviledge of choosing foods is gone for at least a week. (I know this doesn't apply to Lucas.)

    I don't know if Lucas will grasp the idea of healthy life & choices. I can't remember if Lucas is big on riding his bike or skate boarding - a physical activity. For kt & her scooter, we used the fact that the healthy choices she makes will fuel her body to ride her scooter or go swimming. Other less healthy foods will not help her do some of her favorite things efficiently.

    Again, I can't say if this will work for Lucas. However, I wouldn't focus on his appearance or his portions at this point. I'd just spend this time teaching him what the healthy choices in food are & what portion of those foods make up a serving. Keep out a big bowl of popcorn (with-o butter, lightly salted), a bowl of whatever sweet fruit that is Lucas's favorite (kt loves grapes). I keep kt's favorite yogurt on hand, along with cheese sticks & graham cracker sticks.

    Good luck with this.
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    I know how he feels! Poor Lucas. It really is hard. I believe these kids use food to make themselves feel better... like a "stimulant". But then of course this habit turns into little addictions and a viscious cycle begins. This is how I see it for *my* difficult child. Lucas' situation may very well be different.

    I will say that after 3 weeks on a miniscule dose of celexa, I'm seeing some slight improvement in his meltdowns and maybe even an easement on the eating as an olympic sport. So maybe it will help us to manage this a little better. I know better than to look for total solutions with medications, but if it can help once tiny bit, I'll take it.

    You are a fantastic mom. Part of being a parent (the hardest part for me) is making the unpopular choices when you know in your heart they are the best but your kids don't see it that way. It's mostly a thankless job; I'm hoping to see the payoffs down the road. Hang tough!

  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have tons of fruit in the fridgie, and also have used "healthy choices." But if I don't mete out the portions, he will eat a whole pizza in one sitting with two glasses of whatever. He doesn't like water. His autism is seriously limiting his ability to give a darn about "healthy choices." He lives for the here and now and doesn't worry that he may be in a wheel chair at twenty years old if he is obese. So he's very hard to motivate. As for moving, well, we have to make him move. On his own, he's a couch potato.
  6. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I didn't read the original thread but has he had a doctor's appointment to look into this? A doctor's input on healthy choices instead of just mom's might be helpful here plus maybe some bloodwork needs to be done. Maybe there is a chemical reason his body is craving carbos and his complaint of feeling depressed is legitimate.

    Again, thinking about bringing in some outside assistance--He might be a lot more cooperative working with a dietician together making up a diet he can live with instead of you being the Food & Exercise Police.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My son has 100 appointments...lol. We just got a confirmation and a list. He is seeing a Nutritionist, Pediatrician, some other people and a Pediatric Endocrinologist. He can't get in until January!!! Until then, we wait. (In the past, he didn't pay attention to a dietician).
  8. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    easy child 1 and I just started weight watchers this Thursday will be our 3 week weight in. Now I am not sure, but could you do it with him? Eat healthier? I am asking because it has been much eaiser for me to change this time around because I am responsible for her success? If you know what I mean. A great WW cake receipe thats low fat is, any kind of box cake mix, and 1 can of any kind of diet soda. Mix together and bake an extra 10 minutes thats stated on the box. The suggest baking in a bundt pan because each "hump" is 2 points. We did the chocolate cake with diet cook, it was delicious!!! I know it stinks..and its hard. But its worth it in the end...eaiser said then done!

  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Could you maybe work on a Zone type plan? Balanced amounts of carbs, protein, and fat? I know an occasional Zone snack could be lean turky and a snickers? Would having balance bars or zone bars (check for almost as much protein as carbs) for snacks? You could stress that he will think better on the Zone type plan, and be able todo whatever hishobby is better? Maybe stress that is would make him "cool" or whatever will motivate him?

    Otherwise you may just need to continue to be the mean mom and do what is best for his health.

    Hugs to you both, this is SO hard.

    ps. Check his room regularly forhoarding. B once took a pound of cooked hamburger from the freezer and ate off of it for about 3 days. He was so terribly ill it was scary. He thought if he put enough chili powder on it the germs would not make him ill. :hammer:
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I did eliminate most but not all sweets, but I'm not a big fan of all protein, very high protein diets. I really want him to have a balanced diet. I lost 80 lbs. the old fashion way--calories and excerise--and I think that is the healthiest and best long term way to change your eating habits. But son isn't motivated. I can't wait for that appointment!
  11. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    in my humble opinion, you're doing a great job!!! It sounds like you're doing everything humanly possible to help him get his weight under control.

    I understand what you mean about him living in the here and now. Both of my difficult children are like that.

    Like Linda, I never use the word diet in my house. I try to stress the benefits of healthy eating. It sounds like you already do this. I guess you're just going to have to keep giving him the correct portions of food. I know that if I left it up to difficult child 1, he would polish off an entire carton of icecream, along with a package of cookies in one sitting!!!

    I wish I could think of something to say that might help. This is tough but I'll continue to think about this. I'll add more later if I can come up with anything. WFEN