This is my first post. I'm three weeks into a ODD diagnosis for my son. He turned five on Wednesday. I can barely wrap my head around what is happening. I struggle between trying to learn everything possible and sticking my head under a rock and pretending this isn't happening. I wonder if I'm ont overreacting. I wonder if maybe i'm not just patient enough. I wonder how my marriage will survive. I wonder if it's my fault. I'm sure it is. I'm bipolar. I promised myself that i would never have a child so that i would never ever pass on to another human being the misery of a mental health issue. I have failed myself and my son. I feel like the worst parent. I continually catch myself thinking "I gave my son a therapist for his 5th birthday." I wonder if Karate would help, or just make it worse. I worry that he will be the bully. I worry that he will be the weird kid. I worry that he wont make friends. i worry that he will get suspended. i worry that no one will see the awesome kid he can be. I'm grieving the loss of my perfect son. I am over whelmed. I need help.