Hi group. First post. My wife and I have only 1 child, but she has felt like way more than that. Struggles since she was born. Can't sleep well, adhd, then add, then anxiety, depression, and the lot. I'm thinking people on this site get the picture, so I'll get right to it.
She is now 22 and living at home. She went to the college dorm just a couple months ago, but didn't fit in. Lot's of social anxiety. She was isolated then got depressed and back with Mom and Dad. She dropped a class. Now has 1 class 3 days a week, and 1 evening class once a week. Trying to get her looking for a summer job. She had 2 jobs in high school only for a month or so each. Both were failures. She can achieve, but needs more time and an emplyer who understands. Most days she sleeps until at least 1:00 PM. Constanly loosing things. Can't stay on the budget I setup for her. Room is a disater. Never cleans. Her impulsive nature makes her grasp the first pleasure and avoid things that would move her ahead. Like she never exercises and has a hard time disiplining herself.
Now and then she has a huge crash, panic attack, or deep depression. Then we give her the strong medications (lorazapam). She is on paxil, but recently she decided on her own to go off it. That created a crash we are just now dealing with. She doesn't follow the doctors advice on medications.
This has been a long road. I am burnt out on it. I told my wife I would like to move out just to have a place of respite. We have a great marriage, and that is the hard part. But being in an endless routine of low functioning, followed by occasional crashes takes a huge toll on me. When will I get my freedom? And how? She is not at the level where she could get any government serivces, yet I cannot seem to get her moving forward - maybe just baby steps. She did get 1 job application in this week. wow. It seems like either she needs to make progress, or I need to find respite. How can I force that?
On the positive side I will say that she has a very sunny spirit and people like her when meeting her. She is very kind and personalble. She has ambition, but just can't get past her barriers. Too many poor habits in place, especially with Mom and Dad. She takes the easy road here and that does prevent progress. If I push too hard it not only burns me out, but generally just stirs her up with little to no result. How do you motivate someone who is that stuck?
Enough for now.
Rob
She is now 22 and living at home. She went to the college dorm just a couple months ago, but didn't fit in. Lot's of social anxiety. She was isolated then got depressed and back with Mom and Dad. She dropped a class. Now has 1 class 3 days a week, and 1 evening class once a week. Trying to get her looking for a summer job. She had 2 jobs in high school only for a month or so each. Both were failures. She can achieve, but needs more time and an emplyer who understands. Most days she sleeps until at least 1:00 PM. Constanly loosing things. Can't stay on the budget I setup for her. Room is a disater. Never cleans. Her impulsive nature makes her grasp the first pleasure and avoid things that would move her ahead. Like she never exercises and has a hard time disiplining herself.
Now and then she has a huge crash, panic attack, or deep depression. Then we give her the strong medications (lorazapam). She is on paxil, but recently she decided on her own to go off it. That created a crash we are just now dealing with. She doesn't follow the doctors advice on medications.
This has been a long road. I am burnt out on it. I told my wife I would like to move out just to have a place of respite. We have a great marriage, and that is the hard part. But being in an endless routine of low functioning, followed by occasional crashes takes a huge toll on me. When will I get my freedom? And how? She is not at the level where she could get any government serivces, yet I cannot seem to get her moving forward - maybe just baby steps. She did get 1 job application in this week. wow. It seems like either she needs to make progress, or I need to find respite. How can I force that?
On the positive side I will say that she has a very sunny spirit and people like her when meeting her. She is very kind and personalble. She has ambition, but just can't get past her barriers. Too many poor habits in place, especially with Mom and Dad. She takes the easy road here and that does prevent progress. If I push too hard it not only burns me out, but generally just stirs her up with little to no result. How do you motivate someone who is that stuck?
Enough for now.
Rob
