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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 634105" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>There may be an element of this here...who I have to be is some one who gives more than she has to give in order to have difficult child in my life. Often he doesn't even ask for stuff...I guess I can rephrase and say...I tolerate and accommodate more than I have in me to do so. I use up all my reserves just putting up with his presence..and then I get irritable and snappy with my pcs, with my SO, with my dogs. It has always been so. He has always been the straw that broke the camels back. When he was little, it just was a thing to be dealt with. Now that he is grown, a parasite on society, a slug on the earth, begging, pissing in the words, sleeping amid trash, smelly, begging, taking handouts WITH NO EARTHLY DESIRE OR INTENT TO DO ANYTHING ELSE...and, when he has doubt or fear about his choices, he quells them with whatever drug is handly, with the drug addled assurances of his street friends, who will move on soon enough..next train, next flophouse, next arrest. A society of transient blots just like him.</p><p></p><p>But I digress. Now that he is grown, and is a person I cannot like, I cannot tolerate even slightly having my emotional resources drained. So yes, to some extent, it is about the person I have to be to have him around.</p><p></p><p>That is a good thought, Cedar. If he were tolerable, would it be better? But what sane soul would tolerate him? Even the bridge dwellers rejected him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 634105, member: 17269"] There may be an element of this here...who I have to be is some one who gives more than she has to give in order to have difficult child in my life. Often he doesn't even ask for stuff...I guess I can rephrase and say...I tolerate and accommodate more than I have in me to do so. I use up all my reserves just putting up with his presence..and then I get irritable and snappy with my pcs, with my SO, with my dogs. It has always been so. He has always been the straw that broke the camels back. When he was little, it just was a thing to be dealt with. Now that he is grown, a parasite on society, a slug on the earth, begging, pissing in the words, sleeping amid trash, smelly, begging, taking handouts WITH NO EARTHLY DESIRE OR INTENT TO DO ANYTHING ELSE...and, when he has doubt or fear about his choices, he quells them with whatever drug is handly, with the drug addled assurances of his street friends, who will move on soon enough..next train, next flophouse, next arrest. A society of transient blots just like him. But I digress. Now that he is grown, and is a person I cannot like, I cannot tolerate even slightly having my emotional resources drained. So yes, to some extent, it is about the person I have to be to have him around. That is a good thought, Cedar. If he were tolerable, would it be better? But what sane soul would tolerate him? Even the bridge dwellers rejected him. [/QUOTE]
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