I'm trying to think of this as good news....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by muttmeister, Mar 24, 2008.

  1. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    difficult child#2 and his wife are having another baby.

    He will be 21 in May, she won't be 21 till December. THey have a 3 year old and a one year old. Neither one of them have jobs although difficult child does make some money scrapping but he wastes more then he earns. My mother and I have been helping them pay a few basic bills and they do get food stamps so they won't go hungry. They live in a house that we own so the grandkids have a roof over their heads. She has bipolar and he is borderline. THey fight like cats and dogs and I don't think the marriage will last till the kids grow up. Right now I like her better than I do my own difficult child as he is being a real south end of a horse going north.

    BUT...I know a baby is supposed to be a blessing. I don't want to feel bad about this baby. I don't want them to feel that way...they have apparently decided that they will have it. I don't know if I would make the same choice but it is not my choice to make. She was on the pill when she got pregnant with all 3 of these kids. I don't know if she's too dumb to take them right or what. After the last baby, difficult child went to see about getting a vasectomy but the doctor wouldn't do it because he is so young. Do you suppose we can get the doctor to support this kid?:furious:

    Anyway, I guess I will be grandma to #3. It would be great, if only he'd get a job and keep it. Oh, well....
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Maybe they haven't gotten the lesson that unprotected sex creates a baby.

    I always have trouble understanding why there are unplanned pregnancies in this day and age. One doesn't have to be a rocket scientist to understand the concept of planned pregnancies.
    3 babies under the age of 3 with no visible means of support is irresponsible.
    Hope one of them gets a job so you don't have to support them in their extended adolescence.
    It's unfortunate that they don't seem to have a sense of what it takes to raise a child.

    Tell them they have proven they are fertile and sexually active. It's time to move on to another life lesson.
  3. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Wow.. sounds like my mom, but in those days it wasn't seen as unusual. She had her first at 14 (married), second at 15, then myself at 19. Then again, she was the youngest of 18 so it probably didn't seem unusual.

    Hope they're able to support.

    I asked to have my tubes tied when I was in my late 20's and the doctor wouldn't do it. He said the typical age to allow it is 35. So, I waited until 35 and got it done IMMEDIATELY.

  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I can say for certain the pill doesn't always work. My three neices and difficult child are proof of that.

    However, there's more times than not that its operator error. One would think at this point they'd have an idea of what's NOT working for them.

    I'm sorry. I can't say I'd be any happier.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Mutt -

    You'll love this one just as much as you do the other two. Congratulations. You know in life there are always going to be people who have babies, who shouldn't. I think of all the desperate people out there that want to have a baby so badly - and then I think of difficult child's having a baby. And then I think- If my supreme difficult child x had not monkeyed with my BC pills I wouldn't have Dude -

    And considering how mentally controlled I must have been - I probably should not ever had a child either. And there ARE days when I think if I could have put him back I would have. (One pain vs. another)

    But keep in mind - there is a plan. It's not theirs, it's not yours - someone a little higher up already knows there's a special someone just waiting to be born and have the worlds most fantastic Grandma.

    Maybe looking at it a little different will help ease some of the feelings - ?

    In any event

    CONGRATULATIONS LADY - You are a great Grandma!
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Concentrate on loving the baby. Keep help to a minimum and hope that this one is at least the one that makes them realize that working is a good idea.

    Congrats on the new baby.:redface: You know you'll love it.

    by the way, I got pregnant the first time on the pill, and then got pregnant with easy child on the pill taking it correctly. I got Travis with a condom. And Nichole with a vesectomy. easy child got Darrin on the pill. My sis got two of hers on the pill. My neice got pregnant after having her tubes tied.

    No birth control is 100 percent. They need to KNOW that, since they obviously haven't figured it out.

  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    While I agree that pregnancies should be planned, it is not always the parents who plan them.

    I got preggo with difficult child on the pill. No antibiotics, same time every day, did EXACTLY what they told me I should do. We also used a condom always.

    Condoms can break, and even if they don't, they are not always effective.

    Jess and thank you were both conceived on the pill, with a 2nd form of protection.

    I was NOT ready when I got pregnant with difficult child. Jess could not have picked a more stressful time to come along. I was getting ready to take the GMAT and go back for my Master's and PhD.

    I finally found out WHY I was getting pregnant while on the pill (and no, husband is not SUPERSTUDMAN). My natural hormone levels were just low enought that the pill HELPED me to get pregnant. It gave me just enough hormones to get pregnant.

    While I think that it is irresponsible to have kids that young, and when you are not supporting yourself, it is not my place to judge things.

    In this day and age, even with the mediclal advances, it is still very much a possiblity to get pregnant.

    I knwo it is frustrating and aggravating to have your child keep procreating.

    You are a wonderful mom and grandma. Please know that this baby is another gift.