I'm SO glad I read the box

[flutterby]

You know those Stouffer's French Bread Pizzas? I haven't had them in years, but decided I wanted one the other night so I sent easy child to the store.

I was reading the box for the oven temp and how long to bake. And then there was instruction #3 (and it was in bold):

Wearing pot holders and using both hands, carefully remove cooking tray from the oven.

Man. I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't told me that. Thank goodness someone is looking out for my safety.

I only used one hand, though. Wonder if that means I'm not allowed to have Stouffer's anymore.

So. I wonder who sued?

 

[mstang67chic]

Probably the sister of that woman who sued McD's when she got burned by the HOT coffee she ordered.

 

[Andy]

Sometimes I think that is why instructions get so overwhelming and wordy. It throws me off when I read the most obvious of instructions. I feel like taking a marker and crossing off those "of course" ones so it doesn't look too complicated. But then the factory will sue me for tampering with their instructions.

Love the "Do not remove" tags! They still baffle me! O.K., what will happen? I am sure there are many GsFGs out there who have done so just to see why. Pretty sure nothing happened.

 

[donna723]

It makes you wonder, doesn't it. I've had some of the frozen dinners that tell you to microwave for four minutes, then they warn you that the contents will be HOT!!! Well, no kidding!

 

[Hound dog]

Sort of contradicts our belief that we're smarter than we've ever been in history doesn't it?

 

[nvts]

Why didn't our difficult children come out of a box! What a lawsuit THAT would have been! Either that or the directions would have been a mile long!

Beth

 

[gcvmom]

I only used one hand, though. Wonder if that means I'm not allowed to have Stouffer's anymore.

Ohmagosh! I can't BELIEVE how irresponsible you are! Do you ENJOY living recklessly? Do you have any IDEA how dangerous that little stunt was? You could've put somebody's eye out! No, wait, that's not it... ummm... well, it was bad. Bad girl! Bad!

 

[Andy]

I think our difficult children did come out of a box. Someone threw the box away with the instructions (which we wouldn't be able to understand anyway - but for some reason our kids think they know the instructions and keep reminding us that we are wrong) so that we wouldn't know who to sue.

:rolf:

 

[1905]

Somebody most likely did NOT use potholders, and sued, won money based on the fact that it "wasn't on the instructions".

 

[goldenguru]

People have sued for less - and won.

It's a crazy world I tell ya!!

 

[SRL]

Probably the sister of that woman who sued McD's when she got burned by the HOT coffee she ordered.

I always thought that was totally ridiculous until I got a cup of tea from Border's that was so scorching hot that an hour later (after a trip home in winter) it was still very warm. I'm typically careful with hot drinks but this one was so hot it was dangerous to body tissue.

 

[Abbey]

I always have been fond of the 'open here' arrow on frozen foods. Gee...I wouldn't know how to get it open if you hadn't put the arrow there. I would have sat for days trying to figure it out. The kicker is that most times that damn thing doesn't work and you end up just tearing the box open. Now you're really in a bind as you tore through the VERY important directions. Damn! I forgot to wear the oven mits and only used one hand! LAWSUIT!!

Abbey

 

[trinityroyal]

Food instructions just kill me.
I remember as a little girl, my Grannie used to pack fruit roll-ups in my lunch box.
My classmates and I used to HOWL at the instructions on the back of the package. All ILLUSTRATED, mind.

1) Unroll.
2) Peel.
3) Eat.
4) Enjoy.

Honestly!

 

[AnnieO]

Food's bad, but how about... A hair dryer... "Do not use while showering" or whatever it is.

Following - rant - SO NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT - but if I offend you, that's not my intent... LOL

If there are instructions on toothpicks, you know we've dumbed the world down to the lowest common denominator... This is all in the name of NCLB... The reason no one is left behind is everyone else is waiting on them!

It is my personal belief (and you guys can smack me all you want) that there need to be smart people and not-so-smart people. Not everyone can be a rocket scientist (and I, for one, wouldn't want to be).

Natural selection dictates that in general the population should evolve and become more intelligent. All our neat scientific advances have nullified natural selection.

Actually the problem is someone was smart enough to figure out they could make a lot of money by ordering hot coffee and then klutzing it up.

 

[eekysign]

I always thought that was totally ridiculous until I got a cup of tea from Border's that was so scorching hot that an hour later (after a trip home in winter) it was still very warm. I'm typically careful with hot drinks but this one was so hot it was dangerous to body tissue.

Actually, that McDonald's case was one of the most legitimate lawsuits ever filed. There are a lot of webpages out there describing why - go take a look sometimes, it's NUTS!! - but here are the basics:

McDonald's was warned, repeatedly, for serving coffee at unsafe temps. Like, WAY WAY over the safe, industry standard temps. Approximately 40-50 DEGREES over average. The poor 79 y/o old lady was a passenger (people tend to say she was driving) in her grandson's car (that was parked, not moving), when the coffee spilled on her - and it was so hot that it caused FULL THICKNESS burns to 6% of her body. She was in the hospital for over a week, and had to have several skin grafts!

McDonald's excuse was that most of the customers bought the coffee to drink it at the office, home, whatever, and not in the car, so they wanted to make sure it was still hot when they arrived at their destination. 'Cause lord knows, none of us have ever gone through a drive-through and.....drank the drink we ordered, while still in the car! Hehehe.

In any case, all she asked for originally was her $20K medical bills paid - and McDonald's refused. When she sued, all the nasty details of all the OTHER people who had been horribly burned came out, and the jury awarded her a "ridiculous" amount of punitive damages - equaling merely TWO DAYS of McDonald's coffee sales. That's why it "seemed" so high. She ended up not getting that much---there was a later settlement.

Hahah, I know I wrote a ton. But I see people use the "McDonald's case" a lot, and it's actually such a sad, true, legitimate story of the legal system working the way it should!

 

[muttmeister]

Love the "Do not remove" tags! They still baffle me! O.K., what will happen?

Had to laugh when I saw that. I'm pretty sure those tags mean do not remove while they are in the store and not after you take the product home but I'm enough of a difficult child that everytime I buy something with one on, the first thing I do is rip it off. LOL

 

[AnnieO]

OK, I'll go for that, and strike it from my list! It's just that since then, people are suing for the dumbest things.

...I stabbed myself in the mouth with a fork, I'm suing Oneida for making the fork...

...I tripped on a rug lying flat on the floor, I'm suing the rug manufacturer...

...I let my kid stand up in a cart and he fell, I'm suing Target for having carts...

But my favorite was when I worked in returns, in the back of a major retailer. Seems someone had bought a stainless-steel toaster, then when making toast, burned themselves on the outside of it. The box actually states that the appliance gets hot and not to touch the sides, only the heat-resistant handles. This person returned it and told the poor girl at the returns desk that if they didn't get their money back RIGHT NOW they were suing XXX (where I worked). No receipt. Turned out they hadn't even bought it - it was a gift - and it was purchased at another retailer.

Wow.

 

[flutterby]

Hey, I'm all for natural selection. I think it should start with my ex.......

But, seriously. If you don't know how to safely remove hot items from the oven, you really shouldn't be using the oven to begin with.

 

[KTMom91]

We bought a frozen pizza that started the directions with...Do not eat before cooking.

Who would want to?

 

[donna723]

Does anybody but me remember when SHAMPOO used to come with instructions? "Lather. Rinse. Repeat"!

I remember when all the McDonalds coffee lawsuit stuff was going on, and McDonalds was saying they kept their coffee at that exact temperature because it tasted better that way! But I don't see how you could taste it at all when it was so hot, it could singe the tastebuds right off your tongue! It's actually kind of scary to think of them handing it down to you from the drive-thru window! I tried it a few times but it was always too hot to drink - we'd have finished the whole rest of the meal and the coffee was still too hot to drink! I'm not surprised that someone got burned by it.