I'm Double Posting This Thread (not identifcal) in hopes it helps those in crisis.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DDD, Jun 20, 2013.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Before I leave work today I wanted to share an idea that many of us used some years ago with great benefit.
    We made a list and put it by the phone. The list was short pleasant detached responses to use when our difficult children called looking for help or to have someone listen to their woes (usually self inflicted woes, of course).
    Instead of "engaging" in their conversation we practiced just listening and then choosing one of the simple responses we had by the telephone. A few samples are listed here but perhaps other old timers will add some that they found particularly helpful.

    "That must be challenging but I'm confident you will find the choice that is best for you."
    "You've always been so creative that I'm sure you will figure it out."
    "When you think things through you will see the best path to follow."

    Use your crip sheat and limit your responses to one of your answers. You don't ask questions. You don't commiserate. You simply acknowledge that you have listened and you KNOW difficult child can figure out what to do next on his or her own. Many of us found this method to be a huge step forward in detachment. difficult children do have to learn to make choices and take responsibility for their choices.

    Hugs DDD
  2. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Thank you. Excellent!
  3. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Thank you, DDD.

    There are a number of excellent responses in the McCoy site listed at the bottoms of my posts.
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    The McCoy posting is of value, too. Thanks for sharing. DDD
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    exactly Busy....I have used them many times even in person...lol. My favorite is "your a smart kid, Im sure you will figure this one too."