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I'm still learning to disconnect
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 635273" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. I am sorry he is still GFGing you <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> What I mean by that is, he is doing what most of them do...trying a mixture of guilt and abuse to get us to do what they want. In this case, he wants money. Who knows why? To make us feel really down and dirty, they do say things like we aren't their mother anymore, having complete amnesia over what we have done for them. I don't really think it's amnesia though. I think they remember clearly what we did and are furious that we have stopped so they say whatever they can to trigger guilt in us so that we will give up an d do what they want. It's about control, in my opinion.</p><p></p><p>You may want to try just not read his texts or FB for now. You know he is trying to get money and you also know that contact with him won't be pleasant right at this point and that it is not even rational. Why does he need a key that he can't use to a house he doesn't live in? Well, obviously to get into that house and use it, although he won't own up to it.</p><p></p><p>It takes us all a while to get fed up, but it is freeing once we understand that we are not helping our adult children by taking care of them when they continuously make antisocial and criminal decisions, and that they need to learn for themselves that their lifestyles make them unhappy and, yes, even chase loved ones away. They aren't very fun to be around. Even though we love them, we may not LIKE them very much.</p><p></p><p>I think you did great <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I hope you find peace this weekend. Don't take what difficult child says too personally. difficult children are control freaks and he is only trying to get you to say "how high" when he tells you to jump. Most of them are that way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 635273, member: 1550"] Hi. I am sorry he is still GFGing you :) What I mean by that is, he is doing what most of them do...trying a mixture of guilt and abuse to get us to do what they want. In this case, he wants money. Who knows why? To make us feel really down and dirty, they do say things like we aren't their mother anymore, having complete amnesia over what we have done for them. I don't really think it's amnesia though. I think they remember clearly what we did and are furious that we have stopped so they say whatever they can to trigger guilt in us so that we will give up an d do what they want. It's about control, in my opinion. You may want to try just not read his texts or FB for now. You know he is trying to get money and you also know that contact with him won't be pleasant right at this point and that it is not even rational. Why does he need a key that he can't use to a house he doesn't live in? Well, obviously to get into that house and use it, although he won't own up to it. It takes us all a while to get fed up, but it is freeing once we understand that we are not helping our adult children by taking care of them when they continuously make antisocial and criminal decisions, and that they need to learn for themselves that their lifestyles make them unhappy and, yes, even chase loved ones away. They aren't very fun to be around. Even though we love them, we may not LIKE them very much. I think you did great :) I hope you find peace this weekend. Don't take what difficult child says too personally. difficult children are control freaks and he is only trying to get you to say "how high" when he tells you to jump. Most of them are that way. [/QUOTE]
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