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I'm upset!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 11371" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>Mellissa is twenty one. It sounds to me like she is telling you just enough of the story to confuse and make you angry.</p><p></p><p>I agree with the others of us.</p><p></p><p>"Melissa, moving home is not an option."</p><p></p><p>If you go to PE archives, there is a posting (oddly enough Melissa, about ME!!!) in which those who had been fighting this battle longer than I had at that time provided me with answers to the things my difficult child was throwing at me to keep me unbalanced and so, unable to respond appropriately.</p><p></p><p>Go there, Sue.</p><p></p><p>Battling a difficult child is like a war. Their objective is to keep you off balance and on their side so they can get you to do what they want.</p><p></p><p>They do not care what this costs us in grief or chaos or money.</p><p></p><p>For now, remember simple phrases that will work in almost any situation: "I'm sorry that's happening honey, but I know you will be able to work it out." or "Your father and I have decided moving home is no longer an option for you, Melissa ~ not unless we see (and then, state whatever your expectations are).</p><p></p><p>The other thing you might tell Melissa is that these are the consequences for her actions in the real world. If she can accept and learn from them, she can grow through this. If all she is going to do is fixate on some male and cry "foul" she will not be able to move on.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong, Sue.</p><p></p><p>So many of us have been right where you are now.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 11371, member: 3353"] Mellissa is twenty one. It sounds to me like she is telling you just enough of the story to confuse and make you angry. I agree with the others of us. "Melissa, moving home is not an option." If you go to PE archives, there is a posting (oddly enough Melissa, about ME!!!) in which those who had been fighting this battle longer than I had at that time provided me with answers to the things my difficult child was throwing at me to keep me unbalanced and so, unable to respond appropriately. Go there, Sue. Battling a difficult child is like a war. Their objective is to keep you off balance and on their side so they can get you to do what they want. They do not care what this costs us in grief or chaos or money. For now, remember simple phrases that will work in almost any situation: "I'm sorry that's happening honey, but I know you will be able to work it out." or "Your father and I have decided moving home is no longer an option for you, Melissa ~ not unless we see (and then, state whatever your expectations are). The other thing you might tell Melissa is that these are the consequences for her actions in the real world. If she can accept and learn from them, she can grow through this. If all she is going to do is fixate on some male and cry "foul" she will not be able to move on. Stay strong, Sue. So many of us have been right where you are now. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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