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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 633884" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Echo, Ah. </p><p></p><p>I so understand. </p><p></p><p>The first thing that comes to mind, reading your post, is this: We can only take so much. Really. What we can bear is finite. I detest that saying: God only gives you as much as you can stand. That is nowhere in the Bible. People say that, not God, not our Higher Power.</p><p></p><p>There is such a thing as too much. </p><p></p><p>You have been asked to bear too much with difficult child. </p><p></p><p>Another thing that comes to mind is SO and all of his own work with families and parents of adult addict children. He worked as a volunteer for a few years, under the supervision of the experts, in a nationally known rehab center near here. This was part of his own recovery from alcoholism. </p><p></p><p>He tells me stories about parents who tell their grown addicted children: Don't contact me anymore. And then the parents don't hear from them for years. He tells one story of a couple, a highly intelligent, education, fast track professional couple, who have two grown sons who are addicted to drugs. Finally, finally, the couple told them. Don't come here. Don't call here. We don't want to hear from you anymore.</p><p></p><p>There is a cost to this, just as there is a cost to engagement. Just as there is a cost to intermittent contact. Just as there is a benefit and a cost to every choice we make in our lives.</p><p></p><p>You are weighing the cost. You are crying because there IS a cost. And with completely letting him go, releasing him to the Universe, to your Higher Power, to the forces of Nature, to the forces out there, is hard, and sad and just so terribly....final. </p><p></p><p>But I so understand. </p><p></p><p>The lure of being done is so very appealing. I so understand.</p><p></p><p>You are where you are today, Echo. You don't have to Decide. You can Lean Into this idea, this feeling, this maybe-decision, for a while, and just feel it and try it on for size.</p><p></p><p>Then, you can walk toward it and claim it, or you can say, not now.</p><p></p><p>We can only bear so much, Echo. I am here with you. We are here with you. You are not alone in this. Warm, tight hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 633884, member: 17542"] Echo, Ah. I so understand. The first thing that comes to mind, reading your post, is this: We can only take so much. Really. What we can bear is finite. I detest that saying: God only gives you as much as you can stand. That is nowhere in the Bible. People say that, not God, not our Higher Power. There is such a thing as too much. You have been asked to bear too much with difficult child. Another thing that comes to mind is SO and all of his own work with families and parents of adult addict children. He worked as a volunteer for a few years, under the supervision of the experts, in a nationally known rehab center near here. This was part of his own recovery from alcoholism. He tells me stories about parents who tell their grown addicted children: Don't contact me anymore. And then the parents don't hear from them for years. He tells one story of a couple, a highly intelligent, education, fast track professional couple, who have two grown sons who are addicted to drugs. Finally, finally, the couple told them. Don't come here. Don't call here. We don't want to hear from you anymore. There is a cost to this, just as there is a cost to engagement. Just as there is a cost to intermittent contact. Just as there is a benefit and a cost to every choice we make in our lives. You are weighing the cost. You are crying because there IS a cost. And with completely letting him go, releasing him to the Universe, to your Higher Power, to the forces of Nature, to the forces out there, is hard, and sad and just so terribly....final. But I so understand. The lure of being done is so very appealing. I so understand. You are where you are today, Echo. You don't have to Decide. You can Lean Into this idea, this feeling, this maybe-decision, for a while, and just feel it and try it on for size. Then, you can walk toward it and claim it, or you can say, not now. We can only bear so much, Echo. I am here with you. We are here with you. You are not alone in this. Warm, tight hugs. [/QUOTE]
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