I'm so exhausted!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by AllStressedOut, Jun 27, 2007.

  1. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Well, it was bound to happen..one of our very scheduled days was bound to not work out. I've said before in the past we have always used grounding, priveledges being taken away, chores etc. to try to get our kids to stop misbehaving. Well, now with the schedule, the only time they have to not behave is night time and early morning before I wake up.

    Am I the only person on the planet who is totally creeped out by people sneaking around me while I'm sleeping? I'm not just talking going to the kitchen for a midnight snack...I mean actually coming into my room and looking through my things or watching me sleep kind of creepy.

    Okay, that being said, we have made it a rule that basically at night, you can get up to go to the bathroom and thats about it. With the most recent stealing issues, we put keyed locks on 3 of the bedroom doors so that we can close our door at night and not worry about it. We aren't locked in, but whoever isn't in there is locked out. The problem we have is that our 3 year old will get up in the middle of the night and freak out if she can't get to us. So we leave our door cracked.

    Lastnight the youngest and middle difficult child were up to something and I heard them, so I went to ask what was going on. I of course got the "I dunno" and "It wasn't me it was him" routine. Gotta love it. What was happening was that they were trying to find the keys so they could get into one of our rooms, still unsure whos. Then this morning I'm woken up by my 3 year old screaming because her 11 year old brother was playing keep away with a pillow that didn't belong to either of them. The youngest difficult child had an electric toothbrush in hand that he was moments away from beaning my oldest difficult child on the head with. Boys can make weapons out of anything, can't they?

    So...I had the boys all do a chore today. Well, I remember why I stopped this a few weeks ago. Because chores are a bigger headache on me then they are on them. I have to "inspect" to make sure they actually cleaned the dishes so we can eat off of them without getting sick. I looked at 1 pot at least 10 times. There were chunks of food on it with grease all over it, one swipe of my finger or fingernail took it off, so it wasn't difficult to get off with a soapy spunge, especially since it was my 11 year old doing this chore. I finally gave up on the idea, but ya know how the book says why punish just to punish? Well, because as a parent its our job to make sure they understand consequences for actions before they go to jail. But the book tells us that most inflexible explosive children aren't going to understand any better with consequences, that they already understand. This again, is something I haven't fully grasped yet. If they already understand then why do we always have to repeat repeat repeat? Why are the problems I have today going to be the same problems I have tomorrow and the next day and the day after that and so on? If we can't teach our kids right from wrong with consequences, what happens to them when they enter the real world? No one else is going to be as patient as we are as parents...and I'm starting to think patience is not a virtue I have. It certainly is one I wore thin on as the day progressed.

    Why is it when I ask my difficult children a question, there is never a straight answer? I've tried and tried to explain and show them, that if you're just honest with me, you won't get in trouble the way you will if you lie. I spent this entire last year doing this with school behavior and my youngest difficult child. If he came clean for his behavior at school, as long as what he did wasn't a serious offense, he didn't get into trouble for it with me. If he didn't come clean, he got in trouble for lying. Why hasn't this sunk in? He seemed to understand it during the school year, whats different now? Why is my middle difficult child, who has always been a sweetheart, suddenly so sneaky and mean? We wheaned him off the straterra, how much longer is that going to take to kick in? When do I get my sweet son back? I can deal with ADHD as long as he isn't stealing and he isn't being hateful.

    What a day! I think tomorrow will be better, but today just bummed me out. I need a drink! :smile:
  2. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    I don't have any words of wisdom for you - I just want to let you know I understand!!! I can't think of anything more difficult than raising difficult children!!!

    Since my difficult children have been out of school for the summer, I feel like I'm living in H-LL!!! :devil: :grrr: :devil: :grrr:

    My difficult children do their chores very poorly too. I now deduct Reward Time if they refuse to do their chores or if they don't do them properly. This has been the only thing that makes a bit of difference. They constantly need a carrot dangling in front of their faces. :grrr:

    I wish I had the answer to why difficult children lie all the time too. Better yet, I wish I found a way to get them to be truthful at least once in awhile...

    I can't help you with the sneaking around or stealing either - SORRY!!! I have similar problems here!!! :grrr:

    I'll join you in a :smile: though!!!

    Sending cyber hugs... :flower: WFEN
  3. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    So sorry you are going through all of this. I know how crummy it can be to be in a constant state of turmoil.
    There is another post today from PamelaJ, called "is it to much to", that might help you. I was thinking about your situation as well when I responded to it.

    Hang in there! It doesn't help that we are literally drowning here in Texas! I mean - I am from Oregon and I still have never seen this much rain. It tends to make one go stir crazy - especially for kids on summer break!

  4. TrishaBC

    TrishaBC New Member

    My son does the creepy watch us in the middle of the night thing too! He did it a lot more when he was younger, but it stills happens every couple of months. I'll wake up and he's just standing there watching me. I'll ask if he's had a bad dream, or what he's doing and he won't give me a straight answer. It's pretty wierd, I know the feeling.
  5. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Glad to hear its not just me. It is creepy! Its one thing if they had a bad dream or heard a noise...but just to come in and stare at me or to go through my stuff...thats weird. Creepy weird!
  6. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    Am I the only person on the planet who is totally creeped out by people sneaking around me while I'm sleeping? I'm not just talking going to the kitchen for a midnight snack...I mean actually coming into my room and looking through my things or watching me sleep kind of creepy.
    Oh no, when difficult child II threatened to kill me with a knife while I slept, I locked the :censored2: door! difficult child"s always walk in my room and start dialog while I am asleep, d/h is equally guilty.

    2morrow will be a better day, kudos to you for being disciplined enough to do this!
  7. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Ugh to the watching while sleeping thing. Mine would do it to see if I was really asleep so she could do whatever she had set her mind to do.

    As to the chore issue, I agree it is a lot more work for the parents. At the same time, if you can perservere, they usually get the message that doing something right the first time is easier than doing it over and over. I think it usually took my daughter 6 months to a year to learn to do a job properly but once she truly cared to do it right, the idea stuck that this was easier for this chore.

    There is a ray of hope for you, though. Like yours, my daughter rarely did a chore properly the first five times. To get her to do a chore took constant reminders. However, when she works today, she has a super work ethic. She does her best the first time and every time thereafter. She actually got fired from one job for not showing up and her supervisor still wrote her a letter of recommendation. So, all your work may pay off much, much later.
  8. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    So good to hear! I was sort of this way as a kid. It didn't take me as long for it to sink in, but I sure didn't do it right the first time. Now, if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it right. The only problem is the "if I'm going to do it" part. I hate cleaning!