I'm in Real Trouble Now!!!!

[LittleDudesMom]

So I'm driving difficult child to school this morning. We're only in the car for five minutes so it doesn't give us a lot of time for deep converdations - but we do have some good ones. Here's the conversation from this morning.

"Mom, I've decided I really want to live in our house."

"Well difficult child, that's good, because you do!"

"I mean I want to live in our house forever. I want to live there with you when I grow up so I can take care of you and you won't be lonely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

:surprise: :faint: :surprise: :faint: :surprise: :faint: :surprise: :faint: :surprise: :faint: :surprise: :faint: :surprise: :faint:

What if he had a dream last night about what the future holds :hypnosis: ?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

I didn't know what to say so I just smiled over at him and he smiled back . Then he said, "I'm not going away for college either. I'm going to go right here in sdlfjsdlksd!"

By that time, we were in front of his school and he hopped out after a hug and kiss.

I drove home torn between wondering if his words were going to be prophetic and thinking what a sweet kid he can be :smile:

Sharon

 

[Alisonlg]

OMG...M tells me that all the time...and I smile on the outside while in the inside I'm screaming with dread! LOL He goes on and on and on about how he's going to live here with us forever and never leave and yada, yada, yada. Lord help me if he doesn't move out at 18! LOL

 

[everywoman]

Go ahead and laugh now. It isn't so funny when their 19 and still feel that way--LOL! I have even considered buying him a small trailor and putting it somewhere so he will leave for good!

 

[Sara PA]

Relax, by the time he's 15 he will believe absolutely that he doesn't need you and can move into his own place. :laugh:

Then between 18 and 22 (if you are lucky) they will be like yoyos, wanting to be gone and wanting to be there. If you aren't lucky, that will still be going on as they approach 30.

 

[CCRidr2]

We have 3 kids here's my take on where and when they go to college based on their personalities:

easy child 1-going to go as far away for college as she can :smile:

easy child 2-Momma's boy going to college somewhere near enough to come home for laundry and care packages (smart kid, huh) :thumb:

difficult child-going to college in town and living with us or right across the street for the REST OF HIS LIFE!:nonono: :surprise:

I KNOW how you feel!! :slap:

Cyndi

 

[Steely]

I have had the same conversation a zillion times with my difficult child as well.........and each time I reiterated my fear based response of......
"Oh, sweetie, that is nice, but you will be on your own when you are 18, because that is just what people do. You will want that, and so will I. I know it is a long time from now, but you will be ready."
Now he is 16, and still petrified of the thought of autonomy! Yikes! I agree with KatMom - and have had the trailer idea myself.

Sharon, I am pretty sure your little guy is not projecting his vision of your future, but rather projecting his fears of autonomy. Don't worry, I think at some point they all grow up and are ready to leave. Some just need more pushing than others....and some will always be momma's boys, and want to be close by.........but we are the ones who can enforce those boundarie when the time comes. Fortunately they don't have the priveledge of deciding their future residence is in our home, and fortunately we are still the landlords!

 

[JJJ]

Like Cyndi's mine are each different,

Kanga - is trying to earn a scholarship to prep school so she can leave us early :smile:

Eeyore - willing to go away to college as long as he can come home on weekends and check on us, then he is buying a big house with an apartment for husband and I to live in, so he can feed us :rolleyes:

Piglet - very goal orientated, will go where her ambition leads her :smile:

Tigger - still co-sleeping, hoping to have him in own bed by 18, let alone out of the house LOL :hammer:

 

[skeeter]

We had an elderly aunt that had never married, but stayed home to take care of her widowed mother - then just lived by herself after her mother died. When the aunt died, I explained to my boys why she had never married - how "back then" in big families it was common for one of the girls to not marry and stay home to take care of the parents.

I then told MY guys that neither of them should feel NOT feel required to do so - that at age 18, they can go on their merry way! And to not let the door hit them in the rear on their way out!!!

Of course, NF has known since he was 12 that he wanted to be an air craft mechanic and wanted to join the service. When someone asked his younger brother if HE was like his older one - knowing what he wanted to do, HE said yeah, he was going to be one of those kids that at age 50 live in their parents' basement and play video games all day!!! I DON'T THINK SO!!!!

 

[On_Call]

Our difficult child has said the same thing. I usually say something along the lines of "that's nice, difficult child, but one day you will change your mind and that's okay". lol. From my lips to God's ears, right?

easy child says she wants to live in this house forever, too, but she has big plans to paint the house purple and roof pink.

 

[donna723]

I remember when my son was about three years old he told me once that he was NEVER leaving! He had it all planned out. He would live in our house with us until he got married. Then, he would build a little house in our back yard for himself and the wife to live in - but he would still come to our house every night for dinner! I guess the little "wife" would be on her own to microwave a "frozen thing"!
:salute:
Fast-forward a few years, and this was the exact same kid who was already trying to ease out the door when he was still in high school!

 

[Wiped Out]

Sharon, :surprise:
How sweet that he wanted to stay to take care of you. Of course, if my difficult child would say he was staying forever, it would be more than I could take.

 

[SRL]

May you have a long and happy life together. :eek:

 

[Suz]

Rob used to say the same thing when he was your difficult child's age. And he meant them.

Until he was 15.

Suz

 

[SRL]

Suz, did he ever say things like "I am the ruler of this house." or "It's not MY fault!" repeatedly?

 

[busywend]

My difficult child still says it now and then. But, in the next breathe she says she can not wait to get out from under her parents roofs. I guess I am doing my job if she keeps saying the 2nd one! LOL!

 

[Suz]

Suz, did he ever say things like "I am the ruler of this house." or "It's not MY fault!" repeatedly?

Add in "I hate you" and those were the kinds of things he was saying when he was 15...until he got arrested, taken away, and never lived at home again...

Suz

 

[Hound dog]

I wouldn't worry too much.

N used to be determined she was going to grow up and marry her Daddy.

Now she can barely tolerate being in the same room with him. :rofl:

 

[Stella Johnson]

My difficult child has said the same thing several times before. I told her if she doesn't move out when she is grown, I am moving. :rofl:

steph

 

[Martie]

Sharon,

I think difficult child loves you very much and wants you to be happy....whether or not living with him would make you happy is another question entirely :smile:

Personally, I wanted both my kids to go far from home for the college years and I got my wish. To me, it's part of growing up--I did it, husband did it, and I hope it will work for our kids, too.

Martie

 

[flutterbee]

difficult child has told me since she could talk that she was never leaving me - that she wanted to live with me forever. That hasn't changed yet. easy child on the other hand can't get out fast enough. Or so he says. We'll see. He's such a homebody.