I'm so tired

[Wiped Out]

and frustrated. We had difficult child's IEP today after school. We didn't finish. I'm feeling like we're getting nowhere. They want to take out the language saying he needs direct individual instruction because our district doesn't allow one on ones to be written into IEPs. I will post in Special Education but I thought they couldn't do that if that is what he needs.

We didn't finish because two people (school psychologist and Occupational Therapist (OT) person) that husband (and I agree with him) really wants to be there had to leave. We didn't even get to revising his BIP and I was really hoping to address that. We did talk about some strategies they can use in the meantime to help when difficult child is angry. Looks like we won't meet for at least another two weeks.

All of this advocating and difficult child has been such a PITA lately. Yesterday he was so mad about a consequence that he headbutted me when I was trying to get something away he was trying to destroy. His headbutt gave me a fat lip but thankfully the swelling went down with ice. After the meeting where we were advcoating like crazy he was a major grouch. Honestly sometimes I just want to runaway!

 

[Hound dog]

((((hugs)))) Sharon.

I recall those meetings with dread to this day. I don't think they're supposed to deny a one on one aide if it is what he needs. But then, T never did get one although we tried like crazy.

Smart of you to call a halt to the meeting when the two people you wanted there had to leave. Hopefully the second part will go better.

 

[Loris]

I don't ever like dealing with IEPs or the such, either. It's always so hard to get what we need from the schools for our difficult children. I hope the next one goes smoother, too.

 

[timer lady]

Sharon,

I find that advocacy for our challenging/ill difficult children to be a full time job. Balancing the daily needs, behaviors & such of a difficult child along with school, psychiatrists, tdocs, etc, can be overwhelming at best.

Schools, in particular, have a "I know best" mentality which frustrates the bejeebers out of me. It's so hard to get a team of school professionals on board with recommendations from a neuropsychologist evaluation, psychiatrist or therapist. SD sees $$$$ flying out the door.

I hope the next IEP goes better & is completed on a timely basis. Your difficult child has some pretty awesome challenges & needs all the supports & interventions now, while he is still young.

by the way, did you report difficult children aggression to psychiatrist? I'm concerned over his level of aggression toward you.

Take care, lady.

 

[Wiped Out]

Thanks Ladies,

Lisa, Lois, and Linda-Thanks for the good wishes for the next IEP meeting. I did get some good suggestions from the spec. ed. forum.

I think the overwhelmed feeling is coming from doing the advocating and then dealing with him in his rages and disrespect and wondering why do I try so hard? Of course, I know the answer to that but it's just frustrating beyond belief some days.

Linda-I didn't report it but will mention it at the next meeting or sooner if it continues. I just am not sure what he would do because I don't see him wanting to hospitalize difficult child at this point because his violence although not acceptable is fewer and farther between episodes.

 

[Sunlight]

Sharon, it amazes me how much we all face. not to mention we have homes, other kids to care about, and jobs, friends, and a life to live. taking care of, advocating for, and being a parent to a difficult child is overwhelming!

my first son was born with heart disease. I spent three years fighting hospitals, docs and specialists to try and help him. while doing that I was working full time and staying awake nights to nurse him thru his blue spells when he could not breathe. (he passed away in 1974-a long time ago-before he was 3 yrs old)

having said that I have to say even all that was not as hard as getting mental health help, school help and the dead ends I came across with ant. sigh.

I hope you find some help and answers before you are all worn out completely. be sure to take time and soak in the tub with a glass of wine now and then. get your wonderful hubby to rub some lotion on your feet. spray your linens with lavendar, light some candles and sit on the porch when you can.
be good to you.

 

[DDD]

It's a bone weary tiredness, I'm sure. It is so hard to fall back and regroup especially when you can't see a happy ending
to work toward. Many of us understand and sympathize. Hugs.DDD

 

[oceans]

I hope you get the IEP finished soon, and that better days are ahead. Sometimes it does feel like it goes on forever. It seems that once the IEP is finished, then you have to be on your toes to make certain it is being implemented. I hope that everything goes smoothly for you and that you and that the school will be good to work with in the future!!