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I'm envious of Ache's girlfriend
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 655674" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I'm not looking forward of menopause nor getting older at all, I have to say.</p><p></p><p>I'm very physical person and I really hate the idea what all I have to give up in coming years. If lucky, I can of course continue many of my favourite activities, like running, many years still, but slow demise of my body, losing strength and agility and ability to perform will be very hard for me. I do not deal well with limitations. I have learnt to accept some physical limitations I have, mainly that I'm a woman (though I do enjoy the perks of that), but it has taken some work. I pride myself being strong, agile and fit and having to admit, that there are some things I can't physically do that men, for example my husband, can was something I struggled a bit when young lass. And I did throw quite a tantrum later that day, when almost a decade ago I was trying to move something around in the garden and couldn't and decided I needed to wait till my hubby would be home and Ache offered to help - and was able to easily manoeuvre the thing I couldn't despite all the work I had put into my body. That my then maybe 13 year old boy, who was nothing but long legs and arms and stick thin, was already stronger than I, and just because he was a boy, really angered me. But I have learnt to deal with that.</p><p></p><p>But I do wake up to nightmares were I wake up in old woman's body. And while I very well know, that is, how it will be one day, it frightens me silly.</p><p></p><p>I have always been lucky with female hormones. They have worked well for me. Never caused me much bother. If I'm not using hormonal contraception, there are couple days every month when there are lots of attractive men everywhere, but that, and falling instantly, deeply and madly in love with couple ugly, bloody maggots that midwife laid to my breast before the cord was cut, are about the only tricks my hormones have played with me. I will not grieve loss of fertility, I think, but I will grieve my strong, agile body.</p><p></p><p>I have always, well after some teenage issues, found myself reasonably attractive and I have to say that I do enjoy, when men notice that. But it hasn't been that important to me ever. I can live without that.</p><p></p><p>But losing my ability to move and perform, that will be a bitter pill.</p><p></p><p>My crossroad with career; I have not yet truly decided, and maybe I will not have a chance to make any decisions, but I'm very strongly considering giving it a go. I have a good job. It served me well, when kids were young and hubby was building his career. I have great workmates and I enjoy going to work. My work does have a meaning, it is not just to make shareholders richer, but to actually, if for the very small part, make a difference in the world. It pays okayish, good compensation for lost free time. And it is very stable. Work itself is however boring and repetitive, does not challenge me much. Going for PhD can be considered just a hobby. I have taken some time off from work to facilitate it at times, but still, if I leave it to that, it was just a hobby. Or I could try to pursue that. Try to pursue those few positions available to continue on that road. More work, significantly worse hours, worse pay, significantly worse job security, much more competitive environment. But also excitement and thrill. But I'm seriously considering it. Especially because my hubby, who almost decade ago turned down 'once in the lifetime'-chance at work, because kids were heading to their teens and he didn't want to be that dad, who is never there for them, never in their games, never having time for them, happend to get the similar chance again recently and took it. So he is and will be never home anyway. And while I do have my garden and my dogs and horses and handball and books and what not, I would likely be bored to death home alone. </p><p></p><p>Still undecided, but i think you can tell where I have laid my heart (my brains may disagree though.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 655674, member: 14557"] I'm not looking forward of menopause nor getting older at all, I have to say. I'm very physical person and I really hate the idea what all I have to give up in coming years. If lucky, I can of course continue many of my favourite activities, like running, many years still, but slow demise of my body, losing strength and agility and ability to perform will be very hard for me. I do not deal well with limitations. I have learnt to accept some physical limitations I have, mainly that I'm a woman (though I do enjoy the perks of that), but it has taken some work. I pride myself being strong, agile and fit and having to admit, that there are some things I can't physically do that men, for example my husband, can was something I struggled a bit when young lass. And I did throw quite a tantrum later that day, when almost a decade ago I was trying to move something around in the garden and couldn't and decided I needed to wait till my hubby would be home and Ache offered to help - and was able to easily manoeuvre the thing I couldn't despite all the work I had put into my body. That my then maybe 13 year old boy, who was nothing but long legs and arms and stick thin, was already stronger than I, and just because he was a boy, really angered me. But I have learnt to deal with that. But I do wake up to nightmares were I wake up in old woman's body. And while I very well know, that is, how it will be one day, it frightens me silly. I have always been lucky with female hormones. They have worked well for me. Never caused me much bother. If I'm not using hormonal contraception, there are couple days every month when there are lots of attractive men everywhere, but that, and falling instantly, deeply and madly in love with couple ugly, bloody maggots that midwife laid to my breast before the cord was cut, are about the only tricks my hormones have played with me. I will not grieve loss of fertility, I think, but I will grieve my strong, agile body. I have always, well after some teenage issues, found myself reasonably attractive and I have to say that I do enjoy, when men notice that. But it hasn't been that important to me ever. I can live without that. But losing my ability to move and perform, that will be a bitter pill. My crossroad with career; I have not yet truly decided, and maybe I will not have a chance to make any decisions, but I'm very strongly considering giving it a go. I have a good job. It served me well, when kids were young and hubby was building his career. I have great workmates and I enjoy going to work. My work does have a meaning, it is not just to make shareholders richer, but to actually, if for the very small part, make a difference in the world. It pays okayish, good compensation for lost free time. And it is very stable. Work itself is however boring and repetitive, does not challenge me much. Going for PhD can be considered just a hobby. I have taken some time off from work to facilitate it at times, but still, if I leave it to that, it was just a hobby. Or I could try to pursue that. Try to pursue those few positions available to continue on that road. More work, significantly worse hours, worse pay, significantly worse job security, much more competitive environment. But also excitement and thrill. But I'm seriously considering it. Especially because my hubby, who almost decade ago turned down 'once in the lifetime'-chance at work, because kids were heading to their teens and he didn't want to be that dad, who is never there for them, never in their games, never having time for them, happend to get the similar chance again recently and took it. So he is and will be never home anyway. And while I do have my garden and my dogs and horses and handball and books and what not, I would likely be bored to death home alone. Still undecided, but i think you can tell where I have laid my heart (my brains may disagree though.) [/QUOTE]
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