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I'm in a prison again with our third baby, oldest son getting worse
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<blockquote data-quote="PlainJane" data-source="post: 631683" data-attributes="member: 11700"><p>Thank you both. Nothing unusual happened. My husband and I have been together 14 years. Happy marriage. Neither of us have any mental health issues. No alcohol or drug abuse. We don't even fight in front of the kids. We are both happy, moderately social people. Not life of the party, but we have friends and chat with neighbors, hubby is well liked at work etc. (I am home with the kids).</p><p></p><p>Family history is kind of sucky though. My mother is mentally ill. She was never officially diagnosed with anything other than depression, though she is classic borderline. She also has the depressive/manic cycles of a bipolar, so maybe that's the case too. I stopped talking to her nearly a decade ago. Her mental illness, victim mentality and overall toxic personality was horrible. I have been so much happier without her.</p><p></p><p>My husband's grandmother and his sister have classic NPD symptoms. He fully agrees, its not just me hating my in laws lol. His grandmother is dead now, but his sister, who we have no contact with has caused endless issues among his family. His other siblings are aware of her personality issues, but keep low contact.</p><p></p><p>I worry greatly about genetics in this case. Both hubby and I have the genetic potential to be carrying these disorders. I worry we have passed them onto our kids. The problem is, none of these people were officially diagnosed. But from my understanding people with personality disorders are not always diagnoses because they lack the insight into their problems, they think its everybody else.</p><p></p><p>I've never really expressed to my sons doctor about the genetic history. I guess I'm concerned she will hear "I don't like thee people in my family and my husband's family so therefor they are crazy". I feel like without being able to say that a doctor who is qualified to say so, diagnosed these people, that my thoughts on these family members and their personality disorders wont be taken seriously.</p><p></p><p>My husband has expressed that he doesn't feel our sons doctor listens to our concerns. Because our son does not act out in front of her, and because he is not getting is serious trouble at school, it seems they act like we are exaggerating and looking for problems. But both my husband and I see it. And a few other people that my son knows are not in "important positions of power" (like the bus driver) he has shown this true side too. Its like he knows which people he needs to fool and which people cant actually affect him that much.</p><p></p><p>How does he know his at his age? How at such a young age, does he know to put up a fake appearance for the school principal, but knows he can mouth off to the bus driver and get away with it. He's done this, and she has spoken to me, and I believe her, but when she writes him up, it seems they don't take her seriously, because he is "so good" for his regular teachers. He already knows which people have the "power" in the school setting... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>He's not the kind of kid that would hurt someone physically for no reason. Its not a physical aggression, but more of a very sly ability to manipulate the people around him to get what he wants. And if he doesnt get what he wants, he doesn't usually strike out physically, but knows how to turn the table on that person.</p><p>Example, he doesn't get to pick out a treat at the store, so he starts talking very loudly about how he is so hungry and I never let him eat when he's hungry, and at least he can eat in school...all the while smiling and quietly telling me so only I can hear "I'll stop if you let me get a treat".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PlainJane, post: 631683, member: 11700"] Thank you both. Nothing unusual happened. My husband and I have been together 14 years. Happy marriage. Neither of us have any mental health issues. No alcohol or drug abuse. We don't even fight in front of the kids. We are both happy, moderately social people. Not life of the party, but we have friends and chat with neighbors, hubby is well liked at work etc. (I am home with the kids). Family history is kind of sucky though. My mother is mentally ill. She was never officially diagnosed with anything other than depression, though she is classic borderline. She also has the depressive/manic cycles of a bipolar, so maybe that's the case too. I stopped talking to her nearly a decade ago. Her mental illness, victim mentality and overall toxic personality was horrible. I have been so much happier without her. My husband's grandmother and his sister have classic NPD symptoms. He fully agrees, its not just me hating my in laws lol. His grandmother is dead now, but his sister, who we have no contact with has caused endless issues among his family. His other siblings are aware of her personality issues, but keep low contact. I worry greatly about genetics in this case. Both hubby and I have the genetic potential to be carrying these disorders. I worry we have passed them onto our kids. The problem is, none of these people were officially diagnosed. But from my understanding people with personality disorders are not always diagnoses because they lack the insight into their problems, they think its everybody else. I've never really expressed to my sons doctor about the genetic history. I guess I'm concerned she will hear "I don't like thee people in my family and my husband's family so therefor they are crazy". I feel like without being able to say that a doctor who is qualified to say so, diagnosed these people, that my thoughts on these family members and their personality disorders wont be taken seriously. My husband has expressed that he doesn't feel our sons doctor listens to our concerns. Because our son does not act out in front of her, and because he is not getting is serious trouble at school, it seems they act like we are exaggerating and looking for problems. But both my husband and I see it. And a few other people that my son knows are not in "important positions of power" (like the bus driver) he has shown this true side too. Its like he knows which people he needs to fool and which people cant actually affect him that much. How does he know his at his age? How at such a young age, does he know to put up a fake appearance for the school principal, but knows he can mouth off to the bus driver and get away with it. He's done this, and she has spoken to me, and I believe her, but when she writes him up, it seems they don't take her seriously, because he is "so good" for his regular teachers. He already knows which people have the "power" in the school setting... :( He's not the kind of kid that would hurt someone physically for no reason. Its not a physical aggression, but more of a very sly ability to manipulate the people around him to get what he wants. And if he doesnt get what he wants, he doesn't usually strike out physically, but knows how to turn the table on that person. Example, he doesn't get to pick out a treat at the store, so he starts talking very loudly about how he is so hungry and I never let him eat when he's hungry, and at least he can eat in school...all the while smiling and quietly telling me so only I can hear "I'll stop if you let me get a treat". [/QUOTE]
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I'm in a prison again with our third baby, oldest son getting worse
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