I'm heartbroken

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterbee, Nov 10, 2007.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I've been wrestling with this decision for a couple of months, but it's gotten to the point where I have to act.

    I have to take Baby Kitty (her name is Holly, but we've always called her Baby Kitty) to the humane society today. :crying: She's always been an odd cat and I've never bonded with her like with my other pets, but I'm just devastated. The vet thinks she may have been orphaned and bottle raised and not properly socialized. (We adopted her from the humane society at 3 months. She's 8 years old now.) She needs to be in a home with no other cats.

    Her behavior recently has been erratic. She is going after my other cats in a big way. She starts it and then is the one that ends up wounded and I can't afford the vet bills. And I've tried everything I know to try to calm things down and change the behavior. Nothing has worked. She goes after Baby Abbey and then Puddles goes after her in Abbey's defense. Baby Abbey has kidney disease and the humane society would just put her down. And Baby Abbey is too little to defend herself. She's 6 months old and the kitten collar fastened on the last hook just now fits her.

    I just hate this. If anyone has any ideas, I'll gladly try them. I don't want to do this. :crying:
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    You asked for ideas.

    You did not say they had to be good ones.

    Is there a room/basement/area in the house that Holly can be put in?

    Some years ago, when our cat Kitana was fixed, her brother Johnny Cage would NOT leave her alone, so we had to put him in the basement while she healed. We got one extra litter box and food dish, and we all took turns spending time with him throughout the day.

    Yes? No?

    I hope we can figure something out. In case I haven't mentioned it, I heart kitty cats.

    <span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'>=^..^=</span>
  3. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I can't put her in the basement here because there is a kitty door cut into the basement door and I would have to block it off. The basement door is right by the door going to the garage, so if I block it off we can't get out to the garage. And when I move December 1, I won't have a basement.

    Baby Kitty really doesn't like closed doors. I have chunks of carpet missing around the door frames.

    For the past year or so, she's been spending most of her time in my room. She'd come down to eat and use the litter box, but hung out mainly in my room. The last couple of months she's been coming downstairs just to go after the other cats. And I'm not talking a little tussell. I'm talking knock-down, drag-out cat fight complete with the screaming and fur flying. Then she reappears (cause you don't mess with her til she's calmed down...unlike my other cats) and she has injuries on her face. She's let me clean them up and put antibiotic ointment on.

    Baby Kitty is one of those cats where you don't make any sudden movements. She had an abscess on her neck a few years ago and I tried to pick her up to put her in the carrier to take her to the vet. She pulled half of my fingernail out of the nail bed with one swipe. When she needs antibiotics, I have to get them in liquid form and I mix it in with tuna. This is one cat I am not giving a pill to. Now when she needs to go to the vet, I leave the carrier open in the middle of the room with a blanket laid inside and wait for her to go in. Luckily, cats like little cubby holes to curl up in.

    I've been giving her extra attention cause I thought it might be jealousy, however not when she's attacked the other cats. I wait until later when she's calmed down and then give her lots of attention. And I try to keep her separated from the others as much as possible. She's only been this way with one other cat. I took that one in cause he was deaf and his owners were going to take him to the humane society. She seems to like the 'easy' targets.

    I don't think I can go through with this. I have to figure something out. I may not have bonded with her, but she's very neurotic. I really think she has neurological deficiencies. You just have to see her to understand. When we moved into this house in 2002, she spent the first week behind the furnace in the basement...wouldn't come out. I just don't think she'd do well going to the humane society. I have to find a way to make this work. I just can't do this to her.
  4. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh noooo....I love kitties too. But I do understand that some animals just aren't quite right in their little noggin, and they force us to make some choices we would rather not make.

    I had to put down my dog about 7 years ago, because he attacked my son's friend. It was horrible. However, I have to say, not as horrible as this child's mangled arm, and the recovery he had to go through. The entire situation called for someone of immense strength and objectivity, and someone without emotion to decide, what the right thing was, so all could be protected.

    So, as horrible as it is, I do understand having to protect your other kitties. It is a very, very difficult choice, but I know you will have the strength to do it.

    As one more ditch effort, have you thought about grooming her to be an outside kitty? Sometimes these kind of cats are happier outside, where they can successfully defend their territory. Or putting an ad on Craigs List or at the local vet to find her a single kitty home, or a farm?

  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    She would never make it as an outside kitty. She's too afraid of everything. She got out once by accident several years ago (she and Cassie looked a lot alike and easy child accidentally let her out thinking it was Cassie who did go outside when she wanted). She was missing for a week. I put flyers on everyone's mailbox, knocked on doors, etc. Cassie finally brought her home. Baby Kitty has not even tried to get out since.

    If I can't make this work, I'll do as you suggested, WW, and find her a home myself. I know the humane society will put cats that don't do well in the kennel into foster families, but that's just too much moving around for her.
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Yeah, I know our Pet stores, like Petco and PetSmart have a whole board of adoption notices for animals. You might try there first, as well as Craigs List, which also has multiple listings.

    Good Luck.........I tell you! Animals! I decided Wed night, after my puppy was attacked by another dog, that perhaps I just might love my lil babies too, too much. I could not stop sobbing all night, and my pup was fine. It was just the "what ifs" that totally unraveled me! But what are we gonna do??? Love less?? Pretty sure that we have no control over how they take over our hearts and souls. Thus the beauty of animals.
  7. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member

    sorry. Ihad to give my cat up, but my stepmom's sister took her. I get reports and pics. Do you know someone who could take her?
  8. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Oh, gosh. This is hard. Wish I had a brilliant resolution for you but I don't.
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE


    Heather, I don't know where you live in Ohio but there must be some No-kill kitty rescues somewhere nearby. The above is a link to one. If you click on the link, look to the left and you can put in search info near your zipcode. Then, if you click on the link to the rescues there should be contact information.

    I'm sorry about kitty. :sad:

  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Give Freecycle a try or Craig's List before you make the decision to put her down. Specify that she can't live with other pets and why.

    We've had great luck with Craig's List.

    Also do a search for local animal rescue groups. They might be able to take her and find her a good home that is other pet free.

    We had to put down a pup we adopted from our shelter. She was sick when we got her, vet doctered her. But then we realized she'd been used as a target dog for dog fighting. Since she was so young.... only 8 weeks we hoped she could overcome that. Sadly she didn't and only became more vicious with time. The worst day of my life was when we had to put her to sleep. If it hadn't been for her awful beginnings, she'd made a wonderful dog. :frown:
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Sorry for your heart.

    I recently had to place one of my rats that I intended on keeping because he was wrecking the harmony of the house. Since he's been gone the others are back to normal. Sometimes animals are better at tough love with an animal difficult child than we are with our own kids.

  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

  13. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    More (((hugs)))

    We had to put down our pup a few years ago. He was neurotic and all sorts of things I can't even go into here, but the last straw was that he started nipping. He was only 9, but he had already become a little skitzy from one too many homes (he was a rescue dog) so the vet agreed that putting him down was best.

    Hope you're able to find Holly a home.
  14. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this!

    I'll be thinking of you!

  15. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Well, after the big knock-down, drag-out fight yesterday, Baby Kitty spent the rest of the day in hiding and all day today in my room. Maybe she finally realized that Puddles isn't going to put up with her antagonizing Abbey anymore.

    The humane society is a no-kill shelter which means they don't euthanize for space. They will put down an animal that doesn't adapt to shelter life that can't be fostered for some reason and animals with serious medical conditions. I just know that she wouldn't adapt to shelter life and would freak out in foster care. Then to have to adjust to a new home after that would be too much for her. And, let's face it, there's not a lot of people looking for an 8 year old neurotic cat.

    I will continue to look for a home for her myself, but I don't hold out any hopes. She's just not very adoptable. I'll figure something out.
  16. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member

    I am sorry that you have to wrestle with this difficult issue.

    Would it be possible for you to crate Baby Kitty? Some animals adapt to that and you can let them out for exercise.

    She might even take to a harness type of leash and could be tethered close to food, water, and litter.

    Whatever your choice, you did what you could. For as long as you have her, continue to interact with her, even if it is just to say "hi" to her by name, when you pass by .
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I was thinking that one of the local animal rescues has a huge cat cage. It's big enough for a cat to live in, has a bed, litter box and food and water.

    I hate cages - but it could be an option. It may make lil miss neurotic feel secure. ???

    I can't think cat - I was "biscuitized" this morning by our cat that is really a pig (eats too much) and because I didn't JUST JUMP UP and attend to her every whim- she tore the seam of the carpeting up between the bedroom and the hallway. Carpet is being replaced but not the point - it's not hers. And then I got cat love and rub from an otherwise "you just drop dead human until I need you" cat - and I brushed her off I was angry with her still for the carpet shredding and as I was making my oatmeal - she tore ANOTHER patch of carpet out of the hall. OMG I was livid.

    Like I said it's not that this carpet is wonderful and it is being replaced soon with Berber - but the thought of her tearing the berber up? (thinking) maybe we should get a two fer on the cat cage thing - she'll be walking in mittens for life if she does this further.

    I think it's the water - difficult child cat, difficult child kid. ARGH!
  18. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm so sorry about your cat!!! I truly understand how you feel as I'm a huge animal lover myself. I can't think of any other suggestions than the ones that have already been given to you.

    I just want to let you know I'm thinking about you. I know how hard it is when you have to make difficult decisions concerning "furry" family members. WFEN
  19. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Just a thought Heather.........
    Instead of a crate, or cage, could you put up a double tall baby gate/barrier sort of thing in the hallway so she cannot come downstairs? She could have her food and litter box upstairs, and the other 2 could have their stuff downstairs. Not sure if that would work, but just a thought.