Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I'm gonna remember all the things my "friends" and "family" have done to hurt me
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="GuideMe" data-source="post: 642455" data-attributes="member: 18233"><p>I agree with everything you said, except, I do wish them to feel the same pain I felt. No more , no less and no different. I want them to feel <em><strong><u>exactly</u></strong></em> what they have made me feel and the only way to do that is to disappear when and if they need me the most. Whether or not they can actually feel that pain, I really do not know, I agree with you that it's possible they could not, but they also could. I imagine if they ever came knocking on my door, it must mean that they were pretty desperate and if I turned them away, they would have absolutely no one. They would have to suffer with whatever it is they were suffering with, all alone which can be worse than the fifth circle of hell itself. That in itself would bring pain, and deservingly so. That would be <strong><em><u>more</u></em></strong> than enough justice for me. I hate to say it, but that would make me feel a hell of lot better. It would actually take my anger away and then I would be able to truly and sincerely forgive. It wouldn't be the forgiveness we talk about now a days such as we see on Oprah. For example, Forgive them for yourself, not for them , it will take away your anger. I tried it and it never took away my anger. In all honesty, that's blah, blah, blah talk to me. It's easy for Oprah to say that because she became a billionaire, famous, well respected which hence, righted all of the wrongs ever done to her. She's doing amazingly well. No strife. However, other people such as myself are still in strife. Still suffering. I also whole-heartedly believe that forgiveness is actually for the other person which is the way I <strong><em><u>want</u></em></strong> it to be. If I have done some one really wrong, I want them to forgive ME. I want to be able to TRULY forgive that other person. So I feel in order for that to happen, some karma needs to happen. Karma also means justice. I also need to feel that they were truly sorry for what they have done in order for true forgiveness to occur. That's just ME though. I don't expect anyone else to feel this way, just saying how I feel. Once they go through the storm and they come out on the other side, and if it made them a better person, I would actually even consider being their friend again, of course, with MAJOR boundaries in place.</p><p></p><p>I know it's hard for many people to understand me, but I've lived a very hard and excruciating painful life and still am. The suffering has never truly ended for me. I never even gotten a break. I am not trying to play the "woe is me" violin, but I am not going to dismiss it either, my life and story counts just as much as anyone elses. I don't even have a husband, a SO, no friends, health is poor, I have pain in places you wish to never have pain in, I lived on the poverty line most of my life. And that doesn't even cover the abuse I had to endure. I know you have lived a very hard life to MWM, but please don't take this away from me right now. I am just asking for understanding. Get to know me a little and why I have the opinions I have and say the things I've said. I have found comfort in this forum and invested a lot of myself and eventually. I wish for a time in the future in here, that I do not have to explain myself. That you all just "get me".</p><p></p><p>I do apologize though, I re-read the original post and I could see how it came across. I have such a hard time communicating things correctly the first time around. Probably a big problem I have in "real life". But that just goes back to no one really knows me and therefore, don't get me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="GuideMe, post: 642455, member: 18233"] I agree with everything you said, except, I do wish them to feel the same pain I felt. No more , no less and no different. I want them to feel [I][B][U]exactly[/U][/B][/I] what they have made me feel and the only way to do that is to disappear when and if they need me the most. Whether or not they can actually feel that pain, I really do not know, I agree with you that it's possible they could not, but they also could. I imagine if they ever came knocking on my door, it must mean that they were pretty desperate and if I turned them away, they would have absolutely no one. They would have to suffer with whatever it is they were suffering with, all alone which can be worse than the fifth circle of hell itself. That in itself would bring pain, and deservingly so. That would be [B][I][U]more[/U][/I][/B] than enough justice for me. I hate to say it, but that would make me feel a hell of lot better. It would actually take my anger away and then I would be able to truly and sincerely forgive. It wouldn't be the forgiveness we talk about now a days such as we see on Oprah. For example, Forgive them for yourself, not for them , it will take away your anger. I tried it and it never took away my anger. In all honesty, that's blah, blah, blah talk to me. It's easy for Oprah to say that because she became a billionaire, famous, well respected which hence, righted all of the wrongs ever done to her. She's doing amazingly well. No strife. However, other people such as myself are still in strife. Still suffering. I also whole-heartedly believe that forgiveness is actually for the other person which is the way I [B][I][U]want[/U][/I][/B] it to be. If I have done some one really wrong, I want them to forgive ME. I want to be able to TRULY forgive that other person. So I feel in order for that to happen, some karma needs to happen. Karma also means justice. I also need to feel that they were truly sorry for what they have done in order for true forgiveness to occur. That's just ME though. I don't expect anyone else to feel this way, just saying how I feel. Once they go through the storm and they come out on the other side, and if it made them a better person, I would actually even consider being their friend again, of course, with MAJOR boundaries in place. I know it's hard for many people to understand me, but I've lived a very hard and excruciating painful life and still am. The suffering has never truly ended for me. I never even gotten a break. I am not trying to play the "woe is me" violin, but I am not going to dismiss it either, my life and story counts just as much as anyone elses. I don't even have a husband, a SO, no friends, health is poor, I have pain in places you wish to never have pain in, I lived on the poverty line most of my life. And that doesn't even cover the abuse I had to endure. I know you have lived a very hard life to MWM, but please don't take this away from me right now. I am just asking for understanding. Get to know me a little and why I have the opinions I have and say the things I've said. I have found comfort in this forum and invested a lot of myself and eventually. I wish for a time in the future in here, that I do not have to explain myself. That you all just "get me". I do apologize though, I re-read the original post and I could see how it came across. I have such a hard time communicating things correctly the first time around. Probably a big problem I have in "real life". But that just goes back to no one really knows me and therefore, don't get me. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I'm gonna remember all the things my "friends" and "family" have done to hurt me
Top