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Im tired of her ruining my day !
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 665637" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>soooo,</p><p></p><p>My son is 34. It took almost two years for husband and me to really separate. </p><p></p><p>We found this forum and that was the beginning (I had Googled "How to stop enabling" to find it).</p><p></p><p>It did not come easily, nor quickly. It took a lot of ignoring texts and calls. No more trying to reason with our son, no longer telling him much of anything. Just stopping the conversations, stopping all $$. Basically, just stepping way back and focusing on us.</p><p></p><p>Again, it was not overnight. It took about 3 months to feel somewhat better and another year to feel really good. husband and I <strong>still</strong> have shaky moments because Difficult Child will contact us here and there. Still a little guilt here and there, still some <strong><em>what if's</em>? </strong>But, absolutely, hands down, no comparison to where we were. You will get there, also.</p><p></p><p>Our lives are way better than the old days....when we thought staying engaged was our role as his parents. At one time, we did not realize this was even an option; i think we thought it was our cross to bear--even though we knew (beyond a shadow of a doubt) nothing we were doing was helping our son.</p><p></p><p>It is a simple concept, but difficult to internalize for awhile.</p><p></p><p></p><p>SS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 665637, member: 17635"] soooo, My son is 34. It took almost two years for husband and me to really separate. We found this forum and that was the beginning (I had Googled "How to stop enabling" to find it). It did not come easily, nor quickly. It took a lot of ignoring texts and calls. No more trying to reason with our son, no longer telling him much of anything. Just stopping the conversations, stopping all $$. Basically, just stepping way back and focusing on us. Again, it was not overnight. It took about 3 months to feel somewhat better and another year to feel really good. husband and I [B]still[/B] have shaky moments because Difficult Child will contact us here and there. Still a little guilt here and there, still some[I] [/I][B][I]what if's[/I]? [/B]But, absolutely, hands down, no comparison to where we were. You will get there, also. Our lives are way better than the old days....when we thought staying engaged was our role as his parents. At one time, we did not realize this was even an option; i think we thought it was our cross to bear--even though we knew (beyond a shadow of a doubt) nothing we were doing was helping our son. It is a simple concept, but difficult to internalize for awhile. SS [/QUOTE]
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Im tired of her ruining my day !
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