I'm not sure what to say....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Dec 22, 2008.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I rec'd a phone call Saturday afternoon from the local hospital. At first I blew it off as a wrong number, but then I thought I best pick it up because kt was at respite.

    Not kt, but husband. He is in ICU, hovering between critical & guarded condition due to alcohol poisoining, & ascites & internal bleeding, not to mention cihhrosis. Not having a clue what the RN & doctors were telling me I immediately called slsh & picked her medical brain.

    Even though husband & I are seperated we hadn't gone through any legal loopholes so I'm legally responsible for making medical decisions on his behalf. The more information I was inudated with the more panicked I became. Sue helped calm me with information ~ I cannot make a decision with-o information.

    I called hospital back & gave permission for a few procedures that needed to be done. Since then I have rec'd one call after another so I decided I won't be sleeping anymore tonight after the lastest call for permission to perform another parsenthisis. He also needs to be intubated as he cannot maintain oxygen levels.

    I was just called a minute ago to contact relatives to make arrangements to come see him.

    I won't feel guilt, I do however feel a sense of loss. My husband is hanging onto his life by a thread.

    I'm dying inside....he chose alchohol over family & I feel such a total loss for our family.

    I'm humbling asking for prayers......
  2. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Oh, Linda!!! What a horrible situation you are in. I'll PM you.

  3. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest


    I don't know what to say. Words aren't adequate.

    I will say prayers and keep you and yours in my thoughts, my friend.

    (((((many gentle hugs)))))
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh. Linda, I'm so sorry. I think at a time like this, try to push aside the recent decisions he made- it was probably alcohol making them. Try not to look at it like this was his choice right now, even though I'm sure you're beyond upset and angry. Maybe some part of him thought it would be better to leave the house if he saw this coming. Who knows. Right now, you are doing what has to be done and you are right to do it- you are still his wife and he is your husband and father to the kids.

    My thought and prayers are with you. Post anytime with tears or anger or hurt feelings. I hope you can feel the strength of the board thru this difficult period. I really hope he pulls through this.
  5. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    OMG! Linda, I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so horrible to have to make medical decisions for a spouse.

    I'm sending white light and hopes for strength in your direction.
  6. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    And now this too. Sigh...I'm so sorry, Linda. My prayers are with you.
  7. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I can not begin to express how sorry I am that this is happening. Sending out my prayers and guiding hands to hold you up at this time.

  8. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Linda, I am so very sorry! I just don't know what to say! Sending prayers, strength, hugs ... whatever you need. We're here for you.
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    HOw terrible. Linda, I'm so sorry. Gentle hugs and prayers.

  10. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    :sad::sorry: I am so sorry!
  11. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member


    Don't you dare feel guilty. HIS CHOICES!! HIS CHOICES!! HIS CHOICES!!

    Praying for you, the tweedles and of course hubby.
  12. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Linda}}} Prayers are going out... :crying:
  13. Jena

    Jena New Member


    i'm so sorry you are in this position. i'm sending you and kt hugs right now
  14. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry, Linda. I'm glad you are not feeling guilt. I suspect guilt is the reason that HE's in the situation. I'm sorry that he chose alcohol instead of facing his demons. I will keep your family in my prayers.
  15. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Many, many prayers going out to your husband. And to you, kt and wm as well.

    We are all there with you Linda!
  16. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Linda, you are in my thoughts today.
    I am sorry that you are in this position with so many thoughts and unresolved feelings.
    I HATE alcohol. It destroys more than the drinker.
    Please know that all of us who know you are sending thoughts of support.
  17. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    Oh my goodness! No, of course not, do not feel guilty. His illnesses are not your fault. If he has cirrohsis, it may not have taken much to cause alcohol poisoning, either.
    What a horrid miserable thing. My thoughts are with you, my wishes for strength for all of you to cope with whatever comes from this, to get thru this. When I was driving home last nite I was thinking about you, and how much stronger you seemed of late. I was admiring your strength. I am so sorry you must have such a trial now. Hang in there. Many hugs coming to you!!!!!
  18. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda I am so very sorry. I am holding you close in my thoughts and of course my prayers.

  19. ML

    ML Guest

    I am so sorry. Alcohol has had its hold on my husband as well and it would shock me a whole lot less if it was him than your husband. This explains so much. He couldn't be there for you or for the family because he was very sick with this disease. Guilt is not even appropriate here; you didn't cause this, it isn't your fault and you were powerless to change or cure it. My heart and prayers are with you right now.
  20. Mayapple5

    Mayapple5 New Member

    I may be way off the mark, but I was married to an alcoholic for 11 years then I divorced him. He is has some physical problems right now and I am planning on going to see him soon. I don't want any regrets if something should happen to him. (My husband is fine with my going to see him)

    What I am saying is, if you have any feelings for him at all at all (which I think you might have since you haven't done anything but seperated from him) you may consider going to pay him a visit and say the things you have left unsaid (if anything). I'd hate to see you live your life with regrets should he die and you have things yet to scream at him or to say to him about your past or what you might have had had he not chose the booze.

    I'm so sorry you are going through this, we are not given more than we can handle, we are given the strength to get through what we are given and you are one strong lady. Bless you!

    I hope I haven't sounded too forward I just would hate for you to live with any regrets.