I'm worried about difficult child

[DDD]

There's not a thing anyone can do to help but I just need to express that I am concerned about difficult child. He graduated a couple of weeks ago and starts a six week summer learning program at the community college next Monday. He used a shaving razor and cut most of his hair off after he got home from the barber and didn't like the way it looked.

Yesterday his Mom's SO told me he was worried about difficult child. Said his behavior is "strange" and that "he does things and doesn't remember doing them". easy child/difficult child was over there this week and told me difficult child is acting weird "like he used to when he first came to live at our house" 2003.

GFGmom tells me "don't worry I called the psychiatrist last Thursday because I am about fed up with his antics". Eh Gods! (psychiatrist is on vacation until the 22nd, which GFGmom conveniently left out of the story.)

He's 18 and left our house last August "to live with MY MOM". He has little to no supervision as she believes "he is an adult now and doesn't need someone bugging him". Yikes. Whine over. DDD

 

[Andy]

I hope psychiatrist gets back to them on Monday. However, I am sure psychiatrist will have a long list of catch up calls to make - difficult child should start calling Monday morning and bugging his office. Also, psychiatrist should have had a back up psychiatrist to be reviewing his calls while on vacation.

Let GFGmom's SO know he should take difficult child to ER when he witnesses this behavior.

Something is going wrong when so many people are seeing it.

 

[klmno]

Does he have anxiety issues? I do sometimes and if I'm overwhelmed with stress- even if it's just too many changes at once, it can cause forgetfulness and what looks like odd behavior to others. You probably already know that and it doesn't really solve the problem, I guess. Will it help for you to take him to lunch or just have him over to relax or talk? What if you offered to take him out to pick up a few things he needs for the new school- would he spend a little time with you then so you can guage things yourself?

 

[DDD]

Klmno, you read my mind. I'm picking him up tomorrow to judge for myself. That will give me a little time to stifle my frustration and full resentment of GFGmom's lack of parental caring. Geez. DDD

 

[klmno]

Good for you! If it is anxiety, it will probably help him a lot just to have someone listen.

 

[DammitJanet]

Would he come stay with grandma to "help her out" for a bit? You have been sick for a while and Im sure he knows this. Maybe you can convince him that you need his help. That could make him feel important but really you are looking out for him.

Dunno, just a thought.

 

[busywend]

At least the adults in the house realized it. That is a step up from the past, huh?! LOL!

I understand your worry. Especially since those adults DID notice it - he must be out of sorts.

I sure would see what I could get out of him. Glad they called psychiatrist.

Keep us posted!

 

[DDD]

The latest news is that GFGmom has responded to my inquiry via email and basically started out blowing me off. Now...this evening...she writes "I just discovered that he has two weeks of Lexapro plus his regular medications" I don't even know what that means. Yes, I wrote back and asked for clarification in a pleasant laid back way.

WTH?????? She does NO supervision but she sure as heck knows how to get the disability payments coming. She was born in 1964 and it is still hard for me to go with the flow of her difficult child thinking. Yuk! DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

Sounds like maybe he only has two weeks worth of all his medications. Thats the way I would take that email. She needs to either get refills ordered or get him in to see the psychiatrist so they will order refills. Some will order them without seeing him, some wont.

 

[DDD]

Could be, Janet. on the other hand, it could be that he took two weeks and has no more and therefore is showing aftereffects OR it could mean that he has been showing inappropriate side effects since he began the medication (I think about three weeks ago +-) and GFGmom wasn't watching for the effects even though Lexapro warns to be careful under 24 OR it could mean that she just "found" two more weeks of medication.

With GFGmom, there is no telling. Truthfully I know that he needs regular structure and isn't getting it. The psychiatrist told me last week when easy child/difficult child and I went for his appointment "I'm really concerned about difficult child and wish he still lived with you instead of his Mom". I don't think I have the energy to even try one more year.

thanks for caring. DDD

 

[crazymama30]

Hugs. Sounds like a difficult situation. psychiatrists statement would have me concerned too. I bet that you are worn down by the whole situation, and another year would be exhausting.

 

[totoro]

Even though the psychiatrist's comment would frighten me, at least he is in tune with what is going on with difficult child.

Sorry you are having to go through this and suffer through the inner turmoil. Such a tough place to be in.
You are a good person though for trying so hard.