I'm having the worst time.....

Suz

(the future) MRS. GERE
Linda, when my father died I couldn't talk about it, let alone write about it, for years. When my Mom died I was so flattened with grief it simply never occurred to me to write a thank you note.

Your family and friends will understand.

Suz
 

Ropefree

Banned
TimerLady: I admire your intention to keep up with all those people and you have answered your own question. have a friend with you when you do them. The friend will be happy to have someway to be with you at this time, and the two of you will have something to do.
when one of my friends lost her husband she said I am fine so much and would decline. One day she called asking if I had coin rolls. I went to the bank and spent some time rolling change...over seventy dollars in change. And then I went and paid her phone bill with it. Your friends are the ones who are going to lighten up things for a minute. And as a friend let me tell you that it is also ok if you do very little. IF ediquette says a widow sends cards the fine print says she can have help and the helpers can do most of the work. Stuff envelopes, lick and seal even hold your pen up and remind your fingers what to do.
Also I brought kleenex when I visited my freind. The kind with lotion. Be sure to let your friend know how you want your kleenex..with or without lotion.
maybe getting this part done is just what you need and if that is what you feel then keep on with it little by little, over tea with friends. Take care of yourself and do it as you feel.
 

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
Thank you all. I'm probably pushing things more than I should. I find myself buried in so much "administrative" stuff, I just thought I should handle the thank you's before I forgot.

I guess I just needed to forget for a bit. I'm terrified for the future & have just been dwelling on the present.

Next time I sit down to do this I'm calling one of you & putting you on speaker phone while I write these notes out. So be warned!;)
 

Shari

IsItFridayYet?
Ring away.
***
When my dad passed, we had over 500 thank you's to write, so my mom and siblings split them up and sat around the table writing them. Towards the end, it was even therapeutic.
***
To lighten the mood, someone wrote a thank you to my aunt in "text" lingo (started out with something like 'thank you 4 the $') knowing she would understand the need to lighten the mood. Its still something she laughs about receiving.
***
Even in the bad times, we found some good memories.
 

Steely

Active Member
Oh girl........
The thank you notes were the very, hardest when H died. I just could not bring myself to do them, for weeks. Yet, a lot of people gave money to H.'s foundation, and I could not just let them think we had ignored it. Finally, 2 months after she passed, I psyched myself up, and just did a marathon blitz, trying to be as brain numb as possible, and I just copied the same note over and over.

I know how hard it is. Writing a note was yet another sign that her death was real. For you, I am sure it is the same. Give yourself some time, and know you have a pretty large grace period when it comes to things like this.

Hugs.
 

cadydid

New Member
I think everyone will understand if a thank you note does not arrive in the first few weeks after the loss. There is so much that has to be done.. not to mention it still be so new.. They should understand that you taking care of you and the family is more important.

There is plenty of time to write them.. don't stress about doing it now.. take care of you.. that's whats most important now.
 

WhymeMom?

No real answers to life..
I don't think people are looking for a long message on your thank you's. If you absolutely feel you must get these done I would just go with a short message to all---Thank you for thinking of my family during this difficult time. But I also don't feel people are necessarily expecting a thank you immediately, if they care about you they would understand how difficult it may be for you.
 

Ropefree

Banned
Timer Lady: I think you are getting the point now. Writing thank you notes is a way to stay in the present. And it reminds you all the people who do care very much who are here with you who want you surrounded in the comfort of condolences and love as you grieve and grow on.
 
Top