Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I'm envious of Ache's girlfriend
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 655299" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>44....</p><p></p><p>SuZir, could you be in the choice phase of the life transition process? Given your astute assessment of the women in your sons' lives and your honest assessment of yourself in your own young womanhood, that is what I think I hear in your post.</p><p></p><p>I am 63. This is what I learned, as I lived those years between our ages:</p><p></p><p>Menopause</p><p></p><p>There could not be a greater gift for us than to live those years between forty and the rest of our lives than menopause. Our lives no longer revolve around the hormonal changes necessary for conceiving and birthing children. Until we experience the incredible freedom that a steady hormonal state brings, there literally is not a way to describe it. </p><p></p><p>I am myself, now.</p><p></p><p>To have lived as an aging woman did another wonderful thing for me. There was a time when my intrinsic value, even to myself, revolved around the power of being a fertile, desirable woman. I had taken that reality so for granted that the loss of it left me feeling invisible, for a time.</p><p></p><p>A woman of a certain age is perceived differently.</p><p></p><p>And there is such freedom in it.</p><p></p><p>SuZir, you cannot imagine the gift of interacting as a person, not as a fertile woman, until you taste it.</p><p></p><p>Those are the two biggest changes. There is a time of transition, but we are a fortunate generation.</p><p></p><p>For D H too, there is a letting go of the masculine role. </p><p></p><p>We are humans first now, to one another, and trusted friends.</p><p></p><p>I had my children young, too. At forty two, I made the choice again to recommit to my marriage rather than to establishing a career.</p><p></p><p>I do sometimes regret not having made that other life I might have created, then. It is good to have those regrets, I think. Those regrets are the cost, are the sacrifice made, for the life I chose to create, instead. Because this is so, I understand that I chose it freely, and am content.</p><p></p><p>I will have to remind D H what it cost me to choose him, instead.</p><p></p><p>:0)</p><p></p><p>Finally, I relish having had my grands when I was young and strong and we all were so beautiful, together. I am crinkling up, now. I love it that they knew me before I was fragile.</p><p></p><p>And I love it that I knew them before my thoughts turned contemplative, as they do when we begin understanding that it isn't just everyone else who is mortal.</p><p></p><p>Ew.</p><p></p><p>D H said this to me a few days ago. We were talking about age and aging and what that feels like. All at once, D H smiled right at me and said, "You know how, once someone is old, you don't try to figure out how old? Well," he said, "I think we're there. Which means we are ageless! For the rest of our lives, we are ageless!"</p><p></p><p>So, I thought that was terminally cool.</p><p></p><p>And we laughed and laughed about that, and life was very good.</p><p></p><p>So, those are the kinds of things you have to look forward to, SuZir.</p><p></p><p>Life turns rich with meaning in the simplest, most unexpectedly joyful ways.</p><p></p><p>There are so many layers of being human.</p><p></p><p>It's an extraordinary thing, to be human, and to be able to relish and contrast all the different layers of how to see.</p><p></p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 655299, member: 17461"] 44.... SuZir, could you be in the choice phase of the life transition process? Given your astute assessment of the women in your sons' lives and your honest assessment of yourself in your own young womanhood, that is what I think I hear in your post. I am 63. This is what I learned, as I lived those years between our ages: Menopause There could not be a greater gift for us than to live those years between forty and the rest of our lives than menopause. Our lives no longer revolve around the hormonal changes necessary for conceiving and birthing children. Until we experience the incredible freedom that a steady hormonal state brings, there literally is not a way to describe it. I am myself, now. To have lived as an aging woman did another wonderful thing for me. There was a time when my intrinsic value, even to myself, revolved around the power of being a fertile, desirable woman. I had taken that reality so for granted that the loss of it left me feeling invisible, for a time. A woman of a certain age is perceived differently. And there is such freedom in it. SuZir, you cannot imagine the gift of interacting as a person, not as a fertile woman, until you taste it. Those are the two biggest changes. There is a time of transition, but we are a fortunate generation. For D H too, there is a letting go of the masculine role. We are humans first now, to one another, and trusted friends. I had my children young, too. At forty two, I made the choice again to recommit to my marriage rather than to establishing a career. I do sometimes regret not having made that other life I might have created, then. It is good to have those regrets, I think. Those regrets are the cost, are the sacrifice made, for the life I chose to create, instead. Because this is so, I understand that I chose it freely, and am content. I will have to remind D H what it cost me to choose him, instead. :0) Finally, I relish having had my grands when I was young and strong and we all were so beautiful, together. I am crinkling up, now. I love it that they knew me before I was fragile. And I love it that I knew them before my thoughts turned contemplative, as they do when we begin understanding that it isn't just everyone else who is mortal. Ew. D H said this to me a few days ago. We were talking about age and aging and what that feels like. All at once, D H smiled right at me and said, "You know how, once someone is old, you don't try to figure out how old? Well," he said, "I think we're there. Which means we are ageless! For the rest of our lives, we are ageless!" So, I thought that was terminally cool. And we laughed and laughed about that, and life was very good. So, those are the kinds of things you have to look forward to, SuZir. Life turns rich with meaning in the simplest, most unexpectedly joyful ways. There are so many layers of being human. It's an extraordinary thing, to be human, and to be able to relish and contrast all the different layers of how to see. :hugs: Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I'm envious of Ache's girlfriend
Top