DDD
Well-Known Member
Before I leave work today I wanted to share an idea that many of us used some years ago with great benefit.
We made a list and put it by the phone. The list was short pleasant detached responses to use when our difficult children called looking for help or to have someone listen to their woes (usually self inflicted woes, of course).
Instead of "engaging" in their conversation we practiced just listening and then choosing one of the simple responses we had by the telephone. A few samples are listed here but perhaps other old timers will add some that they found particularly helpful.
"That must be challenging but I'm confident you will find the choice that is best for you."
"You've always been so creative that I'm sure you will figure it out."
"When you think things through you will see the best path to follow."
Use your crip sheat and limit your responses to one of your answers. You don't ask questions. You don't commiserate. You simply acknowledge that you have listened and you KNOW difficult child can figure out what to do next on his or her own. Many of us found this method to be a huge step forward in detachment. difficult children do have to learn to make choices and take responsibility for their choices.
Hugs DDD
We made a list and put it by the phone. The list was short pleasant detached responses to use when our difficult children called looking for help or to have someone listen to their woes (usually self inflicted woes, of course).
Instead of "engaging" in their conversation we practiced just listening and then choosing one of the simple responses we had by the telephone. A few samples are listed here but perhaps other old timers will add some that they found particularly helpful.
"That must be challenging but I'm confident you will find the choice that is best for you."
"You've always been so creative that I'm sure you will figure it out."
"When you think things through you will see the best path to follow."
Use your crip sheat and limit your responses to one of your answers. You don't ask questions. You don't commiserate. You simply acknowledge that you have listened and you KNOW difficult child can figure out what to do next on his or her own. Many of us found this method to be a huge step forward in detachment. difficult children do have to learn to make choices and take responsibility for their choices.
Hugs DDD
