I'm new, I'm overwhelmed

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Helena, Dec 21, 2007.

  1. Helena

    Helena New Member

    My name is Helena, mother to 4, with #5 on the way. My oldedst daughter is 7, my oldest DS (difficult child) is 6, my other daughter is 3, and my other DS is 18 months, baby boy is due in April.

    Filling out a sensory profile and bahavior plan from the school, they've come up with ADHD, ODD, Conduct Disorder and mild depression. They did an ABC observation.

    I don't know what to say, do, anything. So any advise would be great. If there's something you want to know, ask, I don't even know where to start!!!

  2. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    I'm confused, was it the school that came up with this diagnosis?
  3. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    By the way, WELCOME! I forgot to welcome you first...sorry. This is a wonderful place. At the very least you won't feel so alone and on this board we all try to help each other through tough times and also celebrate when one of our difficult children are doing better. The moms and dads on our board are experienced and there's nothing anyone can come up with that one of us hasn't already been there. You've come to the right place!
  4. happymomof2

    happymomof2 New Member

    (((Helena))), hugs and welcome. Overwhelmed??? Gee why?? 4 kids and 1 on the way :smile:.

    I only have 2 kids and I am overwhelmed.

    Welcome again, you have found a safe place to vent, get information and support.
  5. Helena

    Helena New Member

    He went for a neuro-psychiatric evaluation (referred at my request by our pediatrician. a bahavior specialist) and within 45 minutes, this doctor was slinging out ADHD and ODD. The school has requested that report, which was never sent to me. And honestly, I am not sure I want them to have it. Maybe I am wrong, but that seems like such a "blanket diagnosis".

    I have a TST meeting at the school on Jan 3rd. I am sure they'll explain the repot then, it's full of percentiles and stuff. Growth percentiles I understand, but these? I'm lost! Do they mean that _% of children are worse, or better than DS?
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Helena, welcome! I'm glad you found us.

    I have some questions for you that I hope will help us point you in the right direction.
    How many hours did the neuropsychologist do testing? What kind of tests? Can you post the names of them?
    What kind of behaviors are you seeing that concern you?
    How does he do at school, both academically and with peers?
    Any speech or developmental delays?
    Any sensory issues (for example, bothered by clothing tags, loud noises or food textures)?
    Any mental health issues or substance abuse in the family tree?

    Again, welcome.
  7. tammyjh

    tammyjh New Member

    Welcome to the board...its a great group.

    I would get a copy of the neuropsychologist exam for my own records and for my own interpretation. I always get all the paperwork I can get may hands on after any evaluations. Then, husband and I pour over them and brainstorm together before any more meetings come up. Yeah, we're a strange couple.lol.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi, Helena, welcome to the board.
    In my honest opinion, I"m shocked that a neuropsychologist (ours tested my son for TWELVE HOURS) diagnosed your child in 45 minutes. I don't really believe that it's possible to diagnose a child that fast. Our neuropsychologist tested my son extensively and saw him six times. Sounds like a lemon, unfortunately. I'd try another neuropsychologist because, in general, they are very thorough in their evaluations. Sounds like this one just cut corners or maybe got lazy and said what the behavioral psychologist wanted him to say. in my opinion that's just not enough testing and there really is no test for ODD, so he HAD to have picked that up from the psychologist, right??? How do YOU feel about the findings? I always tell moms to go with their gut feeling. If mama thinks it don't feel right, it probably ain't.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Welcome to the board. :flower:

    My son's neuropsychologist testing took 8-9 hrs. I think 8-12 is typical. I agree with midwest mom and am a bit skeptical about a diagnosis handed out in only 45 mins time.

    Do you feel like the dxes "fit" your child?

    I have copies of every doctor report on my kids. (yes, I keep my own files) Best advice I can give you is for you to insist on having your own copy. You won't believe how handy it can be. And if you don't agree with it you can have it looked at by someone else.

    Is this the school's neuropsychologist or one you found privately?

    Glad you found us!


  10. Helena

    Helena New Member

    How many hours did the neuropsychologist do testing?
    we were there for like 45 minutes total.

    What kind of tests?
    tests?? He only talked to me, watched Ben climb on the chairs, and move them because he didn't want to be there, then he threw the markers, and watched me distract him by building a tower with them (stacking them cap to end). Ben wouldn't talk to him.

    Can you post the names of them?

    there weren't any!!! UGH!!!

    What kind of behaviors are you seeing that concern you?

    the aggressivness, the self stimulation(vocal "thraot noises" and bouncing, etc), the not handling crowds, even if there are only a few extra family members in our home, whom he knows very well.

    How does he do at school, both academically and with peers?

    He does well academically, he's reading in kindergarten, but if he doesn't have constant attention, he acts out to get it (so his teacher says). WIth his peers, it's hit or miss. When he was a toddler and we'd go to playgroups, he'd see kids playing with blocks, and want to join them, but instead of walking up asking to play, or sitting and building with them, he'd go knock it down, try as I might to teach him, he just never "got" how to approach a peer. He waits for this classmates to approach him. To get attention, he seems to push, poke, them, and that only gets him negative attention!

    Any speech or developmental delays?

    He was in speech and Occupational Therapist (OT) through First Steps until he was 3, then for 2 years in school, for pre-k and early-k. They have dropped him, saying his delays now are "normal" for his age, and they will test him at 7.

    Any sensory issues (for example, bothered by clothing tags, loud noises or food textures)?

    When he was 2, all of a sudden he would eat nothing but smooth yogurt, he would try to eat something else, and would cry because it would make him gag. The peds ended up taking his tonsils and adnoids out, mostly for his sleep apnea, but it helped the gagging, and he was able to eat more. Most clothes now are tagless, and he won't weat any pants besides sweat pants, for the most part. He HATES having his hair brushed. He likes his shoes on the wrong feet. He goes from fine to starving in an instant, and becomes VERY aggressive when he's hungry, yet he won't say he's hungry. He likes to move heavy things, like couches, arm chairs, he prefers deep pressure as oposed to light touch. ( need to get another burush to start brushing him again).
    He likes to hide behind and in things, especially if he gets upset. (He either hides, or gets aggressive). If he is praised too much, he gets angry (and one never knows what too much is). He seems to not be able to handle his emotions.

    Any mental health issues or substance abuse in the family tree?

    My father in law drinks a lot. My father seems to have depression, though he won't go and get diagnosed. My husband has anxiety issues (he was abused as a child). My brother has ADHD, depression and executive function disorder. (he's 13)

    Sorry this is so random, my mind is racing, and it's early yet, not fully functional brain! :smile:
  11. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Helena, thanks for answering my questions.

    As you might have gathered from the previous posters, your son did not have a full neuropsychological evaluation. My son's a year ago was 10 hours; my daughter's a few years ago was 8 hours. Neuropsychological evaluations involve lots of tests to assess the cognitive and psychological functioning of the child. The results of the testing point to a diagnosis and offer recommendations for interventions to help the child.

    While we can't diagnosis over the internet, your son has some red flags -- speech and developmental delays, sensory issues, trouble understanding peer relationships -- that may point to an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. You need to find a competent medical professional to diagnosis your son so he can then get appropriate interventions in school.

    Many on this board have turned to a "real" neuropsychologist, a developmental pediatrician or a multidisciplinary team for a thorough evaluation. All of these professionals can be found at children's or university teaching hospitals. Since you live in Massachusetts, you may want to head to the Boston area for a good evaluation.

    I hope that helps. We're here for you if you have more questions or concerns.
  12. Helena

    Helena New Member

    Thanks, I am thinking spectrum as well. I tried calling Boston Children's to get an evaluation, and they told me they were not excepting new patients indefinately! So it could take some work, but I will get on it, as soon as the Holiday's are over. No point in calling closed offices.
  13. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    No chance I'd be handing that report over to the school, especially if it had Conduct Disorder included.

    I just helped a friend through the neuropsychologist process and it included 3 apointments with the child and 15 different diagnostic tests. I'd be looking for a private reevaluation in all areas--developmental pediatrician or neuropsychologist, speech with emphasis on social skills, and Occupational Therapist (OT) to get a private opinion to bring into the school district. Never sign on either end to authorize exchange of information or reports--review them first and then hand deliver copies to the school.

    I've lived through most of the sensory stuff you've described. For years my difficult child wore only navy blue Healthtex knit pants with nylon shorts underneath. He's still limited but I've been able to get him into the Land's End climber pants in softer cotton styles and this year for the first time in 5 (!) years he's wearing a winter coat. A carefully selected winter coat but a coat nonetheless.

    I gave up regular mealtimes and just fed him when he was hungry. Saved a lot of headaches plus then he didn't have to deal with the sensory assault of the regular foods at the dinner table.
  14. tammyjh

    tammyjh New Member

    My daughter's first neuropsychologist exam was when she was almost 9 and it was 6 hrs. Her second was last year and it was 8 hrs. We've been told that the younger the child, the shorter the exam but 45 minutes doesn't sound like nearly enough time to be all that thorough.
  15. Helena

    Helena New Member

    Thanks for the link, I put in a request to join the group!
  16. Jamie

    Jamie New Member

    Hi am ne here to and at the end of my rope my difficult child is 6 (m) had full neuro psychiatric done in July ADHD,ODD,Aspergers,anxiety disorder and depressive disorder. Started therepy in august with no results, I am not even sure I know what kind of therpy it was.
    Presently takeing AdderallXR for ADHD, the behavior seems to be getting worse,however the priciple at shcool says he sees no problem he is doing great. Teacher is struggeling to keep him on task and at grade level. First evaluation done by school at the end of kindergarden placed him at grade level, the Independant evaluation showed a much different story, I am not clear on how that is possible, New therapist suggest that sleeping problem may be a result of halucenations and wants to refer to psychatrist.(says he sees all kinds of things at nite that are not there in the daytime, bugs, snakes, squirrls etc...)He has an IEP but the only way of measuring goals that I can see is standardized testing what ever that means. If is similar to the tests in kindergarden I have some concerns. Any help anyone has would be most appreciated. Oh yea the principle and the school psychologist suggested I get therapy because I am too "Intese" I took their advicec and my therapist disagrees with them both.