I'm new

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by drama_mama85, Jul 11, 2008.

  1. drama_mama85

    drama_mama85 New Member


    My name is Mallory and I have a psycho needy family, I guess you could say. I was referred by a member here because our sons are peas of the same pod and we connected on a different forum for moms.

    Just a little background- if you look at my siggy, I have 2 sons and my first is a difficult child and the other is my easy child. They have been polar opposites from the day my 2nd was born. They were totally different babies and now as my youngest enters the "terrible twos" it's not nearly as bad as when Aiden was two. Corrigan is exactly what I expected a toddler to be like. Aiden was a toddler from hell!

    I knew something was up with Aiden at about age 1.5 when I began to really implement discipline. Discipline and punishments had no effect and he insisted upon the opposite of everything I said or encouraged...and even to this day, that's what I deal with. Things have calmed down some since the toddler years have melted away and he is approaching 5, but not alot. I deal with apparent symptoms of ODD and ADHD everyday.

    Currently, I am awaiting free assistance from my local school district in order to have him evaluated and treated. Luckily, my school system has a very wide variety of options available to me and since we are a lower income family, this is basically our only option. So, it is the route we are currently pursuing.

    I have also implemented my own version of beh. mod. therapy (based on research I've done) and my difficult child seems to be improving somewhat...but we have such a hard time following it because things change so frequently in our house because of our schedules and what we do that its tough to follow a routine and keep up with charts. We're trying, but it's not doing the job it could, I think. I hope. Honestly, we're just scrambling for a solution because after 4 years of having him, we are at our wits end and just need a solution if there is one.

    Also, I do have bipolar disorder myself. I'm not currently medicated, but I seem to manage fairly well on sheer will power and just fighing manic or depressive urges. And, my husband has undiagnosed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and paranoid schizophrenia. It has only been really apparent to me in the last 2-3 years. He cleans obsessively and worries excessively and has fairly severe paranoia attacks sometimes and minor hallucinations (auditory and visual) and it's a real pain to live with. But, I love my husband and I will stand by him through it. Hopefully someday we will be able to look into treatment for him...but right now, Aiden is the focus. husband manages fairly well and has been able to keep a job for over 2 years and is even being considered for management at his job- he just maintains very well. And sometimes, when he is at his worst, I can snap him out of his funks he gets into if I say the right thing and we've been through counseling so he knows how to listen to me and do as I say in regards to his thoughts...basically, he bounces things off of me and makes decisions based on my reactions. He can basically tell from my reactions to things if he's going too far- like with his paranoia and stuff.

    I do hope what I've said about my husband is understandable. I really dont know if I explained it well. I dont think I've ever explained his problems in type like this before. Other forums I've been on were all mommy forums and that's just not something I would really talk much about with "regular" people. lol

    So, anyways, I'm glad to be here and I hope to find support and guidance and friendships and I'm most of all looking forward to the feeling of security and not loneliness. Not being able to really talk about it because no one seems to really understand is aggravating. So, I'm glad my friend referred me!
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi drama_mama85, welcome to our forum! For the sake of your privacy, I'd like to suggest removing the name of your town from your profile if you're using real names of your children.

    We're seeing a pretty high correlation between parent mental health issues and those of the child so I think you're smart to jump on this right away. Usually we tell parents not to rely on the school district to diagnose medical and mental health but I understand if you feel like that's your only option. I would suggest you call your county mental health department and what's available through that. Also when you go through the school district evaluation they may be able to point you to other resources in the state or community since they will be familiar with what's out there. An ADHD diagnosis usually means medications which normally your pediatrician can handle but if you have a bipolar diagnosis that wouldn't be advisable until a full evaluation is done on your son.

    As far as behavior goes, what we're suggesting is for parents to start with the book The Explosive Child. Many of us have had good results with it. There's a thread at the top of this board about adapting it for younger children.

    What kinds of behavioral things are you seeing in your son? Does he have any other developmental or quirky issues that you've noticed?
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there.
    If you are low income, are you on Medicaid?
    If so, I advise (highly) that you take your son to somebody at a university hospital. They normally take Medicaid and are very good, on the cutting edge. Unfortunately, my experience with school districts diagnosing has been poor. It is always "ADHD" even if it's not (and ADHD symptoms appear in many disorders, as well as ODD symptoms appearing in almost any disorder a child has--that doesn't mean they have ADHD/ODD.). You may want this option for yourself and hub too. You don't want to risk your illnesses taking over when your child needs you so much. I also have a mood disorder and, untreated, it tends to get worse.
    Welcome to the board.
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Welcome, glad you found us. It sounds like you've already made good progress along the road with your family. Having a good understanding of yourself and your husband will be helping a lot.

  5. nateisnuts

    nateisnuts New Member

    hey hun! glad you finally signed up. these ladies are great and i just know its gonna be a big help for you like its been for me :)