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I'm gonna remember all the things my "friends" and "family" have done to hurt me
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 642240" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Oh,honey, I so understand how you feel. And I don't blame you.</p><p></p><p>But I want to just maybe toss this out at you.</p><p></p><p>Anger hurts nobody but US. It is better, in my opinion, to let go of the anger and move on with our life. If something comes up and somebody was unkind to you and you don't want to bear the burden of taking care of an abuser of yours, just don't do it, but not in anger. Don't do it because it is not in your best interests to be around them. So many people take care of their abusers until the end, hoping for love, but it doesn't work so I agree with your premise. I just would not do it to "get back" at them.</p><p></p><p>When my mother had brain cancer I did not visit or help. She had cut me out of her life and been cruel even before that. I allowed my sister, who had a relationship with her, to do that. She grumbled about doing all of this herself, but my mother and I had no relationship. I did not feel badly about letting Sis do the work. Like you, I won't be there when you need me if we have never had a relationship that was warm and loving. But it isn't out of anger or revenge. It is because I want to protect myself and I'm not a martyr. Or a hypocrite.</p><p></p><p>Your abusers are not worth the emotion of anger because it takes up too much of your time. Enjoy your life. Don't waste time on them. You also don't owe them anything. But I would not be thinking that I'm teaching them a lesson or anything like that. I think that I am like a stranger and that it is not my place. I refuse to let my abusers put hate and anger and revenge in my heart. I won't give them that power over me. </p><p></p><p>Hugs and try to feel peaceful tonight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 642240, member: 1550"] Oh,honey, I so understand how you feel. And I don't blame you. But I want to just maybe toss this out at you. Anger hurts nobody but US. It is better, in my opinion, to let go of the anger and move on with our life. If something comes up and somebody was unkind to you and you don't want to bear the burden of taking care of an abuser of yours, just don't do it, but not in anger. Don't do it because it is not in your best interests to be around them. So many people take care of their abusers until the end, hoping for love, but it doesn't work so I agree with your premise. I just would not do it to "get back" at them. When my mother had brain cancer I did not visit or help. She had cut me out of her life and been cruel even before that. I allowed my sister, who had a relationship with her, to do that. She grumbled about doing all of this herself, but my mother and I had no relationship. I did not feel badly about letting Sis do the work. Like you, I won't be there when you need me if we have never had a relationship that was warm and loving. But it isn't out of anger or revenge. It is because I want to protect myself and I'm not a martyr. Or a hypocrite. Your abusers are not worth the emotion of anger because it takes up too much of your time. Enjoy your life. Don't waste time on them. You also don't owe them anything. But I would not be thinking that I'm teaching them a lesson or anything like that. I think that I am like a stranger and that it is not my place. I refuse to let my abusers put hate and anger and revenge in my heart. I won't give them that power over me. Hugs and try to feel peaceful tonight. [/QUOTE]
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I'm gonna remember all the things my "friends" and "family" have done to hurt me
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