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Substance Abuse
Im new here and need support!
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 668123" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>OK first of all..... forgive yourself for the past. Yes own up to it, but dont let the guilt take over. All you can do is move forward from here and be the good father is sounds like you have become. We all make mistakes. And I believe I have been a good mom and my son still ended up a drug addict...... and I went through some periods of trying to figure out where I went wrong and finally came to the conclusion that wasnt helping me or him.</p><p></p><p>So it sounds like you have got your priorities straight, you need to protect your 17 year old daughter. Somewhere is right, you cant control your sons drug use and trying to will get you nowhere. However you can set boundaries for your home and certainly where and how you are willing to help him financially. If he is using drugs then you want no part of helping having or use a car.</p><p></p><p>Pay no attention to the awful things he says... if what he says are true then just calmly say I am sorry for my mistakes if they hurt you..... dont justfiy them.... but we need to go on from here. If your son at some points wants therapy for the past then be willing to go and work on whatever.... but in the meantime let him know you love him but you cant have that kind of behavior in your house.</p><p></p><p>I will say from experience that they will say awful awful things to you to try and manipulate you.... so you have to just let it roll off you and not take it seriously. I have been through that with my son.....and after awhile they learn that they wont get what they want by manipulating you with words.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 668123, member: 15801"] OK first of all..... forgive yourself for the past. Yes own up to it, but dont let the guilt take over. All you can do is move forward from here and be the good father is sounds like you have become. We all make mistakes. And I believe I have been a good mom and my son still ended up a drug addict...... and I went through some periods of trying to figure out where I went wrong and finally came to the conclusion that wasnt helping me or him. So it sounds like you have got your priorities straight, you need to protect your 17 year old daughter. Somewhere is right, you cant control your sons drug use and trying to will get you nowhere. However you can set boundaries for your home and certainly where and how you are willing to help him financially. If he is using drugs then you want no part of helping having or use a car. Pay no attention to the awful things he says... if what he says are true then just calmly say I am sorry for my mistakes if they hurt you..... dont justfiy them.... but we need to go on from here. If your son at some points wants therapy for the past then be willing to go and work on whatever.... but in the meantime let him know you love him but you cant have that kind of behavior in your house. I will say from experience that they will say awful awful things to you to try and manipulate you.... so you have to just let it roll off you and not take it seriously. I have been through that with my son.....and after awhile they learn that they wont get what they want by manipulating you with words. Keep posting. [/QUOTE]
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